I've come to breakfast on my own

[2025isavibe]

Friends wedding. 2 of my friends went to whole day, me just invited to reception. All stayed at same hotel. Planned to have breakfast together or lunch if up late. Loose plan. I woke and got up at 8, got ready and text at 9:20, one said she was stirring and other still asleep. Waited an hour until 10:30 and said I was ready and going as breakfast finishes at 11. Called one of them, no answer. Then they text me saying they were only just having a shower so wouldn't make breakfast. I've come on my own and gunna drive home after, need to get home to feed my pets and don't wanna waste a whole day off. aibu?

They've spent the whole day at a wedding, so must be shattered.

Loose plans are exactly that - loose.

Who was going to feed the pets when you agreed to a possible lunch instead of breakfast?

You had a lose plan for maybe breakfast or lunch; nothing set. So, you get up and do your own thing and if it works out then you meet but if not, then you don’t. They haven’t been rude to you. Do you usually look for fault or cause drama? Actually thinking your friends have done something wrong, and then making up a scenario in which they have purposely tried to cut you out to go without you, when no one has done anything…it makes sense why they got a full day invite and you got an evening reception invite.

No plans were broken - they’d made loose plans to have breakfast or lunch if they slept late.

I can’t be bothered with lazy people so I’m your shoes I would have had breakfast and left
😆 🤣

You said there was only a loose plan and it was for either breakfast or lunch 'if up late'. They haven't done anything contrary to the loose plan. You woke them up, they said they weren't ready. They haven't been rude. The one who hasn't replied is probably in the shower or something.

If you want to go home, that's fine - just send them a nice message saying you've had a big breakfast so probably won't need lunch now and are going to get off home to sort your pets out and wish them a nice day.

I think a lot of people would want a lie-in after a wedding to be honest! I would absolutely not have been up at 8am if I'd been at a wedding reception the night before. I'd probably be hungover and would want to make the most of a comfy hotel bed and a nice shower.

If the op is this doting pet owner she wouldn't leave them alone. Her staying an extra hour or two should be okay or else why bring it up unless she's being difficult.

Lonelydave
Not being unreasonable at all, they made plans, they broke them, you have other things to do
Which plan was broken?

You do you OP. Get off home and send a pleasant, non confrontational message to both saying sorry to have missed u, but got to dash as have stuff to do.

Catch up soon….love

Can’t abear all the primadonnerish friendship angst.

They can like it or lump it given morning arrangements were “loose”

as it was not a firm arrangement I would think it only fair you press on with your day.

Sounds like you are the one at fault, tbh. It was agreed breakfast or lunch. You then tried to move the goalposts to suit yourself. Why agree to an “or lunch,” if what you mean is that you will wake everyone up and tell them you expect them all to entertain you at breakfast and actually have no intention of staying for lunch, because you have pets to feed?

It’s the day after a wedding OP! Lots of drinking and dancing…who wants to be up the next day at 8am! Chill!
oh and get someone to feed your pets so you can have a day with your mates 😀 meet them for lunch - obviously you can just get a drink while they eat.

@DeSoleil

its a wedding! Lots of drinking and dancing, people letting their hair down, why should they be up early the next day?!

I think you're a bit rude, and you shouldn't have made plans to meet them for lunch if you weren't up for it. It would have seemed obvious to me that you should have texted at 9.20 to say "off to breakfast, if I don't see you there we'll catch up at lunch" and you should have had a light breakfast, knowing you'd meet up for lunch later.

You've basically chosen to eat breakfast at a time and of a quantity which means you'll need to bail on the lunch plans.

It doesn't, but if there is no communication when you have made an arrangement to meet for breakfast, then they are either

not friends
or something else has happened.

If you are just after a lie in, then why on earth is there no answer from the phone and no messages sent?

Politeness costs nothing

Were you meant to be sharing a lift back?

Nobody agreed to meet up for breakfast - they agreed either to meet up for breakfast or to meet up for lunch if they were up too late for breakfast. The OP is the rude one for expecting them all to get up for breakfast regardless. The arrangement implied they might be too tired to get up in time for breakfast and it is not reasonable to expect someone to get out of the shower to answer their phone.

I think YABU but I personally am very rigid and so would probably also feel that they're being rude because they didn't care to cement in plans and adhere to them, they were happy to be loosey goosey.

That's just not my vibe, and it's taken me a long time to accept that different people are OK with go with the flow type plans when I am not.

I think you can still leave though and just say you're sorry, you've had to leave, but let's plan to do lunch some other time as you'd still like to catch up and thanks for a great night.

I think if there was just a loose plan for either breakfast or lunch they haven't been rude, they've just slept late and assumed the plan defaulted to lunch.

They were rude and should have told you they wouldn’t make breakfast.

There is no way I would have waited until 10.30. I wouldn’t miss out on hot fresh food and would have gone down by 9.30.

I would just go home, don’t even tell them you’re leaving.

I think if you have agreed to an “or lunch,” it is reasonable to assume you are happy to stay at the hotel past lunchtime. It is therefore a bit rude to disappear before lunch.

I think if you have agreed to an “or lunch,” it is reasonable to assume you are happy to stay at the hotel past lunchtime. It is therefore a bit rude to disappear before lunch.

You don't have to be a doting pet owner to feed them, it's also ok to leave them alone for a night. No need for snideness at being difficult either.

It was breakfast or lunch, depending on what time everyone was up and ready.

You were the only one up and ready at breakfast. So you can't have breakfast with the others, because they're not up.

So, the 'or lunch' is now 'definitely lunch'.

But you've changed this by eating breakfast without them, and heading home.

If it were me,if I was wasting away and couldn't wait a couple of more hours to eat, I'd have just had some toast or something small so that I was able to still eat lunch with them.

It's you who changed the scenario.

I am also confused as to why you agreed to lunch, as it sounds as if you definitely wanted breakfast as wanted to go home earlier than lunch?

Why not say last night 'If you're up I'll have breakfast with you, but I won't be able to stay much later than that so can't join for lunch'.

That might have even changed their plans-they may have made sure they could be up for breakfast with you. They expected you to be okay with either meal, because you said you were.

Sorry, I think pet owners are weird. I take it back they are fucking weird. I've never met a sensible or reasonable pet owner. All or nothing it's bizarre.

They'd already said they might not make breakfast. They'd said they'd meet for either breakfast or lunch. How is it rude to not be at something you'd already agreed you might not be at?