Dh & Dd going out early every weekend

[Doanythingtostartalloveragain]

Recently, Dh & Dd have started going out on weekend mornings, to a cafe and playground usually. They are both earlier risers than me and i’m usually still in bed. Whilst I like the occasional quiet time alone at home, i’m finding i’m getting up every weekend alone, they then come back and Dd usually plays with kids on the road for the day, so we aren’t getting any family time together.
Dd says she doesn’t get to see Dh much as he works more, so likes to do things with him, which I understand, but it leaves me having done nothing most weekends and feeling a bit sad

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. What time are they going? Are you not willing to get up at that time to go with them, if it is important to you? Could you talk to them about a compromise where they go just slightly later?

I also agree that you could make plans for a family outing for at least one of the days. The playing out just has to fit around that. At some point it's not worth making children go on outings that they are not initially keen on, but your DD sounds like she is still quite young and would probably be more than happy to go out with you if you just got on and did it rather than giving her the choice.

Yes she did. Child is 6.

The OP said her child is 6.

if DH dibs on Saturday then dibs on Sunday but…you will have to do what DD likes so if she is an early riser…you might have to get up!

Otherwise go one of the day and sleep in the other one?

Can you not plan something for the afternoon every other weekend or something? Your DD should not dictate what you do as a family every weekend.

I can just imagine the look on my DD’s face if I had butted in on her outings with her dad……

Let them have their time together and then keep her in and chill together the rest of the day. Why does she have to play out?

Put your alarm on and get up, then you can go with them....

How about you organise something for Saturday evening?

5pm - cinema, or movie night at home (get popcorn in), or book a restaurant.

Or do a film night or a board game on a Friday evening.

Or if she's into it - a Mummy/daughter pamper type session on a Sunday evening - oat face mask sort of thing.

Christ it’s not rocket science. Just get up and go.

Oh, please don’t go with them!

Have your coffee then meet them at the playground or take your coffee with you.

Jeez, you don’t get to impose your waking up routine in the rest of the house, how selfish! If they’re up and about, they’re perfectly entitled to go out and do something together rather than hang around at home until you surface.

I would start making a plan for the weekends to plan in family time personally.

I think you should approach it from proactive point of view - this Saturday we are doing this and this and have a word with DH in advance.
The problem is not them going to a playground, the real problem is that DD is too young to do a lot in one day plus they leave you without car so you can’t do much.
It’s good that they have their own thing but 2 half days on a playground sounds a bit too much.
Do you think it’s an easier way for DH ? E.g he is on his phone while DD is playing and then sleeps in the afternoon.

Couldn’t you go and meet them once you’re up, if they’re out that long?

Get up early and go with them, problem solved.

Have you tried also getting up and going with them? You could set an alarm or ask dh to wake you when he gets up too. It’s a tiny bit less sleep, but you’d be surprised how much more you get done if you start the day early!

No. The OP’s dd will lose her time with her dad. So problem not remotely solved.

I have been in your shoes it’ hurts a lot my dc would say I don’t want her there which broke my heart but he felt I was stricter than dad so he got what he wanted like sweets drinks etc without me saying that is enough. I agree with other pp make arrangements to do something different on the alternative day or tell dd your doing something so friends can be another day. You can’t live your life around her choices every weekend. you decide when your staying in or going out I would speak to your dh about it also tell him it hurts you. and can they only do it the sat or Sunday but not both also do something fun with her yourself dad’s always come across as the fun parent whilst mum does chores or whatever she’s 6 do it now before the teenager arrives.

Well organise time she doesn't go out. Going out every weekend is not a must. Once a month the weekend is set as a family.
Get yourself up and go so some shopping / window shopping/ coffee.

8am is not early! I’m the opposite of a morning person, but with a child you need to get up for things - and getting out of the house at 8am is very normal (playgroups, football, swimming lessons etc). I suggest you set your alarm for 7am, get ready and head out with them! If you then find that there’s an issue eg DH doesnt want you there, then thats a different issue to deal with.

This!
alarms are great, I’ve got one on my phone and TWO others in our room. They all are set to slightly different times but since I’ve had them, I get things done and am usually never late

Get your lazy arse up and go with them! 8am isn’t that early