Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

[Doanythingtostartalloveragain]

Recently, Dh & Dd have started going out on weekend mornings, to a cafe and playground usually. They are both earlier risers than me and i’m usually still in bed. Whilst I like the occasional quiet time alone at home, i’m finding i’m getting up every weekend alone, they then come back and Dd usually plays with kids on the road for the day, so we aren’t getting any family time together.
Dd says she doesn’t get to see Dh much as he works more, so likes to do things with him, which I understand, but it leaves me having done nothing most weekends and feeling a bit sad

Erm…. Get up earlier?
Use your voice and say you’d like to come and arrange a time to leave.
Plan something for the afternoons and tell DD that there’s something planned.
This is a non problem.

If you want this to be different then the only way is to actually change something about it.
It is completely in your power.
Get up and go with them some times.
Say no to playing out with friends some times and plan something to do together.
Speak to your husband and get him to stay home some mornings and again, plan something.
Really, you just need to get up a bit earlier sometimes and join in with your family.

I think it's lovely. You say he works a lot so it's great they have this time together.
You can have mother daughter time another day.

Get yourself out of bed then

Kids can be cyclical – sometimes they only want to hang out with mum, then it's just dad's company they crave. So let your DH have this time with her because it will almost certainly peter out at some point. Enjoy the lie-in!

If they’re leaving at 8 and staying out until lunchtime why don’t you go and meet them there once you're up? That way they get an hour or so one-on-one time but you also get some family time?

8am isn't early. Just get up and go with them or meet them there when you've had your coffee. I wouldn't hang around waiting for you to get out of bed either.

That sounds lovely actually. You getting a lie in while they’re out having some bonding time!
If you want to do something altogether in the afternoon though, just plan it and say to DD ‘you can play out for a couple of hours but at 3 we’re going to do xyz’
Or do something as a family on the other day? She doesn’t get to decide she just wants to play out all day on both days. You’re the parent so you decide what you’re doing.

As everyone else has pointed out, there's a quite simple solution to this

What are you hoping people are going to say to you here OP?

"Oh you poor thing, it must be so awful having a husband who actually wants to be hands on with his kid and is happy to give you weekend lie ins every single week! That must be torture, absolutely tell your husband to stop spending quality father-daughter time with his child because you're jealous, that's completely reasonable!"

Because... Yeah you're in well the wrong place for that.

Your options are:

• Be a pretty lame parent and demand that they reduce their time together so you can feel included.

• Get up early one of the days and go with them. 8am really isn't that early, and I say that as someone who is still in bed as we speak and loves lying in.

• Go do something else together as a family on Saturday or Sunday afternoon. If she's got energy to play out with her friends surely she's got energy for a late lunch and playground somewhere one of the days?

• Find a hobby and enjoy yourself, you're blessed with a husband who enjoys spending time with his child, make the fucking most of it mate.

Gosh sounds awful. How terrible of them. Have you considering LTB?
Or perhaps get up earlier. I mean leaving at 8am is sooooo early. 🙄

We all get up and go out and do something together I don't get why 2 people would have to wait around for 1 person to decide they are ready to go out

Get up earlier, join them mid morning or enjoy the peace and quiet. Plan a family activity once in a while too. Not really sure where the problem is to be honest.

It sounds like they've got a lovely bond, OP, and you're a bit jealous.... let them spend time together.

This is such an easy fix...get up and go with them if you want to join in

If not then tell dd and her friends that one day each weekend she is not available to play with her friends and do something later as a family.

She doesn't have to go with her friends if you have other plans, you are the parents.

Yabu if you want early risers to wait around for you to get up and have a brew

Make some plans for the weekends. Surely DD only plays out if you have no plans, so make some if you want family time. The easy answer is to get up early and go with them, then have a nice afternoon nap whilst she is out playing with friends.

This is lovely - spending time with just one parent and doing their ‘thing’ is very special. I’d be so happy if my children had been able to experience this (my DH passed away when they were 4 and 6). when he was alive he took them swimming most Saturday mornings which they loved as they didn’t see him much during the week at all.
Take the time to do your own thing. You can always join them when they get back or plan a quieter activity inside if she’s tired and you can also plan a whole family thing for the Sunday afternoon.
I would really encourage you to let them have this precious time together.

I’d leave them to do their playground thing and then play with her friends until lunchtime but then say “right, at 12 we’re going out for lunch and a walk so need you home by 11.45. Or “we’re having lunch at home but I’ve booked us crazy golf this afternoon”. Or if you really want the whole day “ I want everybody ready for 9.30 because we’re going to the local National Trust (or whatever!). You can go to the playground with dad tomorrow.”

Basically be more proactive.

I do wake up early and could, they like to go alone

Get up or enjoy your lie in. 🤷🏼‍♀️

i would join them later - a compromise

What do your DH and DD say when you suggest planning something to do together for a change - a half day or day out on one of the weekend days?

If they are in the playground all morning, can you not join them there an hour later? Bringing along a coffee for you and DH and an ice cream for DD?

You seem to be prioritising a lie in over joining them, which is fine, but not taking any active steps to change a situation you are unhappy with.

He does Saturdays you do Sundays?

Have you asked your partner if sometimes they could wait for you to come with them? Then agree a time together the night before

This isn’t rocket science. DH and DD go out early on Saturday and then has friends over and do some thing as a family on Sunday. Or one of the other many variations including DH and DS do some thing early on weekend morning and then you get up early and with them the other morning. When DD has friends round you can leave them with DH and go out. There are loads of different things you can do.