To say it’s stressful havivg a beautiful daughter?

[TheBlueUniform]

That’s it really. The attention they will draw and the fact they’ll have to grow up faster than they perhaps would. Men (including those that think that they have a right to chat up 16 year olds) will try it on and it makes me feel sick. DD is only 16 (though will be 17 in 4 months) but i already see men in their late 20’s:30’s leering at her and I get so mad and want to shout ‘she’s a child you creepy pervs’ but I don’t think anyone would care or react.

She isn’t a young child but she equally isn’t an adult yet and all the weirdos and creeps about make me feel so uneasy.

How do handle it if you’re in the same situation? I want to punch them all 😂

I think you missed the point. She’s talking about her daughter being perved on my older men…

Women is the word you used. Op is talking about a 16 year old.

No, I think women (and men) know the difference between a glance and leering. Theres no misinterpretation.

This 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼looks fade and only take you so far. Personality and have brains last forever. Most people that think like this peak in high school 🤭

Call the behaviour out. They are pervs and it’s disgusting.

There is a 13 year gap between me and my youngest sister and I have regularly said things to men when we were younger.

Lucky and privileged to be perved on by men in their 30/40s? Men rape all ages from babies to women in their 90s. But because she’s beautiful let’s just ignore it and focus on her privilege.

Don't all parents think their daughter is beautiful?
Teach her life skills, including how to firmly say no.

I suggest self defence classes. Tell her if she feels uncomfortable in public, say she’s on a bus and a man is perving on her make a bloody fuss, call attention to it. I realised at very young age that I don’t care if I appear rude but if a man is making me feel uncomfortable then I’m going to get myself out of that situation and make a scene. As girls we are taught to be polite and silent, I say fuck that. Men will never learn we need to protect ourselves.

It's very difficult to "just enjoy your child for who she is" when she's being leered at right in front of your very eyes.

I am pretty average looking and was catcalled regularly by men when walking to secondary school. And I didn't even wear short skirts.

It's not your daughter's beauty that causes this behaviour. It's creepy men who see ALL women and girls as objects.

At what age does it end, I wonder?

I was standing on a busy touristy seaside road waiting for DH to pick me up, when a man said "drop your drawers and a tenner's yours"

I was aged 60 and had a cane..........

My DD is 17 and is beautiful, not just my assessment but others say all the time. Someone stopped me in a petrol station once to say how beautiful my DD was. Scariest time was when she went overseas to visit her dad who had a fairly high profile job. A sports fixture she attended was filmed and shown on social media. 400 comments, all from men, asking to marry her, commenting how beautiful she was, and some gross comments. She was 14.

I think this is the universal experience of women, beautiful or not.

All parents might think it, but some girls / women are more attractive than others and this can be difficult when they are becoming young women.

I'm sorry to say this but I think you need to be on your guard a lot earlier than 16 !

I was a tall, good looking child (40 years ago) and the first man who tried to persuade me to 'go for a walk with him in the sand dunes' on holiday, did it when I was 11. He was about 20.

Thankfully I had the sense to realise he wasn't right, and legged it but, yes, yanbu. Parents really do need to be on their guard, whether their children are good looking or not.

Six years after that, I had an issue with the father of one of my friends, who was giving me a lift home, so don't go trusting other parents either, just because they are parents.

Oh, and the boyfriend of one of my mum's friends, who pinned me against a kitchen cabinet when I was 12, and my mum had sent me round with a bag of veg from the garden.

It was a bundle of laughs. 🙄

Scary, gross 🙁

Yes all parents think their baby is beautiful but by 16 it’s hard to not to notice where your child compares to their peers.

Dd2 looks like a supermodel. She does model
actually and is scouted on numerous occasions so it’s not me with my mum goggles. Being with her is like being with a celebrity I can’t explain it unless you have lived it.

Yes there are negatives but let’s not pretend being beautiful isnt a massive advantage. Her life is already impossibly glamorous because the wealthy want beautiful funny stylish people in their set so she hangs out with them already with all that entails. She’s not like dd1 and all the other girls she’s just different. It’s hard to explain.

🫣

You need to teach her how to deal with creeps OP. When I was feeling really low and insecure I had so many predatory men circling around me that I was afraid to go outside. Once I got my strength back (thanks Effexor) and I started to exercise and weight lift to get stronger physically and felt I could look back straight in their eyes it was as as if I had a protection around me. She needs to feel strong and treat predators with disdain. Feeling physically strong can help mentally as well. Also you can rehearse with her at home how to react when she gets unwanted attention.

Good advice.
Thankyou...

Why do some women on here have a problem with some parents saying they have a child that is conventionally beautiful? In the real world, my friends will say your DD is beautiful and i’ll say thanks.

Many years ago I had a Saturday job in a supermarket in a precinct I stated at 8.30 am and would have to walk through the precinct past delivery fans delivering to baker shops , fruit & veg shops etc , many would perv at you and say things , I was around 15 at the time .The same sort of thing would happen when walking home from school or in town with mates . I wasn't beautiful , some men get all het up at 14 - 18 year olds . I should think almost every girl has had some form of harassment at that age. It's grim .

It’s been many, many years since I had to cope with this sort of thing. At my age I am invisible now! But I remember men calling out of cars, driving slowly alongside when walking on pavements in the dark, when I was around 14 a much older man told me he could see right into my ‘tits’ when on a bus. The only way I could deal with its was to ignore them. I wasn’t especially Beautiful but had long blond hair

i have never understood why men feel they have a right to do this and who also feel the girl likes it! To any man reading this; they don’t.

I'm a woman who falls somewhere between average and less attractive than average. I was getting chatted up my adult men at 13.

It has nothing to do with being beautiful and everything to do with disgusting men preying on young girls. It actually feels a bit victim Blamey to find your daughter's beauty worrying for this reason as if it's something in a girl that makes her vulnerable to this attention.

What you do is you instill good self esteem, you talk to her about the reality of age gap relationships, you give her interests and hobbies and other focuses and you hope for the best. Same as we all do without daughters.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼