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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel totally betrayed by my Maid of Honour

429 replies

FromMissToMrs · 03/06/2025 08:21

Have name changed for this because don't want this linked to me in real life.

Wedding situation that I don't know how to handle at all.

Firstly would like to start with saying I got married on Saturday & had the most amazing day. My husband & I felt so lucky, we had so much fun & our friends & family were great so we aren't going to let this situation take away from that but we aren't sure how to handle the situation going forward either.

So here's my AIBU to feel completely let down & hurt by my MOH.

She was distant the whole day, didn't have formal photos with her because I couldn't find her, she didn't dance with me, she didn't chat to any other guests, she wore the same shoes as me, didn't pick any of the ones I'd suggested - now all these things were annoying but I could cope however the two bigger things are

  1. Her & her partner left really early
  2. They snuck up to the bridal suite & had sex during the reception - not in the bedroom thankfully but in another part of the suite.

It's left a horrible feeling about our friendship & I feel like she's acted completely inappropriately. Neither her or her partner drink, so no blaming alcohol for her behaviour.

I feel so blessed to have had an amazing day & I'm excited to spend a life with my husband. Off on our honeymoon shortly & just wanted to vent about this first so I don't think about it at all going forward.

She hasn't been in touch with me since the day, didn't speak to my husband at all on the day, so my current plan is to just not contact her at all & see how I feel when she next messages me. Not sure if that's right or not.

OP posts:
Damnloginpopup · 08/06/2025 08:49

FromMissToMrs · 03/06/2025 09:36

@WitchesofPainswick The bridal suite was specifically being used by two members of my family that are older & are neurodiverse, my MOH knew that, it wasn't a free for all.

The only other people to go up during the day were myself & husband go use our bathroom as needed & my friend who had done my make up just to grab something from her make up bags.

Also very much not on my honeymoon, leaving this evening, literally said I just wanted to get this off my chest now because I have no intention of dwelling on it whilst I'm away.

I suspect this is all very much influenced by the partner & I will be here if she needs me down the line but I can't do much atm.

Yeah. It's the new partner.

Enjoy your honeymoon!

SaveAndEarnMoreMoney · 08/06/2025 13:52

catmum44 · 07/06/2025 10:04

Time for chat and demand for honesty.
Without the chat, your feelings will simmer. And so may hers. We only have your perspective - what's hers? Has she got things going on that you don't know about? Is she happy in her relationship?
Be prepared to listen, and potentially think about where the relationship with her is going. Especially if it turns out to be purely a case of bitterness/jealousy.

I think whatever the MOH’s situation is, the way she behaved of her supposed friend’s big day is completely unacceptable! I can’t think of any reason that would justify her behaviour. She was unnecessarily rude and bang out of order!

BluesBird19764 · 08/06/2025 17:41

Can never understand why people don’t reach out and ask what is going on. Those suggesting going NC, or don’t message first etc that’s ridiculous. You are grown women, ring her and ask what’s up.

Nevertea · 08/06/2025 17:42

BluesBird19764 · 08/06/2025 17:41

Can never understand why people don’t reach out and ask what is going on. Those suggesting going NC, or don’t message first etc that’s ridiculous. You are grown women, ring her and ask what’s up.

Because they don’t have friends like you and I do ie people they genuinely care about

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