To think MIL’s “accident” wasn’t an accident??

[AwayShow]

Right so probs gonna sound nuts but I need a sanity check

Had MIL round earlier for Sunday lunch (DH’s idea, obviously). She’s always a bit judgey — called our parenting “interesting” before we’d even served the roast. Kids were running about a bit, nothing wild, but she kept giving me That Look. You know the one.

Anyway I go to take the baby for a nap and leave her in the kitchen with DH. Come back ten mins later and half my bloody Denby set’s smashed on the floor. She says she “brushed it with her elbow” while reaching for the gravy boat?? But the plates were on a high shelf. You’d have to properly stretch to even touch them. Doesn’t add up.

This is the third thing she’s “accidentally” broken — last time it was our cordless hoover, time before she somehow deleted all our saved shows off the box. DH reckons she’s just clumsy but I dunno. Starting to feel personal.

I’m 6 months preg, knackered, and hormonal, so maybe I’m reading too much into it. But also like… she’s not stupid. She’s got this weird passive aggressive energy and I’m just DONE.

AIBU to think she did it on purpose?? Or do I need a lie down and a biscuit?

Pls be honest, just not brutal, I’m running on fumes here.

Definitely got it in for you, I would be fuming and getting your man to sort her out.
Some things are irreplaceable, the mother-in-law is not one of them.

Well you certainly have the issues with emotional regulation and reaction.

I don’t think OP is coming back.

She sounds like a total bastard. It's similar to the kind of shit my MIL would pull. They seem to go extra mental when DILs are preg - I'm pregnant at the mo and my MIL has cone out with some weird and annoying power grabs. She's like a frigging 66 yo toddler except that she really should have mastered impulse control by now.

I'd be getting indoor cameras for communal areas!

Also wondering how she reacted to smashing them? I'd be horrified and would offer to replace so I think her response would be telling.

I agree with the pp who suggested your dh direct her to a gp appointment and call it out supportively.

I could forgive the deleted shows, even the hoover a bit but how do you brush a full set of plates off a shelf in a cupboard with your elbow if you reaching for something below them?

be dancing on the ceiling at the time?

Get some plastic garden type things for when she comes. Think of reasons/excuses why she can't visit around meal times and if she pops in serve stale buns in plastic plates! Speak to FIL about replacing your dinner set.

Have you met some MOLs?

I am very, very, clumsy, but I break things within arm's reach, not off a high shelf. The breakages happen when you aren't in the room. Ask her, in front of your husband and hers, if she is going to replace the broken china.

Thank you, sorry I just saw your response. It's terrible if someone experienced abusive behaviour from birth. But OP wasn't having that as it wasn't her Mum.
I wasn't trying to disregard feelings of childhood abuse. I apologise if it sounded that way. X

Hi,

I didn’t think you were! All good 😊

Make a list of the breakages and tell her where she can get replacements

Because she knows it would cause upset.

If she isn’t asking for the list of breakages and telling you she was going to replace the breakages then it was deliberate

Oh m wondering how you didn’t hear the crash if half the set was broken. Is there more to this story?

Was she mortified? Sorry? Offered to pay for replacement? I think that info matters for the context. Also, lie down and have a biscuit anyway! You're entitled to!

She needs to replace the Denby.