Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

[Doanythingtostartalloveragain]

Recently, Dh & Dd have started going out on weekend mornings, to a cafe and playground usually. They are both earlier risers than me and i’m usually still in bed. Whilst I like the occasional quiet time alone at home, i’m finding i’m getting up every weekend alone, they then come back and Dd usually plays with kids on the road for the day, so we aren’t getting any family time together.
Dd says she doesn’t get to see Dh much as he works more, so likes to do things with him, which I understand, but it leaves me having done nothing most weekends and feeling a bit sad

In a sea of women complaining about their partners not doing enough, you have a husband who happily takes your child out, to spend active time with her, while you get to sleep in after a hard week.

If you get lonely, set your alarm and get up with them and go too.

I don't think you comprehend how good you have it!

How ridiculous!

The OP is choosing to stay in bed.

Is her husband and daughter expected to hang around until she wakes up?! Young children are early risers! Far easier to entertain them in the park than at home!

She either gets up and goes with them, or enjoys the lie in.

This sounds like the opposite of a problem to most responses here because so many people don't get any chance for a break or lie in at all, but it sounds like you feel quite left out. If they're going to a cafe, why do you need to have coffee first? Just get up and go with them, 8 isn't very early. Have you let your husband know that you're feeling a bit left out and you'd like to go as well??
And with the friends, you can always call her back in if you want to go out somewhere as a family or plan something special for you and her together as well?

Have your coffee and meet them at the play park after?

Sorry OP but YABU, I think you've created an issue out of nothing.
Get up early on the mornings you're up for it. They don't have to wait for you to have coffee and get ready if you get up early enough?
Then on weekends when you want to chill, don't join them.
Find it hard to believe that all the kids on the road do nothing with their families every weekend and stay home playing with your DD. You're the patent, so make plans for weekend afternoons if you want to. If DH and DD go out at 8am, come home and have lunch, you can still head out for a family activity after lunch, can't you? She doesn't need to play with her friends on the road every single day of every single weekend.

So get up when you’re ready and go and meet them at the playground if they are out for 3-4 hours.

Stop being passive and expecting others to fit into your wants.

Get up and join them and if you want to plan something for after lunch with DD then plan it and she goes instead of playing out with friends.

I’d be up and out enjoying the day if I fancied and I’d be out later on if it was suggested. But I’m someone who likes to get up and moving.

I would also find a quiet lie in occasionally very attractive but as a LP I have up on those years ago 😂

Get up with them then enjoy an hour doom scrolling with a cuppa or power nap whilst she's playing with friends on the street. This is a you problem really so you need to do the adapting

My first reaction was that you are being unreasonable, it appears that you are living most women’s idea of heaven.
However with this post it seems like you are feeling excluded, that they don’t want you there?
Is it a DH problem that you feel he doesn’t want to spend time with you?

Also, @Doanythingtostartalloveragain - your husband and daughter doing something together is ‘family time’.

Either take that time to relax, or find something interesting to do for yourself while they’re out. Go into town; read a book; write a book; run, bake a cake, set up a business …

But also invest in a regular family activity for Sundays - National Trust visiting or hiking or something - even if it means getting up early …

Just make a plan for the day and get up earlier.
Maybe stop just letting them play in the street for the day .
It's all on you to get involved more not them to sit and wait for you to get up

Just make plans for a day, either when they are back or a full day. It's also easy to explain to DD's friends that for one day she can't join them because you do something together.

I think it's great for your DH and DD to do something together, maybe change it to just one day or twice a month.

I think it is actually really nice she had this time with her Dad and many mums would love this!

I get what you are saying about family time but maybe you have to make plans for certain weekends and on those weekends you do something specific together. But actually it sounds like she is having quite a idilic childhood, out with dad to the park then playing with the street kids….

How old is DD?

Have lunch, let DD play out with friends then call her in after a couple of hours to go to the cinema etc. or out for dinner later on.

What a strange thread

You can plan things as a family on Saturdays
You can plan things as a family on a Sunday, if you actually TALK with your husband? Has he refused to go somewhere that day once in a while?

You can get up early and meet them later, so they still have their alone time - I wouldn't 😂

When she gets back, she’s quite tired/not keen to go out again
She's a child, how old? They have bags of energy, how can a kid be too tired to go out again in the afternoon?

I can't think of a more wasted weekend than pottering around. Your DH sounds lovely to take initiative and entertain his own child.

What would YOU like to do?

It does sound as though you've got into a rut. As suggested, change your routine and gave a full day out etc. Or could they go later and you rake other children/have a picnic? Are you having a family holiday at all? However if they want that time together, then I think that's ok. It's something your DD will remember about her Dad, once grown up and it's important for girls to have that relationship with their Dad. It build good self worth.

Meet them at the park? Seems a fair compromise that'd work for you all

Get your backside out of bed and join them??
You’ll have to choose between your lie in and family time. What’s more important to you?

Why can’t you just make plans for family activities in advance, for after they return from their little outing?
It‘s lovely that they have this little routine together, gives you a chance for a longer sleep and them some time to chat just the two of them. My husband and I always did activities with our children individually, as well as doing things as a family, I think it makes for strong relationships.

Just wake up earlier and go with them or plan a day out as a family.

Its not fair that they have to stay indoors bored waiting for you to get up and ready.

Get up early at least one of the days instead of moaning about it.

Nope, nope, nope. OP can’t be bothered to get out of bed to go along, that doesn’t meant her DD and DH change their plans. If she wants to get involved then she should, not blame it on others. This is on her. This site is overrun with people whining that their partners don’t do enough and if this was the other way around everyone would be saying the person in bed needs to get up.
OP…this is a you problem.

Why have they got to wait for you? Why can't you fit in with their timings?

But that aside, it's really nice that your daughter is enjoying a bit of one-to-one time with her dad. They grow up quickly and before you know, this won't be a thing any more.

Take the positives from this - good for your daughter, good for DH and also good for you as you get peace and quiet for a bit.

But you could make the effort once a month to get up and go with them if you wanted, or discuss with DH and sort out a regular family activity.

I agree.

OP is not happy but she’s being very passive and not willing to do anything about it.

She wants them to just wait for her to wake up and get ready, instead of her being the one to be ready on time or make a plan for the day.

Can't you join them once you're up?