To think MIL’s “accident” wasn’t an accident??

[AwayShow]

Right so probs gonna sound nuts but I need a sanity check

Had MIL round earlier for Sunday lunch (DH’s idea, obviously). She’s always a bit judgey — called our parenting “interesting” before we’d even served the roast. Kids were running about a bit, nothing wild, but she kept giving me That Look. You know the one.

Anyway I go to take the baby for a nap and leave her in the kitchen with DH. Come back ten mins later and half my bloody Denby set’s smashed on the floor. She says she “brushed it with her elbow” while reaching for the gravy boat?? But the plates were on a high shelf. You’d have to properly stretch to even touch them. Doesn’t add up.

This is the third thing she’s “accidentally” broken — last time it was our cordless hoover, time before she somehow deleted all our saved shows off the box. DH reckons she’s just clumsy but I dunno. Starting to feel personal.

I’m 6 months preg, knackered, and hormonal, so maybe I’m reading too much into it. But also like… she’s not stupid. She’s got this weird passive aggressive energy and I’m just DONE.

AIBU to think she did it on purpose?? Or do I need a lie down and a biscuit?

Pls be honest, just not brutal, I’m running on fumes here.

I think it sounds deliberate. They were on a higher shelf,so I can't see she just brushed against them
Denby plates are extremely durable so she must've smashed them bloody hard too
YANBU

You could be right OP.

I would get a security camera in the house and check the footage each time after a visit from her x

She did you a favour breaking Denby, awful boring stuff.

Agree.

And please, OP, don't ever leave her in sole charge of your children, or even in charge along with someone she has under her thumb.

Next time she’s over leave a nanny cam in the room with her.

Has she offered to replace them? I agree tell dh you are concerned she seems unstable/confused. If it is deliberate it might be enough to stop her and if it’s not then maybe you should be concerned about her.

So many threads recently where OP has posted something dramatic then disappeared.

I suspect your gut is right. Only you can know if there’s a malevolence simmering under the surface here, but from what you’ve said, it does sound like there’s something to what you say.

People who only have the alternative of low cupboards and can’t / don’t want to bend all the time?

Debby ware is too heavy to be accidentally brushed off.

This is called being nasty. Contemplate her dying in severe pain every time you have to see the bitch.

Wow, all the people who think she couldn’t possibly be doing it on purpose are clearly lucky enough to have never encountered a passive-aggressive control freak! I’m astounded by the number of people on MN who thinks nobody behaves irrationally or generally does weird shit, just because they have never experienced it personally.

Don't be a twat.

Is she horrible grandma off Friday Night Dinner?

Absolutely excellent way of addressing this issue!!

Ah it’s Horrible Grandma

Does she break things in her own home? Is she that clumsy there? Does she break things in shops? Other people's houses?

If no to the above - Trust your gut and send her an invoice for the Denby set.

If yes, or she kicks off - Book her a GP appointment on the grounds of medically incapable of making appropriate decisions, lost mental capacity, and at risk of harm. Then let's see if she's still clumsy ;).

If your husband protests, then tell him you will decide whether you will allow for a Mummies boy in your bed.

I remember a bit where she stole a shoe of her son's new wife... that sort of thing

Omg she sound like my mum I think it’s a narcissistic thing. I got a new build house & I think my mum was a bit jealous. She came round to visit me & asked if she could make grilled cheese(she brought stuff with her from the shop) she was taking it out the grill & all the cheese & tomatoes slid down the grill door. I have ocd & was a new oven she knew it would annoy me. I watched her do it & was no accident. She’s done loads of little things like that over the years & so have past narcissistic partners it’s just to wind you up they get a kick from it. If state anything she breaks etc from now on she has to pay for since it seems to be a habit or better yet don’t invite her round. I cut my mum off a few years ago best thing I did

My late stepfather used to do things like this. It’s expressing disapproval and contempt for your possessions and by extension, of you. Passive aggression.

Not as much as you think. My DM had a very difficult childhood and that resulted in a kind of personality disorder that would often manifest as highly inappropriate jealousy and occasional general obnoxious behaviour.

it is definitely a thing😂.

I say this as someone who loved her.

Honestly, I'm surprised anyone thinks this is a series of just unfortunate mistakes. Deleting all of your shows off the box is honestly a very specific thing to do; you don't accidentally select all of the shows, then go into the menu and select delete.

If she's done the Denby by accident, she will offer to replace them, because that's the natural reaction to having done something like that. I assume she hasn't offered.

She sounds like a right battle axe and I bet her son your partner will defend you to her and she won't like that so she'll do accidently clumsy not so accidental things monster in law comes to mind your husband must feel his mother's being off and doesn't want to cause ill feelings either end or that he can't see the terror going on so no it's. Not in your head you should better prepare for her arrival and put out things like beaker to make her a brew in just say it's safer for the kids if you use unbreakable things move your good things out harms way replace them with plastic flowers or cheap hoover you can put out for her when she's there Ballache but very worthit no malice intended play her at her own game while being so nice back shell get the message eventually stand yiur ground in yiyr home if yiur kids want to run wild in there house then join them because it's yiur house yiu are free to do what you wish I really hope this helps

How do we know she won't replace it?