Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

[Doanythingtostartalloveragain]

Recently, Dh & Dd have started going out on weekend mornings, to a cafe and playground usually. They are both earlier risers than me and i’m usually still in bed. Whilst I like the occasional quiet time alone at home, i’m finding i’m getting up every weekend alone, they then come back and Dd usually plays with kids on the road for the day, so we aren’t getting any family time together.
Dd says she doesn’t get to see Dh much as he works more, so likes to do things with him, which I understand, but it leaves me having done nothing most weekends and feeling a bit sad

You contradict yourself. You say if they waited for you to get a coffee and ready you’d go but then say they’re excluding you. If you want to go - get up earlier

I am thinking this too! 9 year old and a 6 month old…can’t even go to the loo alone here!
OP, go with them or use the time for yourself! It’s healthy for her to build relationships with her dad, friends etc and for you to have time by yourself. Even if you don’t want to go as early why don’t you let them have an early start and meet them an hour later after you have had your coffee/lie in?

Why would you keep a kid indoors to do nothing rather than play with her friends. That's crazy

By all means if you have plans to go out or have people over than the friends dake a back seat

WTF ? Nobody it's making you to stay in bed FFS!

Exactly.

I'm very perplexed by this thread. The OP clearly said her daughter doesn't see her dad much during the week and enjoys her weekend mornings with him. Why would she want to insert herself into that? There's nothing wrong with them having time that's just the two of them.

If she’s enough energy to play out with friends she’s enough energy to go out on an activity. She may not want to but kids often have a great time even when they think they don’t want to do something. Family time is also important, so you as the adult can decide whether you think family time is more important than playing out everyday at the weekend and then say that’s what you are doing. Also her needs aren’t the only needs that should be considered here. If you want family time then you can insist that’s what is going to happen. Family is about balancing needs and wants, not always just doing what children think they want.

OP, talk to your DH. You say u won’t, as don’t want to ruin it for dd, but, you are not happy! Tell DH this!!!! Speak up. Course they can have their time but also surely can fit in family time as a three!!! Solution, they get up early and do their thing on one morn of the weekend. Then you can have a lazy morning. You talk about this to DH and make a plan. Then on weekend morning 2 you do something together, tell DH n DD it’s not negotiable, no sneaking off. Plus why’s a 6 yo ruling the roost. She does not have to play out with street friends BOTH afternoons of the weekend. Stick to one only. Not fair that you are the one staying in the house, supervising kids running in n out. Again you’ve made a rod for your back not speaking up, and DH needs to take his turn. But only do this playing out once a weekend. The other afternoon do a family activity

This is a bit harsh. Some people are just not ‘morning larks’ and have a different ‘body clock’. It’s a BIOLOGICAL thing and they actually can’t change it. But this is where alarm clocks are really helpful! Does DP or DD use them? They can be a bit of a game changer if you need to get up for something and just don’t have the energy. I can’t recommend enough OP if the issue revolves around you not being able to get up.
if it’s another issue like childcare, then that’s a different story really.

I think it’s ok to feel down about the weekends. It means you need to change something. If I don’t plan out the weekend ahead of time I get fed up/lost. Why don’t you suggest to meet them at the park when you are ready after they have had an hour together and say you are going for brunch. take a Board game or cards to the cafe/pub.
or can you say you all need to pop to town to get new shoes/summer stuff, what ever if you enjoy that and have mooch/stop for ice cream.
Sunday plan an outing to cinema /swimmming /national trust.
doyou arrange play dates or days out with her friends and their mums?
you need to actively manage the family plans for the weekend. Good luck

Make a plan! This weekend, as them to be home no later than, eg., 11, as you have got plans to go for lunch/to the cinema/wherever together. She really doesn’t need to play with friends every day of every weekend,

I think people are being quite harsh here. The way I see it, in the past things as a family only got done because you arranged it. Now, they have something they do just them, and haven’t included you, and as nice as it is for them, it makes you feel unwanted and like you don’t get any time as a family unless you are the one arranging it. Sometimes it’s nice to have something done for you. Your husband can clearly arrange things since he does it with dd every weekend, so it probably feels abit crap that he’s going to those lengths every weekend without even thinking about it for dd but is forgetting to include you in any plans, when the other way round you arranged things for all of you. You are kind of damned really because DD enjoys it so ofcourse you don’t want to spoil that but I think it would be nice to be included in the plans sometimes. I’d maybe have a conversation with him, and either say you would like to join but maybe do it an hour later some Saturdays/sundays? Or maybe every other weekend you can all plan on doing something as a family, and lay the responsibility across both of you, so it’s not just on you. These feelings are probably so heightened if you are peri so hopefully you can speak to someone about that and get some medication to help with the symptoms as it’s probably making everything feel so much worse. Xx

Why don't families sold time together any more?

What time are you ready? Go then? Text to ask where they are and meet them? Go for lunch together 😄

This really makes sense

Why not leave them.to their Daddy/daughter time for o morning, then plan to have quality family time on the other day - lunch, a film, shopping trip etc.
I think you should have been able to work this out already OP. They shouldn't have to fit round you - you need to talk to the family and work out what works for everyone

Are you serious? Literally everyone who works a regular day job, or goes to school is up by 7:30 every day. It’s not early. It’s normal. In fact, statistically the average wake up time in the uk is 7:05 so 7:30 is practically a lie in.

It’s not obvious you can’t go out. Just tell her , she’s 6. Tell her she’s not playing out today because you’re going out. You’re in charge.

So walk then

OP said the child was 6 quite a few posts back.

Not really helpful. But keeping in with the mumsnetty type of tone...

Mate, mate, not read anything since your last post. Please, it really, really sounds like you are suffering from depression.
plesae read up online about symptoms and treatments. You can feel better about all of this.

when my daughter was very young my ex wife played hockey every Saturday in the season. Sometimes we’d watch and support her mum but often we’d get the bus into town , go to a bookshop, have lunch out, walk by the canal etc. This time together is some of my happiest memories of raising a child, forming a bond. If no hockey then maybe her mum would come, or we’d do something different or her mum would go and I’d get the lay in. But try not to object to what is a very special time for them, just create some of your own , get up and go with them sometimes. And enjoy the lay in!

God, I'd be thrilled. You do realise that you're the envy of nearly every MNer on here, don't you?

I’d love this! Can’t you either be grateful they are spending time together and you get a lie in (if bloody love my OH to do something with our daughter even once!) or just get up? They shouldn’t have to not do something they enjoy because you can’t be bothered to get up! What do you want them to do whilst you sleep? Sit around and wait for you?

Not the point of this thread but finding it really depressing that OP lives somewhere where there’s nothing leisure wise she wants to do that doesn’t involve driving somewhere and the nearest playground is 3 miles away….

either this is a souless community or it’s depression. I’d suggest taking advantage of having a morning to yourself by going for a run, a cycle, a walk in nature (look up forest bathing), just a walk with a podcast?

I recently had a bout of depression and I found St John’s wort and increasing my intake of natural probiotics helped (kefir yogurt etc)