To think MIL’s “accident” wasn’t an accident??

[AwayShow]

Right so probs gonna sound nuts but I need a sanity check

Had MIL round earlier for Sunday lunch (DH’s idea, obviously). She’s always a bit judgey — called our parenting “interesting” before we’d even served the roast. Kids were running about a bit, nothing wild, but she kept giving me That Look. You know the one.

Anyway I go to take the baby for a nap and leave her in the kitchen with DH. Come back ten mins later and half my bloody Denby set’s smashed on the floor. She says she “brushed it with her elbow” while reaching for the gravy boat?? But the plates were on a high shelf. You’d have to properly stretch to even touch them. Doesn’t add up.

This is the third thing she’s “accidentally” broken — last time it was our cordless hoover, time before she somehow deleted all our saved shows off the box. DH reckons she’s just clumsy but I dunno. Starting to feel personal.

I’m 6 months preg, knackered, and hormonal, so maybe I’m reading too much into it. But also like… she’s not stupid. She’s got this weird passive aggressive energy and I’m just DONE.

AIBU to think she did it on purpose?? Or do I need a lie down and a biscuit?

Pls be honest, just not brutal, I’m running on fumes here.

My grandmother was like this. She couldn't bear anyone having anything nice and would sabotage in outrageous ways but also very petty ways.

Mum knew it was her own mother that was breaking our toys because she used to break Mum's toys when she was a kid herself, or give them away. She cut my Mums guide uniform up because Mum used to love going to guides.

My sister, my brother's daughter and my sisters daughter all have the same trait. Hiding car keys, stealing one shoe, breaking jewellery, cutting shoe laces.

Absolutely fucking mad stuff.

Where did the crockery come from? Was it a wedding present or from your family? Has she gifted you a set that is still in a box?

Please tell me you confronted her? Before cutting her off, I mean.

Has she got ADHD? If she has it was an accident.

She does not have ADHD and what has that got to do with anything?. Its no excuse.

OPs MIL has a complete and utter hatred of the OP and this has manifested itself in such spiteful behaviour towards the OP. It was her things that were broken. It also takes a fair amount of force to break Denby crockery.

Are you joking?

My dad is seriously accident prone. You actually wouldn't believe how accident prone he is. He has managed to break so many of his, and others belongings. I dont think him with anything delicate or precioys. Others would think he does it on purpose but he doesn't.

Hope she's going to replace it, Denby pottery isn't cheap, the vindictive old bitch

My dad has adhd and he's just like this. Terribly clumsy and breaks everything. I feel sorry for him, and don't take it personally. I just keep prized belongings out of his reach.

I don't think I would be happy to have her in my house either. All these sound too much of a coincidence to be accidental.

Takes me ages to delete shows from my sky recordings.
No one could accidentally do that

depends really
I have a relative who would be very valuable as a tester for anything home related - anything they touch is i immediate danger of breaking. I don't know how they do it, but they have broken a bog standard (arf) toilet flush handle and the 'on' button of a water kettle...
never with bad intent though and always apologetic.

Have you pointed out it was on a shelf?

Has she offered to replace it?

Her response to both of these questions is important.

Say this is the third thing and you are worried enough to tell her she needs to see the GP now - check her response

Same with Virgin Media

Absolutely no chance it was accidental

It seems like this is strike 3 - I would be banning her from my home, as she is too much of a liability.

Still not cheap, but there is always the factory shop.

I think this is pretty important.

To break one plate I can understand could be accidental, but a whole set? And he was there and let it happen?

You say this is the 3rd time…I would get suspicious at this point that this was no longer an accident. I would be keeping an eye on this women and not allowing her on any devices or near my things I don’t want broken.

I’m afraid I couldn’t be doing with it. All visits going forward would be at her house or elsewhere.

You don’t have to put up with it but it’s probably pointless calling her out because she’ll deny it.

Clearly the zillionth person thinking about horrible grandma

Agree.

You can't predict what she'll choose next in your home to destroy so best to just keep her away.

My mother,brother and my ex are like this

I used to dread her coming over,as in the ten minutes a week she'd be in my house,something would either get broken or stolen

I remember dd making a picture out of beads (I seem to remember you had to iron them to glue them together) and shed spent ages making it

As soon as my mother walked in,the beads went flying

No sorry,just 'you shouldn't have had them on the table'

She broke my phone,ripped 3 handbags,broke the heel of my shoe,ripped my bedding,poured bleach into my washing machine and pulled down my curtain rail

She'd walk in and if something took her fancy,she'd take it-chocolates,sweets,cleaning products,fabric conditioner and my shampoo where firm favourites

If I confronted her,the tears would start and then the smear campaign would kick in-she just had to get her story out there first-I'd see that smirk as I found the damage

My brother would go as far as to tamper with the brakes on the kids bikes-twice (I know it was him,I just can't prove it-hes the golden child and i was nc with him at the time,im sure it was him that broke into my shed)

He also broke the tv,free view box (twice), poured herbal tea over my new dress (knowing I'd saved ages to buy it),smashed a window (I had just nipped inside,leaving him outside with my mother and the glass just shattered apparently),ditto my garden table and stole the kids pet rabbit with hutch

My ex was a twat

He didn't want us to break up as he was losing control

Anyway,I'd saved up for ages to buy a cross stitch of a victorian girl putting a letter in a letter box

9 months later,I was about 10 stitches of finishing it and was so proud of my hard work

I saw him pour a pint mug of strong black coffee over it

He then tried to gaslight me by saying it wasn't his coffee,It was mine

I hate coffee-I've never liked it

He also stubbed out cigarettes on my (cheap but mine) new carpet,melted my bin, tried to break my (second hand but new to me sofa) and he sprayed strong hold hairspray down the back of my tv and tried to blame the kids (one was 18 months old and the other a newborn-eldest couldnt reach the bloody hairspray)

Loads more from all 3 but they are all acting on narcissistic spite

I'll guarantee its the same for your mil

Paper plates and plastic cups for her from now on...

This is excellent. Hopefully it will shame her into stopping her nasty behaviour

It's not excellent...it's quite nasty, and if the breakage was an accident, even more so.

There are a few people on here advising similar, making references to her becoming senile, having dementia, needing to go into a home etc...

Very childish.