Loud parenting in public spaces

[76born]

AIBU to say that even as a parent of two, I find loud parenting and following this, loud children really bloody annoying.
Two examples this week which have had me furious 😡 (I’m obviously bored and need to get a life)
Example one, sat in a cafe now enjoying a cup of tea whilst my two build Lego (it’s a Lego cafe) and one parent is commenting on her child’s building skills, eg “oh wow Timothy, great building of a really high tower Timothy, look jacasta, look how high Timothy’s tower is” (names changed). Now dad joins in. His I’m really mean..
Example two, walking home from school last week when a young g child of about two being pushed in a pushchair mumbled and pointed at something. Mum, in the loudest, poshest voice ever, “yes darling, that black Range Rover is like the one found at grampy’s house”.
i am perimenopause, I get the rage at minor things and just would enjoy your thoughts and of course, examples, to add to this thread.
I thank you

I understand your annoyance, but on the other side of the coin, I am much happier seeing parents talking with their children rather than just being hooked to their phone and ignoring the child.

As a nursery school manager I hear performance parenting on a daily basis. It really is pathetic.

When I see very enthusiastic parents I just assume they don't hang out with their kids often enough! An exhausted looking mother engaging quietly only when called upon or smiling wistfully while half ignoring their kids in the playground is most likely the one who is doing the hard work.

That said I agree with @Backtoreality1 a loud overly engaged parent is 1000 better than the ones on their phones, or the ones pushing buggies while kids are on a screen.

We had a particularly bad day of it Cambridge,
a mother loudly parented all round a museum, oh thats an elephant can you say elephant, but when we got into the lobby , both her 2 children escaped out of front door, while she ignored them. My ds and I had to rescue them

Really involved communicative parents are great, especially when so many opt to ignore their kids in favour of their phones.

But the OP is talking about performance parenting and that's something quite different.

It's both comedic and tragic at times and very very embarrassing for their kids once they're old enough to be able to see what their parents are doing.

It's never done for the sake of the child.

Performance parenting is so annoying.

I overheard someone say I was performance parenting at the park. I was literally just talking with my child. 🤷‍♀️

Agreeing so much right now, currently on holiday in Spain and there's some impressive performance parenting going on at the hotel pool. English Mum loudly 'teaching' her 3 and 1 year old how to swim - "KICK KICK KICK OUT! GOOD BOY! WELL DONE! WHAT A GOOD BOY! KEEP KICKING!". Her voice couldn't be more annoying I just want to tell her to pipe down.

Why’s it performance parenting vs just speaking and encouraging their children. You really are damned as a parent if you speak to your child, dare to look at your phone, tell your children off. Basically children are still to be seen and not heard.

I was someone that chatted any (hopefully) stimulated my young kids all the time. But i NEVER did this loud performance parenting. Nobody else needs to hear you other than the children.

Over indulgent, performative parenting. Only slightly less irritating than gentle parenting no parenting.

I work in a museum and a mum and dad came in with their child in a buggy - who couldn't have been any older than 18 months.

The child pointed to a painting of Henry VIII and the mother said very loudly "Yes that's right Edward. Do you remember when we watched that programme last week and you enjoyed it so much, you wanted to watch it again?"

Then without missing a beat, she looked me straight in the eye and said, "He's interested in the dissolution of the monasteries at the moment".

My face was like >>> 😳 and then >>> 🙄 >>> but quickly turned to >>> 🤣 once they'd left.

Apologies I am just unreasonably raging. You are quite right, ‘performance parenting’ is what it is called. That is what I mean, not kind parents who are quietly talking with and enjoying time with their children. Which I hopefully did when mine were small.
Currently a real slattern as I am on my phone not particularly engaging so they are doing a better job, albeit loud 🤣
mine are 11 and 15 though and hardly want me to breathe never mind engage with them.

I'd much rather hear people engaging with their child than screaming at them that they're little shits which is what I thought this thread was going to be about from the title. 🤷‍♀️

Performance parenting drives me nuts. Parents being involved and chatting with their kids is great. Parents who loudly talk to their children in a performative, perpetually educational manner, as if they are their teacher, drive me nuts. It’s like they can’t just have a normal conversation with their own kids.

You described it perfectly!

Yes but this has nothing to do with performance parenting?

I discreetly eye-roll.

Took the words out of my mouth

Interacting and engaging with your child(ren) can be done without the loud, performance element.
I agree it is annoying and not everyone needs to hear. They're generally either competitive parents or those who little darlings can do no wrong.....

What I also find amusing is that they don't seem to realise the people/person they're putting on the performance for, know it's all fake!

Just communicate with your child normally, instead of checking there's an audience to perform to.

Your kid will thank you for it once they're old enough to know what you were up to.

I’m on mat leave and bored out of my tits most of time. I sometimes chat to my baby in the pram because a) it’s someone to talk to and b) people keep telling me if I don’t talk to him he’ll be mute until he’s 25 and it will all be my fault.

Sitting in cafe having a nice quiet coffee. Woman comes in with a 5 year old and immediately started with the most ridiculous performative parenting I’ve ever had the misfortune to witness…

looking a drawing of flowers her 5 year old had done “oh I can see you were influenced by Georgia O’Keefe in the expression of the flowers. Should we explore more Georgia O’Keefe works darling?” 🙄

then there was much - very loud - talk of long division.

meanwhile her 5 year old was throwing a tantrum because she finished her babyccino.

My youngest nephew is profoundly deaf
He prefers his hair in a longer style, because he's self conscious of his hearing aids
I have to call his name quite loudly to get his attention, get him to look at me and over enunciate so he can read my lips/recognise the letter sound I'm making
I stop my girls playing to show them the 'signs' for animals/fish whatever as we're going around places too, because my nephew is expected to lose what little hearing he has left eventually and I don't want them not to be able to communicate
People look sometimes and it used to bother me, but I'm not explaining anymore, he's very aware of his disability already
Couldn't give a flying fuck if people like you find it annoying anymore tbh

I think I might be one of those parents who is classed as performance parenting…maybe?

I didn’t realise talking to my kid, praising them was seen as a bad thing. I honestly never do it for anyone else and parent the same at home. Maybe I need to stop as much when I’m out the house