To say it’s stressful havivg a beautiful daughter?

[TheBlueUniform]

That’s it really. The attention they will draw and the fact they’ll have to grow up faster than they perhaps would. Men (including those that think that they have a right to chat up 16 year olds) will try it on and it makes me feel sick. DD is only 16 (though will be 17 in 4 months) but i already see men in their late 20’s:30’s leering at her and I get so mad and want to shout ‘she’s a child you creepy pervs’ but I don’t think anyone would care or react.

She isn’t a young child but she equally isn’t an adult yet and all the weirdos and creeps about make me feel so uneasy.

How do handle it if you’re in the same situation? I want to punch them all 😂

Again I don't think this is related to looks, I was an average or less attractive than average child and teenager and had very similar incidents with dad's of children I babysat, with met outside shops or leisure centres when leaving a swimming pool with friends, definitely some creepy old guys etc. this is encountering gross men who see teenagers as attractive mainly for their age.

Beauty comes in many forms.
All daughters are beautiful.
No girl or woman should have to accept men leering at her.

Yes, exactly that, I don't hate men at all, I have a wonderful husband of 18 years, a gorgeous 7 yr old son and a sweet, friendly, sociable almost 4 yr old daughter. I worry for her not because I'm worried she'll be gorgeous (although she is the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen as my son is the most gorgeous boy) but because the world is full of mysogyny. And then I worry about my son because despite him being a wonderful boy with as many girls for friends as boys, who love football and science fiction and gaming and rainbows and mermaids and unicorns, I worry how he'll be effected by the andew rates of the world, by the disenfranchisement of boys. I'll just have to do my best as time goes on.

I tended to find shouting she's a child, peado worked quite well

But this is universal. Even the “plain, ugly ones” get perved on by men. If your daughter is hanging round rich people, I’d be asking her why is hanging out with rich people that want her in their set. What is she doing for them and in your words with all that entails.. Sleeping with them? Taking drugs? They sound like predators. Shame on you for not protecting her.

Because parents are biased, all parents think their child is beautiful.

Surely anyone can see some people are more attractive than others. When you have one child who is conventionally attractive people comment on it all the time. I have 3 DC, of course as their mother, I think they are all beautiful but I can also see that one is more so than the others. That’s a fact. Some women on here are weird about that, and I find it odd.

To be fair, I am often really shocked when I find out the age of some teen girls, they look so much older than their years!

Of course they shouldn’t and I agree that all women are subjected to this awful male behaviour at some points. Most of us have one friend who is conventionally very attractive and in my experience they were subjected to this behaviour much more. A night out would lead to many men trying it on, making comments, physically grabbing her. Yes many women are subjected to it, but some more so than others.

I find it odd that you have a rating of how 'beautiful' other people's children are.

I haven’t read the full thread. Dd is really lovely. I haven’t noticed leering etc but she has been very independent since about year 8 so don’t get a lot of opportunity.

Based on my experience, dd did 3 years of Outdoor Ed which has left her knowing she is capable, strong physically, mentally and emotionally, resilient and useful. She won a leadership position at school but not one of the shouty, in your face ones. She has also had a long term boyfriend who also did Outdoor Ed so they are all capable together. Dd got a job in a very busy tourist market so has had to stay strong, resilient and capable.

All this means her ego is more than a match for anyone in the best way.

I think all my friends are attractive women.

Don’t be ridiculous. Are we saying on here then that everyone is the same, no-one is more attractive than others? As that’s pretty odd. In the real world people comment on this kind of thing every day.

Not sure how you've managed to get from 'everyone is attractive' to 'everyone is the same'. Am I to assume you're measuring attractiveness based on what's seen as traditionally appealing to men? Haven't we moved past that?
Also, no need for the passive aggressive 'in the real world'.

I feel sorry for your other less attractive children to have a mother like you.

And? What does that matter if they have started puberty early?

I don't and I think that's a little unfair.

My son is 16. One of the girls in his maths class is possibly the most beautiful child I have ever seen. Tall, slim, naturally glossy, perfect bone structure, wide eyes and wavy red hair. She is show-stoppingly beautiful and it's impossible to miss.

So because she’s beautiful she should expect to get abused?

Her OWN children

Her general tone suggests it's about more than just her own children imho.

I posted similar a few years ago about my then 13 year daughter going to a big scout camp with hundreds of other people where they'd have minimal adult supervision. She looks a lot older and was already getting unwanted attention. I was torn to absolute shreds. Apparently we're not allowed to recognise that our children are not average looking.

It's awful isnt it? No one should have to be having talks with young girls/women about what to do when men can't behave themselves.

My husband thought I was over-reacting until he saw it himself (she's now 15).

It seems that the more we empower ourselves to not put up with this crap, the more blatant it becomes.

My daughter was stared at from 8 years old and walking down the street with her from 11 years old has made me utterly despair. Deeply troubling and sickening. I have had many cross words with men who not only stare but think it’s okay to say things to her.

Wouldnt admit that on a public forum 🤢

👀

So, she's aesthetically attractive, based on societal standards? So what? Attractiveness comes in many forms.
I say this as someone who was told I was above average in terms of attractiveness (using that or similar words) but I hated it. Everyone is attractive in their own way, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leer.