To say it’s stressful havivg a beautiful daughter?

[TheBlueUniform]

That’s it really. The attention they will draw and the fact they’ll have to grow up faster than they perhaps would. Men (including those that think that they have a right to chat up 16 year olds) will try it on and it makes me feel sick. DD is only 16 (though will be 17 in 4 months) but i already see men in their late 20’s:30’s leering at her and I get so mad and want to shout ‘she’s a child you creepy pervs’ but I don’t think anyone would care or react.

She isn’t a young child but she equally isn’t an adult yet and all the weirdos and creeps about make me feel so uneasy.

How do handle it if you’re in the same situation? I want to punch them all 😂

What is 'average looking'?

I think most girls and women experience this unfortunately.

Being beautiful is a positive, not something to wring your hands over. Some people really can turn anything into a negative!

Yes, my nigh on 15 year old is very conventionally attractive, but is also very sporty and fit and looks older. Spends a lot of time training, often in small shorts etc. I've seen the looks she gets on the ferries, service stations etc as we travel from places to place. Luckily she is quite oblivious at the moment.

But you thought she was not average looking. Look at the comments from the multiple women on this thread that said in their words plain yet still got unwanted attention. Your child isn’t special, she’s female, that’s all men care about. Men rape babies and women in their 90s. It’s not about appearance.

I know so many girls who gave up or reduced sport activities, at least in part due to feeling judged on their looks. I hope your daughter can continue doing what she loves, and if she does become aware of jealous or leering looks etc from others that you can remind her both how amazing she is and how she is allowed to call out anything she's not comfortable with.

I've been having age appropriate 'red flag' talks with dd and ds since a young age.

Now dd is 13 we have already been through a lot about what is creepy vs respectful behaviour, and that sadly some men are predatory towards children/teenagers.

I felt it was important that she knew it could happen, and that it absolutely is not OK behaviour and those sorts of men are to be avoided.

My mother did the same for me. And I'll never forget being 14 years old and watching her chase a grown man down the sea front after he licked his lips at me and tried to rub past me in the amusements. She may have been 5' 4" but she was ferocious.

Her tactic did seem to work though. Loudly shouting about what the men were doing, and that they were a pedophile, so everyone in the vicinity turned to look. They'd either swear but leave quickly, or startle like a frightened chicken.

And from much younger.

The men who leer at beautiful teens are the same men who let less conventionally attractive teens know that they are an ugly bitch/fat cow/insert other misogynistic slur here. Few women/girls escape the attentions of these men.

It's a concern for all parents. In an ideal world men wouldn't feel the need to share their opinion on how attractive they find someone.

I'm not saying they have.

My point is that some people look like super models and some don't. Pretending not to be able to spot the difference is disingenuous.

This place is wild. People will literally pick at anything and argue black is white. In the world of mumsnet everyone is the same attraction wise.

Oh calm down it's nothing to do with puberty. I started puberty early, i didn't look 25. It's the clothes, hair and makeup. My 13 year old niece looks about 18!

A friends teenage daughter would loudly shout “Paedo” at any older men who leered at her. Not sure I’d want my daughter to do the same but it did seem to work.

Grown women telling a 12 year old that he's gorgeous!

That's sickening behaviour. Imaging if a group of men said that about your 12 year old daughter.

I think it's just a universal female experience really. And awful.

I've two DDs, 14 and 15.
My eldest is feisty and has called men out from about the age of 13. It rightly gives her the rage.

Youngest is quite shy, much more like me at that age, and has let her sister deal with it or ignores.

It's not happened when we've been together, but I get the rage at the drop of a hat (thanks perimenopause) so would be quite happy to set a pervert straight.

I have no daughters but want to shout if I see a grown man "checking out" a teenager (last week saw 30yo who appeared to be walking with his wife oggle a teenager in a dress which was fairly modest

Neither would women, unless it's a genuinely thought out compliment.

Again, nobody said that everyone is the same.

Men will leer whether they’re your standard of beauty or not. That’s its own revolting issue.

I really dislike that you are separating out your daughter as being someone exceptional. Such beauty! so bloody arrogant, vapid and vain.

Start teaching her where her value lies. Hint: It’s not in her beauty.

Tell your other two ugly daughters how you feel. I’m sure they would appreciate your honesty. Since you’re so honest on here. Have you told them that?

I actually got sooo much attention from men (men. Not boys my age!) in my sort of akward duckling face when I was about 14? Maybe (probably?) even younger.

really creepy. I don’t think it was about beauty (or maybe I was just completely irresistible). I suspect it was about seeming defenceless? Attainable? Easily frightened?

ah. And I had big boobs. From the age of about 11/12. that may have been a factor as well.

my mum tried. She tried to keep me safe but her gruesome descriptions of what could happen to me left its mark as well. And not in a good way.

Is it? Women have done that since he was a baby, and all through his childhood years. Maybe I should think about it different now he's entering his teens - I have asked him and he just shrugs and says he doesn't see why he's 'cute'. It's usually other mums and occasionally strangers, and medical staff who I think are trying to take his mind off whatever is happening.

So it’s the 13 year olds fault when she gets raped? Okay. We all know where you stand on this debate.

I hated it and was shocked at how many men are indeed perverted. They both told me they had men shouting at them while they were on the way to school for example.

My daughters are 19 and 21 now so a. the leering is less (though not when we were on holiday last year - men in their 40s gawping at my then 18 year old while boys her own age were just normal), b. they are able to look after themselves more and c. I feel less of the sick revulsion I felt when they were children and this happened.

I don’t have any other daughters. Saying that one of your DC is conventionally more attractive than others is not saying your other DC are ugly. They are far from ugly. This place is really something. People here suggesting no-one is more attractive than others is ridiculous, as another poster said, to pretend you don’t notice some people are more attractive than others is disingenuous. It’s just all part of the mumsnet pile on, and quite frankly, ridiculous.

Over and out, I think some people here need to get themselves a hobby instead of picking holes and twisting words to try and make people feel / look bad. It’s like school ground bullying and you all need to quit doing it as it makes this place really toxic and nasty. Some people / children are more attractive than others. We all know it.

Yes. It’s pedo behaviour to say a child is beautiful. I’m in a clinical role and have to adhere to NMC standards, and I would never call a child or anyone beautiful. Completely inappropriate and unprofessional. Shane on you for allowing this.