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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel sad after rejection from school Mum

339 replies

Cafeshops · 03/06/2025 00:30

DS is finishing Year 1 in school, he is best friends with another little boy since reception. Despite efforts the boys mother has shown no interest in playdates etc, ive invited her to the park twice and also to a local child disco. Her responses are usually friendly but just stating she's busy.
That's all fine, I know people have busy lifes but ive noticed recently she's ignoring me at events and almost being rude. Ive passed her a few times on school drop off and she usually avoids eye contact, we were recently at a kids sports event our kids were attending and she walked round behind the pitch to sit on the opposite side from me, no hello or acknowledgement. I did go over and say a quick hello, she was cordial but I wouldn't say friendly. Another school event she basically walked past me and sat with another group and I noticed she came over to a few people to chat briefly during the event but ignored me, despite me sitting not very far from others she spoke with. My DS is quite keen on this other boy and they would be close in school according to the teacher.
AIBU to feel sad about this? Im not sure what else I can do without coming across as full on as she clearly doesn't want even a friendly relationship with me despite seeming friendly with lots of other school mums from the class.

OP posts:
dh280125 · 05/06/2025 12:10

You can't make people be friends with you. Let it go.

Braygirlnow · 06/06/2025 15:46

Cafeshops · 03/06/2025 00:30

DS is finishing Year 1 in school, he is best friends with another little boy since reception. Despite efforts the boys mother has shown no interest in playdates etc, ive invited her to the park twice and also to a local child disco. Her responses are usually friendly but just stating she's busy.
That's all fine, I know people have busy lifes but ive noticed recently she's ignoring me at events and almost being rude. Ive passed her a few times on school drop off and she usually avoids eye contact, we were recently at a kids sports event our kids were attending and she walked round behind the pitch to sit on the opposite side from me, no hello or acknowledgement. I did go over and say a quick hello, she was cordial but I wouldn't say friendly. Another school event she basically walked past me and sat with another group and I noticed she came over to a few people to chat briefly during the event but ignored me, despite me sitting not very far from others she spoke with. My DS is quite keen on this other boy and they would be close in school according to the teacher.
AIBU to feel sad about this? Im not sure what else I can do without coming across as full on as she clearly doesn't want even a friendly relationship with me despite seeming friendly with lots of other school mums from the class.

You invited her to park twice, and childs disco, she has said no, I'm the same to be honest, if mums at school gate are chatting fine, I'll join in talk about weather, kids and if anythings happening with the class, but if one of them asked me to go to the park or "play date" no! It's just not me, I have a group of friends and I'm not that interested in acquiring more, so maybe it's just this and as you've tryed few times it's probably that she feels uncomfortable incase you ask again. Don't take it personally.

Elfie111 · 07/06/2025 18:30

Cafeshops · 03/06/2025 00:30

DS is finishing Year 1 in school, he is best friends with another little boy since reception. Despite efforts the boys mother has shown no interest in playdates etc, ive invited her to the park twice and also to a local child disco. Her responses are usually friendly but just stating she's busy.
That's all fine, I know people have busy lifes but ive noticed recently she's ignoring me at events and almost being rude. Ive passed her a few times on school drop off and she usually avoids eye contact, we were recently at a kids sports event our kids were attending and she walked round behind the pitch to sit on the opposite side from me, no hello or acknowledgement. I did go over and say a quick hello, she was cordial but I wouldn't say friendly. Another school event she basically walked past me and sat with another group and I noticed she came over to a few people to chat briefly during the event but ignored me, despite me sitting not very far from others she spoke with. My DS is quite keen on this other boy and they would be close in school according to the teacher.
AIBU to feel sad about this? Im not sure what else I can do without coming across as full on as she clearly doesn't want even a friendly relationship with me despite seeming friendly with lots of other school mums from the class.

Some people really are just arseholes. There’s absolutely no reason for her to be a dick to you meanwhile being nice to everyone around her. Unfortunately this is what some people are like and the school playground can bring out the worst in some people.

She has done you a favour. You wouldn’t really want to spend time with someone who is so socially lacking that they can’t even pretend to be nice. Utterly weird. It’s not you, it’s her.

Sending lots of love ♥️

InterestedDad37 · 07/06/2025 18:33

Be yourself and shine 🌞

Tanjamaltija · 07/06/2025 21:20

Just because your children are friends, it does not mean that she would want to be your friend.

Missj25 · 07/06/2025 21:35

Tanjamaltija · 07/06/2025 21:20

Just because your children are friends, it does not mean that she would want to be your friend.

It’s not that , it’s the fact the kids are friends , but she won’t leave them play together outside of school !
She’s not being nice & is actually rude !

NJC7 · 07/06/2025 23:08

I’d bet money on her son not actually liking your son. And quite possibly having told his mum that.

Jenkibubble · 08/06/2025 08:34

Cafeshops · 03/06/2025 00:30

DS is finishing Year 1 in school, he is best friends with another little boy since reception. Despite efforts the boys mother has shown no interest in playdates etc, ive invited her to the park twice and also to a local child disco. Her responses are usually friendly but just stating she's busy.
That's all fine, I know people have busy lifes but ive noticed recently she's ignoring me at events and almost being rude. Ive passed her a few times on school drop off and she usually avoids eye contact, we were recently at a kids sports event our kids were attending and she walked round behind the pitch to sit on the opposite side from me, no hello or acknowledgement. I did go over and say a quick hello, she was cordial but I wouldn't say friendly. Another school event she basically walked past me and sat with another group and I noticed she came over to a few people to chat briefly during the event but ignored me, despite me sitting not very far from others she spoke with. My DS is quite keen on this other boy and they would be close in school according to the teacher.
AIBU to feel sad about this? Im not sure what else I can do without coming across as full on as she clearly doesn't want even a friendly relationship with me despite seeming friendly with lots of other school mums from the class.

Sorry to hear this -
sadly , playgrounds / school mums can be cliquey / snobby

She sounds like one of these !

Her loss

Sad for your LO I know but you’ve tried !

Skybluepinky · 08/06/2025 10:53

People have a life away from school mummy mafia and the last thing they want is to meet up out of school. Leave her alone.

Tanjamaltija · 08/06/2025 12:29

@Missj25 - I had a neighbour who wanted my children to go and play with hers, but she didn't allow them to come here, even after mine went twice. I discovered that she was asking them personal questions about my work, whether I cook 'real' meals, and so on, when I asked them how they spent their time ['just reading'], and she actually told me she 'does not allow' her children to go to people's houses. This has nothing to do with your story, I know, but I wrote it to illustrate how people are weird and selfish and nosy. You are lucky to be shot of her.

mondaytosunday · 08/06/2025 12:58

Why does she have to be with her child? Can she not just drop her child off? She doesn’t need to be your friend. I didn’t know half my kids’ friends’ parents beyond a brief hello.

EvieBB · 08/06/2025 19:29

Or maybe if you've been rejected yourself (after smiling, being chatty) then you decide to no longer make an effort....that doesn't make you bitchy...it's about self-preservation

EmeraldShamrock000 · 08/06/2025 19:34

Treat her in the same manner.
There is no reason for her to be rude.

Oldwmn · 09/06/2025 10:41

Cafeshops · 03/06/2025 00:30

DS is finishing Year 1 in school, he is best friends with another little boy since reception. Despite efforts the boys mother has shown no interest in playdates etc, ive invited her to the park twice and also to a local child disco. Her responses are usually friendly but just stating she's busy.
That's all fine, I know people have busy lifes but ive noticed recently she's ignoring me at events and almost being rude. Ive passed her a few times on school drop off and she usually avoids eye contact, we were recently at a kids sports event our kids were attending and she walked round behind the pitch to sit on the opposite side from me, no hello or acknowledgement. I did go over and say a quick hello, she was cordial but I wouldn't say friendly. Another school event she basically walked past me and sat with another group and I noticed she came over to a few people to chat briefly during the event but ignored me, despite me sitting not very far from others she spoke with. My DS is quite keen on this other boy and they would be close in school according to the teacher.
AIBU to feel sad about this? Im not sure what else I can do without coming across as full on as she clearly doesn't want even a friendly relationship with me despite seeming friendly with lots of other school mums from the class.

For whatever reason, she doesn't want to be your friend. Forget it. You may very well find that you have dodged a bullet (I speak from experience!).

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