Page 15 | Pregnancy announcement before brothers wedding

Kittycat02 · 2025-06-03T07:26:06+00:00

I’ve just found out we are expecting, and have had an early scan (8weeks). My brother gets married in 2 weeks time, so I want to announce it now so that I don’t have to pretend to drink at the wedding. It’s only a small wedding with parents and siblings so I was going to announce it to the people who will be at the wedding as they are my close family and I know how excited they are going to be! AIBU to announce it before his wedding or should I wait until afterwards?

Takentomybed · 04/06/2025 19:05

I really don't understand why it would be a problem to tell your family or friends you are pregnant. This is happy news and it just adds to the joy of the wedding.

Also some people choose to wait to announce pregnancy but it is perfectly fine to tell people as soon as you find out yourself if you want.

I'm 50 and I do think people were a lot less precious about this when we were all getting pregnant or married.

MidLifeMayhem · 04/06/2025 19:10

I just don’t get this at all. Unless you are a party animal who everyone expects to go wild drinking why would anyone notice?. There’s loads of different things you could say if you did want to prepare in case someone noticed as others have said. A good one is ‘I’m doing a detox/no alcohol for xx days/haven’t touched a drink this year through to driving later/tomorrow, on meds for days and so on’. A glass of water with ice and lemon looks the same as gin and tonic etc. I don’t think you should announce it and don’t think it needs to be a big deal.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 04/06/2025 19:10

HB28 · 03/06/2025 08:58

You know your brother and partner better than any of us. I personally would not have been upset if my brother had announced a couple of weeks before our wedding, but everyone is different. That said we waited until after our 12 week scan to tell everyone.

True, ok for the siblings, but the bride might be upset.

Whataninterestinglookingpotato · 04/06/2025 19:13

If it was me I would love to hear your happy news. But some brides would get annoyed and view it as stealing their thunder.

you know the couple getting married best so you’re the one who needs to make the call.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 04/06/2025 19:13

NYSea · 03/06/2025 09:07

This is peak precious behaviour that I cannot relate to. I could not care less if somebody announced their pregnancy before my wedding or during my wedding. I love hearing happy news especially when it is close family or friends.

Of course you can tell your family now. It does not make the wedding any less special. I was not a bridezilla diva though.

My eyes are rolling so much at some of these responses. ‘Let them have their day’. How is telling family you are pregnant not letting a couple have a good wedding day?? Ugh.

So you can't comprehend that people see things differently?

Whataninterestinglookingpotato · 04/06/2025 19:16

CallieG · 03/06/2025 23:13

Please don’t be THAT PERSON, a selfish person who hijacks someone else’s special occasion & makes it about Them.
Your brothers wedding is about him & his Bride, NOT YOU. This is their One day to bask in the spotlight. If you announce your pregnancy at their wedding you will hurt them both & it’s something that you may not be forgiven for doing.

There are plenty of other perfectly valid reasons for not drinking.

BTW, 10 weeks is far too early to be publicly announcing a pregnancy, Wait until your second trimester.

Proving the point that we’re all different. I wouldn’t care and wouldn’t view it as stealing my thunder, I’d just be happy for you. But this poster obviously would be really annoyed. So you have to make the call as you know your sister in law better than any of us!

Blablibladirladada · 04/06/2025 19:25

After. But you know this, you just wish everyone said « Hell the wedding! Give your good news » 😂😂

Jc2001 · 04/06/2025 19:27

luckylavender · 03/06/2025 08:51

Ask the bride

Don't put it on the bride. Just wait until after the wedding.

ZoeCM · 04/06/2025 19:37

The depressing thing about this thread is that society is so obsessed with alcohol that people need to invent an "excuse" not to drink.

cardboardvillage · 04/06/2025 19:40

Announce now

I don’t really understand the point about “attention “
makes no sense at all

cardboardvillage · 04/06/2025 19:44

Announce now. Everyone has 2 weeks to congratulate you.

Life is life. Things happen. You wont be walking down an aisle, saying vows; making a speech, sitting top table, weating a bridal gown, being centre in the photos

so how is it stealing attention? You sre allowed to discuss your life at the event

Deedeedi3 · 04/06/2025 20:40

oncimesmask · 03/06/2025 08:54

I’d wait around 4 weeks just say you are on antibiotics /feel under the weather or have a drink and don’t drink it . Will anyone be that interested in your drinking habits?

Congratulations! I'd wait a couple of weeks after. If you're a driver say 'no alcohol I'm driving, or they probably wont even noticr'. Let them have their day, it's their special time.😉

Laura95167 · 04/06/2025 21:50

Wait. Be designated driver for DH

Laura95167 · 04/06/2025 21:59

TwinklyBird · 03/06/2025 09:09

Wait. It’s not 12 weeks, so it might look like you’re announcing early to steal the limelight.

I’ve never understood the lying/antibiotics/pretending to drink thing. Yeah people might notice and might think you’re pregnant but surely no-one would actually say anything?! So what does it matter if they guess beforehand, as long as they keep it to themselves? And it would be incredibly rude to say to someone “oh you’re not drinking, are you pregnant?”

When I told my mum I was pregnant with my first, she said she knew because I hadn’t had a drink in months but obviously she never actually questioned me about it.

Totally agree, and sometimes people just don't want to drink.

I like coke and water and tea enough sometimes I just have that as I'm in the mood for it.

Cluborange666 · 04/06/2025 22:20

Just don’t do what my brother and his then girlfriend did to me and announce it on the morning of my wedding as a ‘surprise’… I think she did it on purpose because my brother refused to marry her and she was jealous. My brother is just dense.

DappledThings · 04/06/2025 22:36

Cluborange666 · 04/06/2025 22:20

Just don’t do what my brother and his then girlfriend did to me and announce it on the morning of my wedding as a ‘surprise’… I think she did it on purpose because my brother refused to marry her and she was jealous. My brother is just dense.

Even with loads of people saying OP should deliberately wait to tell her family I still don't get what's so bad about this scenario. I'd have been delighted to hear good news like that on my wedding day.

I certainly wouldn't think my brother was "dense" for telling me.

TwinklySquid · 04/06/2025 22:55

Just say you are on antibotics so can’t drink and then tell everyone around 12 weeks

Dawnb19 · 04/06/2025 23:33

How close are you with the bride? If your close I'd send her a text and see what she thinks as some people can get funny about others sharing new on the run up to their wedding. It would be a lot better telling people now instead of them guessing at the wedding.

Or you could tell everyone your driving or on antibiotics for a UTI. I find if you use UTI as a excuse people are embarrassed to question you. 😂 That the worst thing about small weddings/gatherings, it hard to hide if your not drinking while you normally would and people always assumed your pregnant when you don't drink.

eastegg · 05/06/2025 00:06

MummoMa · 03/06/2025 09:36

I never did. I told people straight away. I didn't feel the need to hide any pregnancy losses though and was comfortable sharing if that happened, so felt no need to wait.

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How you’d feel about sharing pregnancy loss is a bit difficult to predict ahead of time though isn’t it? Unless you had already experienced loss I suppose, and even then you may change your mind.

I think it would be a very rare woman who would be comfortable with Auntie Bess’s friend from church, or other randoms, coming up to them and congratulating them on the pregnancy, because Auntie Bess had told them, just after they’d lost the baby which aforementioned random didn’t know about. Except now they do.

I think this is the prime reason for waiting; to exercise some control over how to manage grief and loss when you don’t really know how it will feel. I personally think it’s an excellent reason.

Each to their own though.

Re OP, the benefits of waiting clearly outweigh the benefits of telling, imho.

MummoMa · 05/06/2025 00:16

eastegg · 05/06/2025 00:06

How you’d feel about sharing pregnancy loss is a bit difficult to predict ahead of time though isn’t it? Unless you had already experienced loss I suppose, and even then you may change your mind.

I think it would be a very rare woman who would be comfortable with Auntie Bess’s friend from church, or other randoms, coming up to them and congratulating them on the pregnancy, because Auntie Bess had told them, just after they’d lost the baby which aforementioned random didn’t know about. Except now they do.

I think this is the prime reason for waiting; to exercise some control over how to manage grief and loss when you don’t really know how it will feel. I personally think it’s an excellent reason.

Each to their own though.

Re OP, the benefits of waiting clearly outweigh the benefits of telling, imho.

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Like you say, to each their own.

I never experienced pregnancy loss but felt very strongly that I would want the existence, however brief, of my child known. I thought I would lose one and shared that with people while it was happening. I've always been very open about this sort of thing.

I know others are different and they have to do what is right for them. People would have known it's not my own style to not share as soon as there are two lines on the test though.

When I have experienced close non-pregnancy loss I was very free talking about it, so even if I hadn't told people I was pregnant, I'd probably have told them I'd lost a baby.

GrandTheftWalrus · 05/06/2025 00:21

I know someone who announced the 1st grandchild the day before her husbands sisters wedding. Did not go down well.

Harry12345 · 05/06/2025 01:05

GrandTheftWalrus · 05/06/2025 00:21

I know someone who announced the 1st grandchild the day before her husbands sisters wedding. Did not go down well.

How in any way would this impact their wedding?

T1Dmama · 05/06/2025 01:07

Congrats.
but as others have said keep it quiet till your brothers wedding is over and done with. MI had to tell my family at 4 weeks because I was being sick 12 times a day… but I’d have loved to have been able to keep it quiet and enjoy it privately for longer.

woolshop · 05/06/2025 01:11

MummoMa · 03/06/2025 09:36

I never did. I told people straight away. I didn't feel the need to hide any pregnancy losses though and was comfortable sharing if that happened, so felt no need to wait.

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This. I’m a midwife of 40 years and feel that having to suffer a miscarriage alone, because no one knew, is the reason a lot of women don’t get over the loss for a long time, if ever.
Also the first 12 weeks is often when you feel the worse with nausea and fatigue and might like some support and sympath.
I can’t believe people get offended when the announcement is 2 weeks before the wedding.
Joy is not limited.

T1Dmama · 05/06/2025 01:12

Harry12345 · 05/06/2025 01:05

How in any way would this impact their wedding?

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Because everyone would be congratulating the pregnant party and the soon to be grandparents etc… people then like to talk about their pregnancies grandchildren etc…. The bride would probably rather people talk about how lovely her dress/hair/the food etc at the wedding she planned and paid for over the past year or so.