To have expected a response to a Welcome to Your New Home card

[Sassetta]

New neighbours moved in a month ago. The first day we, their immediate neighbours, dropped in a welcome to your new home card. Response? Zero.

AIBU to think it’s basic civility to say, at some point, “thank you for your card, hello we’re so-and-so”?

It’s not as though I want to hang over the garden fence and pry into their lives. I just think that if someone gives you a card it’s polite to acknowledge it.

Completely agree. Don’t put your own expectations on other people and presume your way is the right way

This exact thing happened to me. I didn’t trust the kindness of the new neighbours due to being traumatised by my previous ones. I’ve been I my new home nearly 3 years, and still have a ‘wall up’

I’m a stickler for thank you cards for presents and will often send thank you cards too after visiting people (not my parents/ close family!) I’m well aware though that I’m a dying breed and know not to expect thank you cards from others for gifts and such.

However, I think a moving in card from a neighbour probably justifies an acknowledgment at an opportune moment, when you see each other out and about. Certainly it wouldn’t require a trip over to say hello or a card in return.

Maybe you should have just said "hello" when you saw them for the first time? It's a mad time moving house so they probably appreciated the gesture but then other things took over and they forgot to respond.

Why do you feel like you need validation for your kind gesture? Isn't the gesture itself enough?

I'd have probably put a note through the door saying thanks for the card. My name is so and so. Hope to catch up with you soon.

No you are the one being ridiculous now and getting 500 word essays out of nowhere, but a quick thank you for doing something nice is expected by most normal people who have decent manners, unlike some of you folks on here.

Hi op,

I think what you mean is that they haven’t even said hi?
yeah…nowadays don’t necessarily say hi…or say hi at first…neither all the time lol

I wouldn’t be that bothered to be honest. You did something nice…moving on?

Yeah.

it isn’t really part of the etiquette to answer a hello card.

hopefully they do get a grip on saying hi when they see new neighbors though…

If you have seen them after giving them the card, it costs nothing to be polite and thank you. Perhaps with the upheaval of moving they have forgotten.

i think it’s a nice thing to have done. Why wouldn’t you, it’s a friendly thing to do, otherwise why do shops sell those cards! Quite a normal thing to do to
make someone feel welcome and all these “it’s too much” replies are odd to me. No wonder the British are seen as stand offish to some!

I’m sure when you see them in passing they will acknowledge but probably just now caught up in settling in.

YABU

I find it's best to be on "saying hi" terms with your neighbours and that's it really. I don't want any further involvement, having been burned in the past. Nosy twats reporting me to the council for having a fucking toddler slide. Council man was seriously confused when he came round to inspect.

On the one hand, sending a card is a nice thing to do. On the other hand it says "I'm sending you this so that you will come and tell me about yourself". Half a century of experience - I would not have said/done anything about the card.

Same scenario happened to me.

new neighbours moved in we live on a little road with 5 houses on it, because of this we have WhatsApp group just for things like deliveries and bringing bins in if someone is on holiday. We don’t socialise together at all so it’s not a clicky neighbourhood at all we all just get on with our lives .

new neighbours moved in they posted a little letter through door with their number on saying what day they were moving in etc. added them to the group everyone exchanged the usual pleasantries and that was it nothing full on at all.

come move in week they message saying about delivery drivers etc and we all said they could use driveways etc , at the end of the week I knock on with a card, bottle of nice wine and box of nice biscuits. Woman was pleasant enough was a quick exchange but then nothing. Just how I am if I was on the receiving end I would have messaged a little later on saying thanks etc as is a kind gesture however that is just me I would hate to think anyone would think I was not thankful of that type of thing but people are different and we move on.

I do find it in life some people are generally very self obsessed in a way that they don’t ever think outside of their own lives. I have some friends who literally live in such a bubble of “themselves” that they are oblivious to anyone else’s issues or lives. Suppose would be an easier way to live your life cos I am forever checking up on people asking how they are but doesn’t happen much in return. Modern day lives I suppose

Didn't she say thank you when you dropped in though, did you expect another thank you on the group chat or a personal message?

Seeing as it was a quick exchange, she probably had stuff going on.

Seriously , what is the point of cards ? Especially from randomers . I’d have recycled it straight away !

No she didn’t , I did get the impression she was in the middle of something as was a little bit “off” which is fine no one knows what other people have going on but my little girl wanted to go round on that day and we were very much just like hope move is going well just got you these wasn’t going to go into full conversation with her as I don’t know her but yeah I would have expected a message of thanks later on. Just politeness really. X

Wouldn’t be a randomer though in the future as your neighbours and will see each other quite often even if it’s just in passing I think it’s important to have a good relationship with neighbours. A card is a quick and easy way of saying welcome and opens up conversation next time you see each other which builds a relationship. Don’t have to be friends but it’s important to be able to speak to your neighbours I think.

Glad it’s not just me. I find cards completely pointless, even more so from someone I’ve never previously met.

Your little girl wanted to go?

That's more about you than their move.

Definitely…

Clearly you both have never had a personalised message written in a card to you or you don’t value people’s thoughtful words! Heartless people!

A personalised message from a complete stranger? Kind of a contradiction in terms.

Bonkers.

Would you then send them a 'thank you for your response to our welcome card' card?

Do you expect thank you cards from people you send Christmas cards to?

Yep - I’m with you. Waste of time and awful for the environment too.

Oh don’t be ridiculously dramatic - heartless 🤣

99% of cards are genetic Clintons ones - nothing personal at all. Waste of time and paper

Are you always this melodramatic?