Parents in law obsession with arriving safely

[Brentinger]

AIBU that it drives me mad that my parents in law have to ask us and call us every single time we travel to make sure if we arrive safely ?

If we give an eta and go over for whatever reasons (traffic, food stop, nappy change etc ) they will call us to check 10 minutes after our eta.

It comes from my MIL being anxious and over involved, which I get - but post kids, this habit is driving me crazy. We travel a decent amount by car and anything over 2 hours away automatically gets us our ETA checked .

Just tell her/them that you don't want to do this! Its simple really - just tell them. They will probably be relieved themselves deep down but may feel they should ask as it appears caring.

Something you think is an indication of anxiety. Opinions differ unless it’s clinical.

It’s not always about safety or anxiety. I send a more general “How was your journey?”
Meaning any hold ups on public transport,any obnoxious commuters (lol), any traffic jams, and so on. To be replied to at leisure or not at all. Not a biggy

Of course there are. But when we’re talking a task that takes 5 seconds that will make someone’s life a little happier, I just can’t see why you wouldn’t do it. I’d do it for a stranger, never mind a family member! Even if that family member is a MIL. Which I suspect is at the bottom of this…..

I like that. It’s asking without making someone feel they are being checked up on.

Hope you’re having fun, hope the traffic wasn’t bad, bet you can’t wait to sleep in your own bed lol all just open the conversion.

Rather than a you have to let me know once you’ve arrived and ill keep asking till you’ve told me you are there.

Concern is not anxiety. Stop medicalising normal human feeling.
Edit: I’ve said repeatedly that the OP’s MiL is OTT. That’s not the situation for the vast majority of people who do this.

Yes it had. It’s nonsense. Vague concern isn’t anxiety.

For me the reason I wouldn’t want to start an expectation of texting on arrival is that I know I’d forget a significant amount of the time. It’s not a time commitment issue. Especially now I have a baby. It’s just not part of my routine and there’s often things to do when you arrive somewhere that by the time they’re done, I’ve mentally moved on from my ‘just arrived’ mentality and so the text doesn’t get sent. If my family wanted me to message them out of concern, they’d have more concern because of my forgetfulness.

But anything like that requires a reply. Far more time consuming and intrusive than sending a “Home safe x”message.

Stuff that. I'm an adult and not on an electronic tag. I don't have to account to anyone for my movements.

Neither do I.

This is why I don't do it. By the time we get home, unload the car, see to the dogs, etc, I'm in "doing things" mode. When the kids were younger (both autistic), they liked to have routines when they got home from a trip that would help them feel settled back in. We often have to go check on the other animals after a trip too, if it's not too late.