To say it’s stressful havivg a beautiful daughter?

[TheBlueUniform]

That’s it really. The attention they will draw and the fact they’ll have to grow up faster than they perhaps would. Men (including those that think that they have a right to chat up 16 year olds) will try it on and it makes me feel sick. DD is only 16 (though will be 17 in 4 months) but i already see men in their late 20’s:30’s leering at her and I get so mad and want to shout ‘she’s a child you creepy pervs’ but I don’t think anyone would care or react.

She isn’t a young child but she equally isn’t an adult yet and all the weirdos and creeps about make me feel so uneasy.

How do handle it if you’re in the same situation? I want to punch them all 😂

Ill ask my mum how she's coped 😊

I want to punch them all too. Makes me feel sick.

l think they leer at everyone though not just the beautiful. Mines 18 and very shy and quiet.

Surely all parents feel like this towards their daughters? Not just beautiful ones? We’re all biased to our kids op.

You teach them how to deal with unwanted attention. She’s nearly 17 so almost a legal adult. At 16, I was pretty much doing what I was doing as an adult. Drinking, smoking, going out, having sex. You may not want to hear this but most friends and people were also doing the same.

As a mother she’s always going to be your baby and you don’t want her to grow up and definitely don’t want men perving on her, but it’s unrealistic to think it wont happen. We can’t control what others do, but we can control how we react.

I asked my mum and she said she would ask her mum 😂

I’m sure your daughter is lovely, but a lot of men just leer at any female from about aged 13, regardless. Sick bastards.

I wasn't beautiful, in fact I was very plain and ordinary, but I had really large breasts. From the age of 14 I had a huge amount of unwanted male attention including from men in their 30s and 40s.

My dd told me that men stare at her and her friend when out. Luckily they have a group of lad mates who call this out. I hope this means that the next generation will be better.

As pp said you have to teach your dd how to deal with these situations sadly.

You find something to worry about no matter what your child is like. Every child is unique in some way that'll make the world harder (and also better). If it wasn't this you'd focus on something else. Try and just enjoy your child for who she is.

OP, that's disgusting. Pricks.

In my family my mum and aunt had the opposite problem - their mother was beautiful. It infuriated them as teenagers, having men leering and falling all over their mother, and if they said anything they were told they were jealous by the sleaze bag - as if. I can remember men flirting with her when I was a child and she was in her 60s then.

I don't know how I'd handle men treating a girl like they do your DD. I really don't. My son is quite beautiful - I've been told by several doctors, unprompted, his facial symmetry is really unusual - women tell him that he's goregous and he gets very shy (he's 12). But it's totally different because women don't leer at him.

Once on a tram in Melbourne a well known AFL footballer who was still at school (they did that 20+ years ago), got on a tram in his school uniform. He was 17. He was standing in the centre alise in sports shorts, and had a very muscular body. Like me, most of the women on board glanced at him, then studiously looked out the window. When he got off, a woman said loudly "Oh, thank god." And a tram full of strangers giggled, because we knew how she felt. He was gorgeous but he should not be stared at because he was a teen.

I suppose I was reasonable looking when I was younger but certainly not beautiful and I got leered at all the time. Some men are just arseholes.

I've got huge boobs which always get stared at. I'm 58 and old enough to be these guy's mother, men are grim.

At 16 she isn't strictly a child though( yes of course technically she is) and in 2 years is likely to be at university living away from you and your protection. She needs to learn how to deal with unwanted attention which she is bound to get.
Teach her to have the guts to tell men to fuck off if necessary.
My daughter ( now mid 30s)was and is beautiful( strange as none of the rest of my family are) and started to attract male attention at around 14/15. At 16 she was going to clubs and bars, would always get in free and never bought a drink apparently.
Unfortunately due to all the male attention, including older men in their 20s, she thought her beauty was the most important thing about herself and started to rely on getting that attention to boost her self esteem, rather than concentrating on her personality and abilities, and as a result became a rather shallow person obsessed by her appearance . She also found it hard to distinguish between genuine men compared to those who wanted her as a trophy on their arm.
As she is now mid 30s I can see the small inevitable early signs of ageing, although she is still very beautiful, and am sure she's had Botox, but she denies it( probably because she knows I would disapprove). I just hope she doesn't have more cosmetic work and end up with a face full of fillers in an attempt to try to get back what she thinks was her earlier perfection.

Encourage her to grow into a confident young woman with a sense of her own worth and she'll be fine.

It's great to be beautiful but men often feel threatened and want to bring a beautiful girl down a peg or two, however no need to worry her about that now, she'll learn. Hopefully she will be choosey and want a fella with equal confidence.

Weirdos and creeps are just as likely, if not more so, to prey on a plain girl than a pretty one. They look for vulnerabilities.

Not all men who notice a girl's looks are creepy, it's normal. Women do it too.

*Not all men who notice a girl's looks are creepy, it's normal. Women do it too./

🙄 There is a huge difference between noticing and leering and generally being a perv. Women don’t really act like that.

Not to be rude to anyone.. but I'd take that over having an "unattractive" (horrible word, but still) daughter. Life and men are unfair, especially for women. The awful truth is that beautiful women have a huge advantage over ugly women in many aspects of life. Yes there are problems and you've listed the biggest one. But still, on balance, the awful society we live in gives these attractive girls a huge advantage over lesser looking girls.

You can be 'attractive', 'ugly', slim, fat, tall, short, female, male, anywhere in between or any combination of the above and there will always be someone willing to behave awfully towards you.

What's important is being either confident or capable enough to deal with those situations when they arise.

I actively panic about this often, but my situation is my daughter has complex disabilities resulting in being mentally a toddler but appearing 'normal' she's beautiful, like stunning, chocolate hair to her waist, slightly olive skin and big brown eyes you can get lost in, she's only just turned 9 and I've sat on the floor and cried on the floor in my shower recently as her body is starting to change she's extra vulnerable because she's 100% dependent for all personal needs , I have to put my trust in so many people to help her and she would not be able to tell me or understand that someone could hurt her intentionally.

It’s stressful having a child these days full
stop.

I think the majority of men back off when you speak to them, or challenge their behaviour. Once they realise you are a real life person, with a personality and a brain, when you stare at them back- they don’t know what to do. The problem is having the confidence to do it, or if you are very young understanding why it’s happening. DD is pretty, she’s had people (men and women all ages) comment on her appearance. She’s very shy, shrinks away. Advocate for your child, don’t let people touch their face/hair. I don’t know why people think this is ok!
Ensure the child knows beauty fades, personality and education is far more important.

I hate this attitude, I really do. It reeks of the worldview of someone who never got over not being one the the 'pretty' girls at school. Which, unless you're in the tiny minority of people pursuing a career where certain 'looks' are the only thing that matters, is the last time they did.

People are attracted to all sorts. And while there may still be situations in life where doors are 'opened' for the 'conventionally' attractive, the real winners among us get by via kicking them down 💪

I agree with you there but what I meant is, not every look is a leer. It's easy to misinterpret is all, especially if you are concerned about your child.

I'm sure the girl will be fine.

I agree that it is horrible.. but it's also the truth. We can fight against it, but just like the reality of short vs tall men, rich vs poor kids etc. life is unfair in so many horrible ways.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't try and fight against it, but I also think it needs to be pointed out to mum's like the op - that when they are worrying about their pretty daughter, actually on balance their daughter is in a lucky and privileged position amoing girls.

Sorry you had to deal with this. I know girls like you, that had large breasts at a young age and this happened to them. Disgusting behaviour. I on the other hand had very small breasts and it still happened to me. But can imagine you probably experienced this at a much younger age 😔

Glad your dd has male friends that call this behaviour out. That’s what all men should be doing but sadly is not the case.

Your daughter doesn’t need your approval to what she does to her body. Maybe don’t be so judgemental and call her shallow.

U described me there. The perverts I had, would be babysitting and dads trying to pull covers back, another trying to get my clothes off. My dad’s pals all staring. I’m literally 13 years old. I managed to get out of the situations but hindsight, how lucky was I! Bunch of twisted fucks. Only scared I grassed on them. I don’t hate men I have a loving husband. I also now have a 13 year old and am shitting my pants thinking about how she will fare against the pervs and creeps. I hate to say it but it’s impossible to stop. Even jail doesn’t deter these sick fucks.