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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've come to breakfast on my own

163 replies

2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:46

Friends wedding. 2 of my friends went to whole day, me just invited to reception. All stayed at same hotel. Planned to have breakfast together or lunch if up late. Loose plan. I woke and got up at 8, got ready and text at 9:20, one said she was stirring and other still asleep. Waited an hour until 10:30 and said I was ready and going as breakfast finishes at 11. Called one of them, no answer. Then they text me saying they were only just having a shower so wouldn't make breakfast. I've come on my own and gunna drive home after, need to get home to feed my pets and don't wanna waste a whole day off. aibu?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 30/05/2025 12:39

It was a loose plan. No need to overthink it.

StarCourt · 30/05/2025 12:39

Op you sound like a difficult friend

ilovesooty · 30/05/2025 12:41

Helloworlditsmeagain · 30/05/2025 12:37

Sorry, I think pet owners are weird. I take it back they are fucking weird. I've never met a sensible or reasonable pet owner. All or nothing it's bizarre.

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Yes. I imagine they think highly of you too.

Helloworlditsmeagain · 30/05/2025 12:43

StarCourt · 30/05/2025 12:39

Op you sound like a difficult friend

Don't say that you might get told off for being snidey. I've seen more posts saying the same thing but me calling her difficult is snidey. Maybe she owns dogs or cats.

Rightsraptor · 30/05/2025 12:43

Just leave when you want. You don't owe it to them to wait around.

Go.

StarCourt · 30/05/2025 12:45

Helloworlditsmeagain · 30/05/2025 12:43

Don't say that you might get told off for being snidey. I've seen more posts saying the same thing but me calling her difficult is snidey. Maybe she owns dogs or cats.

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i own dogs and cats

Helloworlditsmeagain · 30/05/2025 12:45

ilovesooty · 30/05/2025 12:41

Yes. I imagine they think highly of you too.

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I don't care if they do or don't I don't live my life to other people's expectations only my own.

Ponoka7 · 30/05/2025 12:48

2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:50

Interesting. I couldn't have waited for them because I was really hungry and they'll be down in half an hour probably and I obviously won't want to eat again

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I'd have had breakfast as soon as I woke up. Then coffee and a small plate with them. I've never been able, or wanted to stick to these types of timings when it's the morning after. They haven't been rude, it was a loose plan. You didn't go just to have breakfast with them. It's their time to chill and be off work, as well.

Helloworlditsmeagain · 30/05/2025 12:49

StarCourt · 30/05/2025 12:45

i own dogs and cats

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I bet it must be a zoo in your house 😂. My partner did some work in a woman's house and she owned cats or dogs or both and he said "there was no animal smells in her house". I do like animals but not everyone is cut out to actually care and look after them properly. They are huge responsibility.

Nicole621 · 30/05/2025 12:53

Why did you make loose lunch plans if you had no intention of staying for lunch?

It's fine for you to have ended up getting up earlier and going for breakfast but they haven't been rude at all. They just decided to sleep in and have lunch instead of breakfast - as was loosely agreed if they didn't get up.

vickylou78 · 30/05/2025 12:53

You are overthinking this.. go enjoy breakfast whenever you want it. When they get up and have brunch, join them for a coffee!/brunch if you are hungry. In meantime enjoy relaxing in hotel, read a book, take a bath etc.

ThePoshUns · 30/05/2025 12:53

No one is in the wrong here, you wanted to go for breakfast, they wanted a lie in. Really not an issue.

ilovesooty · 30/05/2025 12:55

Helloworlditsmeagain · 30/05/2025 12:45

I don't care if they do or don't I don't live my life to other people's expectations only my own.

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Yes. So do I. I also manage to do it without calling large groups of people fucking weird

rubbishtv · 30/05/2025 12:59

I would have had breakfast and then just hook up for a coffee and snack at lunchtime with friends. Just leaving is quite rude TBH .

657904I · 30/05/2025 13:04

2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:50

Interesting. I couldn't have waited for them because I was really hungry and they'll be down in half an hour probably and I obviously won't want to eat again

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Sounds like a you problem

you could have had something small for breakfast and then a full
lunch when everyone was up

Penguin92 · 30/05/2025 13:05

I don’t understand what you’re asking. Are you being unreasonable by going to breakfast on your own? Definitely not. You are implying that you’re annoyed with your friends - if that’s the request then yeah that’s unreasonable! You said breakfast or lunch and let’s be honest most people want a lie in when hungover

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 30/05/2025 13:09

Planned to have breakfast together or lunch if up late.
2025isavibe was up early, but friends were not. So OP decided to have breakfast later than intended to try to accommodate friends.

But friends were up even later and likely assumed that if they'd missed breakfast together then they'd do lunch.

I think OP is being a little unreasonable here as the plan was reasonably fluid. However, if there are other things to be done with the day, then it's just one of those things. I don't think it's particularly rude to say that plans have changed, but friends may be a bit miffed if they'd expected (understandably) to be meeting OP for lunch in lieu of breakfast.

Funnywonder · 30/05/2025 13:11

YANBU to leave when you want. As long as you understand that you are the one breaking the arrangement.

Caroparo52 · 30/05/2025 13:13

Not sure what problem is. You tried to meet up. Others not interested. You have responsibilities at home to attend to. So need to depart. I wouldn't have waited around so long personally

Morrisdancer403010 · 30/05/2025 13:13

What's to be reasonable or unreasonable? You got up early and had breakfast, they didn't. You said loose plans breakfast OR lunch. You chose the former knowing your mates wouldn't make it. Eat and go home. End of story. I'd not be up at 8 or 9 after an all day wedding either.

Canshehavewaferthinham · 30/05/2025 13:14

ilovesooty · 30/05/2025 12:55

Yes. So do I. I also manage to do it without calling large groups of people fucking weird

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That sounds like a monumental way to live, how on earth do you manage it?! /sarcasm

Skandar · 30/05/2025 13:16

This is a bizarre amount of overthinking... I've gone to events etc and stayed in the same hotels as friends numerous times. First one up tends to message to say 'I'm going for breakfast in half an hour if anyone else is about' - others either join or they don't, no big deal either way. If someone then wants or needs to leave after breakfast, again a 'sorry, need to shoot off - if you're about for a goodbye I'll be in reception until 11, otherwise I'll see you at xxxx event/soon/never!' message gets sent.

I suppose they might think you're rude if they were expecting to see you for either breakfast or lunch depending on which one all of you were up and about for - but most friends I have wouldn't think anything of a 'sorry, I can't stick around for lunch now - realised I need to get back for x/feel rough and just want my own bed' message.

latetothefisting · 30/05/2025 13:17

2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:56

Is it rude if I leave now?
I think like we have woken at different times, have different plans and I'm now sat on my own and want to go home. No indication from them of how long they'll be

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it's not rude for them to not get up for breakfast when you didn't specifically agree you would. If you'd all agreed to meet for breakfast and they decided they cba to get up and changed it to lunch last minute it would be on them, but you left it the night before as meeting for one of those together - it seems they are still up for that, you're the one who isn't.

I would say it's fine for you to now leave if you don't want to hang around and wouldn't be annoyed at all if I was your friend - however you are the one going against the agreed plan, not them, so while I don't think it needs to be a big deal at all, I think they have more 'right' to be annoyed at you than vice versa.

Just take it as learning for next time to make your plans a bit more specific - if you know you won't want to hang around all day say 'Let's meet for breakfast by half ten.'

LillyPJ · 30/05/2025 13:18

I couldn't wait until 10.30 for breakfast! 9 o'clock would be late for me, and I always have to have breakfast. Maybe they don't care if they miss it so it's perfectly reasonable for you to please yourself.

Newbie8918 · 30/05/2025 13:20

2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:56

Is it rude if I leave now?
I think like we have woken at different times, have different plans and I'm now sat on my own and want to go home. No indication from them of how long they'll be

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Why did you agree to ‘or lunch’ if you clearly (for good reason) can’t wait until lunch and need to leave?

No one is being unreasonable. It’s a storm in a teacup. Stay and have a coffee with them while they eat or don’t but if anything YABU as you should have been clearer about not being able to stay. Maybe that would have influence their actions in the morning.