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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've come to breakfast on my own

163 replies

2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:46

Friends wedding. 2 of my friends went to whole day, me just invited to reception. All stayed at same hotel. Planned to have breakfast together or lunch if up late. Loose plan. I woke and got up at 8, got ready and text at 9:20, one said she was stirring and other still asleep. Waited an hour until 10:30 and said I was ready and going as breakfast finishes at 11. Called one of them, no answer. Then they text me saying they were only just having a shower so wouldn't make breakfast. I've come on my own and gunna drive home after, need to get home to feed my pets and don't wanna waste a whole day off. aibu?

OP posts:
babystarsandmoon · 30/05/2025 10:48

Sounds more than fair, I probably wouldn’t have waited around so long.

Slinkyminky22 · 30/05/2025 10:48

YABU, breakfast or lunch was planned, you were up and ready so went for breakfast. Surely you meet them for lunch?

Original poster
2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:49

Have they been a bit rude or not? The other one hasn't even replied to my message
Maybe they'd rather go just them

OP posts:
Slinkyminky22 · 30/05/2025 10:50

They've not been rude, they were sleeping. I don't think I'd be up and ready for 9am after a full day at a wedding.

SeaFloor · 30/05/2025 10:50

Why would you be unreasonable to go to breakfast if your friends slept in and aren’t going to make it?

Original poster
2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:50

Slinkyminky22 · 30/05/2025 10:48

YABU, breakfast or lunch was planned, you were up and ready so went for breakfast. Surely you meet them for lunch?

Interesting. I couldn't have waited for them because I was really hungry and they'll be down in half an hour probably and I obviously won't want to eat again

OP posts:
TY78910 · 30/05/2025 10:50

Not BU, you have things to get on with. Neither are they though (loose plans, morning after a wedding so assuming hangovers are in swing)

The plan was to have lunch if late, who would have fed the pets then?

SeaFloor · 30/05/2025 10:51

2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:50

Interesting. I couldn't have waited for them because I was really hungry and they'll be down in half an hour probably and I obviously won't want to eat again

Show quote history

Well, unless you’re in a particular hurry home, or don’t want to see them, that’s not a problem, is it? They eat brunch or lunch somewhere, you have a cup of coffee or a glass of water?

whitewineandsun · 30/05/2025 10:54

Planned to have breakfast together or lunch if up late.

YABU. They're sleeping late. You can leave, but you can't blame them.

UnderratedCabbage · 30/05/2025 10:56

You had loose plans for "breakfast together or lunch if up late".
They were up late so it will be lunch.
I don't see what the problem is with them sleeping in and none of them were rude.

I would have just gone for breakfast when I woke up and they were still asleep, then either joined for lunch or just coffee.

If you needed to get home to feed pets, don't agree to possible lunch

GreyCarpet · 30/05/2025 10:56

I don't often eat breakfast so whilst I'd probably have been up for in in theory, in practice, I'd rather have stayed in bed for a bit.

They weren't rude for not wanting breakfast, you weren't rude for going alone.

Loose let's meet for breakfast! plans,.late at night when everyone's eaten a lot, in high spirits and been drinking are only ever provisional then anyone who wants to do it can, and those who don't want to do it don't.

And no hard feelings all round.

ColinCaterpillarsNo1Fan · 30/05/2025 10:56

Stop making a mountain out of a molehill, you all had a late night and they're still sleeping. Have breakfast and leave if you want to but text to say that you need to get back to feed your pets.

Don't you have anyone to feed your pets while you have lunch & a day out with your friends?

Original poster
2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:56

whitewineandsun · 30/05/2025 10:54

Planned to have breakfast together or lunch if up late.

YABU. They're sleeping late. You can leave, but you can't blame them.

Is it rude if I leave now?
I think like we have woken at different times, have different plans and I'm now sat on my own and want to go home. No indication from them of how long they'll be

OP posts:
Excited101 · 30/05/2025 10:57

You sound difficult op, the plan was for breakfast or lunch- yet you don’t seem happy with a lunch plan after all and are making passive aggressive comments about them preferring it ‘just them’.

if you want to do breakfast because you’re too hungry to wait, then fine. But you are absolutely not allowed to get stroppy with them about not being there for that when that’s why lunch was planned.

Similarly, go home if you need to, but it sounds like you didn’t ’need to’ if you’d woken up later. You’re changing to goalposts to suit your stroppy agenda.

ColinCaterpillarsNo1Fan · 30/05/2025 10:58

Leave if you want to but text to say that you need to get back to feed your pets.

Don't you have anyone to feed your pets while you have lunch & a day out with your friends?

GreyCarpet · 30/05/2025 10:58

Planned to have breakfast together or lunch if up late.

Would you expect them to think you're rude for having your own reasons for not wanting to hang around or wait until lunch (as you loosely agreed to)?

RightOnTheEdge · 30/05/2025 10:58

I don't think you were BU to go for breakfast without them if you were up and hungry.

They weren't BU though either because it was a loose plan of either breakfast or lunch.
I think if they were good friends that I wanted to spend time with, then I would probably have sat with them while they had lunch and just had a drink or something.

2ndbestslayer · 30/05/2025 10:59

Nobody is unreasonable. You had loose plans. It turned out you were up before them and hungry. No big deal. It's not rude at all to just head off if you're ready to and are unlikely to want lunch.

its2025 · 30/05/2025 10:59

This is the problem with "loose plans" someone always interprets them as one way and then gets disappointed when things change.
If you needed/wanted to get home at a certain time to feed your pets etc you should of made that clear when you were making these "loose plans" so your friends were aware.

It's not surprising they didn't get up early after an all day wedding. I dont think they are being rude - but if you need to go home for a particular time thats not rude either just let them know you had to leave.

Tiswa · 30/05/2025 11:00

It isn’t rude for you to go but it is t rude for them not to come to breakfast either

Cardinalita90 · 30/05/2025 11:00

So much angst over a breakfast! I doubt they're giving it any thought, just grab your stuff and head home.

GreyCarpet · 30/05/2025 11:00

2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:56

Is it rude if I leave now?
I think like we have woken at different times, have different plans and I'm now sat on my own and want to go home. No indication from them of how long they'll be

Show quote history

No.

Just text them and say it was a great day/evening and you're sorry you've missed them but you need to get home and you hope to see them all.soon. or whatever.

It's fine.

Why do you think it might not be..?

I wouldn't even think twice about doing what I wanted in the scenario you've described.

susiedaisy1912 · 30/05/2025 11:00

They were a bit thoughtless but to be honest plans change and maybe they needed the sleep or were feeling hungover. I wouldn’t get too upset about it

whitewineandsun · 30/05/2025 11:01

2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:56

Is it rude if I leave now?
I think like we have woken at different times, have different plans and I'm now sat on my own and want to go home. No indication from them of how long they'll be

Show quote history

Based on you agreeing to lunch if up late, I'd find it a bit weird if you left. But if you want to get home to your pets, tell your friends that you're going. Next time something like this comes up be clear that you're not staying for lunch, though.

Cherrysoup · 30/05/2025 11:01

Crack on, I’d have been hangry by 10.30. I’d just message saying you’re leaving, stuff to do. It’s not like there’s just one person there, they have each for company plus presumably other guests.