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AIBU?

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Original poster

I've come to breakfast on my own

163 replies

2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:46

Friends wedding. 2 of my friends went to whole day, me just invited to reception. All stayed at same hotel. Planned to have breakfast together or lunch if up late. Loose plan. I woke and got up at 8, got ready and text at 9:20, one said she was stirring and other still asleep. Waited an hour until 10:30 and said I was ready and going as breakfast finishes at 11. Called one of them, no answer. Then they text me saying they were only just having a shower so wouldn't make breakfast. I've come on my own and gunna drive home after, need to get home to feed my pets and don't wanna waste a whole day off. aibu?

OP posts:
Weekendish · 30/05/2025 11:03

I’d go for breakfast as it’s clear they can’t make it, but would then hang around and have a coffee or lunch and a chat. A late start is normal following a wedding. One’s in the shower so will appear shortly.

The pets complicate things though as it seems you have to head off fairly early. Was lunch ever a real possibility?

Don’t know how to vote as YANBU to go to breakfast, but YABU to be peeved and also to leave early when you were talking about the possibility of having lunch together last night.

TorroFerney · 30/05/2025 11:03

SeaFloor · 30/05/2025 10:50

Why would you be unreasonable to go to breakfast if your friends slept in and aren’t going to make it?

This. Not everything has to have a good and a bad guy in it. Is it op that you are self conscious about doing this? Or have not eaten alone before. This is about you not them.

Cnidarian · 30/05/2025 11:05

It's a bit weird as you'd agreed to lunch if up late but now they're doing that you're annoyed and questioning motives and saying you need to get back. Go if you need to but don't be aggy with them they've not done anything that wasn't discussed.

SwingTheMonkey · 30/05/2025 11:05

Why did you agree to breakfast or lunch if you knew you couldn’t do lunch because of your pets. You seem desperate to make your friends out to be the bad guys when all they’ve done is sleep in after a long day.

GreyCarpet · 30/05/2025 11:05

Based on you agreeing to lunch if up late, I'd find it a bit weird if you left.

I wouldn't. It's no different to everyone equally agreeing to breakfast and then not making it.

It's an overall plan in theory that was loosely agreed to. The OP could make the breakfast part, the others will be ready for the lunch part. It's fine.

Now, if she were going home in a sulky strop about it, I'd think that were weird but otherwise it's fine and most people accept that loose plans aren't set in stone.

Itisjustmyopinion · 30/05/2025 11:07

What’s the issue with eating breakfast on your own?

You would be rude to say screw it I am off home just because they have had a lie in.

If they come down and ready to eat then you just have a drink and have a chat. If you don’t want to do that then go home but I think you would come across as petty

whitewineandsun · 30/05/2025 11:09

it's fine and most people accept that loose plans aren't set in stone.

Yes, except OP seems annoyed that the friends aren't ready for breakfast according to her timetable, when that was a loose plan from the start. She shouldn't have said she could do lunch when she doesn't want to.

Wishimaywishimight · 30/05/2025 11:09

Life becomes a lot easier once you start suiting yourself as much as possible.

You were up and ready for breakfast, you let them know this. They weren't ready to eat at that time so you should have gone ahead and ate.

You are ready to leave now. Just text and let them know this and head off.

No one is being rude. People have different timetables.

Smartiepants79 · 30/05/2025 11:09

They haven’t done anything wrong.
And neither have you.
If i’d been out late, drinking, at a wedding then breakfast before 10:30 was never going to be on my agenda.
You agreed to a plan that possibly included a lunch not a breakfast, indicating that you were happy to wait around for everyone to be up and about.
You’re not, so explain why you need to leave and go home. I wouldn’t meet them now if I was you cos you sound cross with them and might be huffy.

BlueMum16 · 30/05/2025 11:11

2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:56

Is it rude if I leave now?
I think like we have woken at different times, have different plans and I'm now sat on my own and want to go home. No indication from them of how long they'll be

Show quote history

I'm guessing check out of the hotel is 11am so they'll be up soon. If you need to get back for pets why would you agree to potential lunch?

Pack your stuff up. If they are about you could stay for a drink if they are eating. If not just message and say see you next time, had to get back.

DappledThings · 30/05/2025 11:11

Nobody has done anything wrong. You all had a vague plan of breakfast or lunch with the possibility of big lie-ins meaning breakfast was off. You didn't want a lie-in so went to have breakfast.

If you now want to leave before lunch that's fine too but it is a change to the original flexible plan. They be kept to that original flexibility

RB68 · 30/05/2025 11:12

My view is they are rude to leave you hanging - its not mega early you only actually started pressing at 10.30 after a number of messages. You are different is all - their plans flexed so yours can to - I wld just text need to get back for pets etc and eat and go.

There were no fixed plans therefore if you decide you need to do what you want to do then do it

notacooldad · 30/05/2025 11:14

Absolute non issue.
No one has been rude. They are having in a lie in, you are hungry.
Everyone needs to do what works for them when loose plans have been made.
You are not abandoning anyone, they stoll have each other to chat with and you have to get off.
No need for angst.

minipie · 30/05/2025 11:15

Planned to have breakfast together or lunch if up late

So it was anticipated that some of you might be up late and in that case you’d do lunch instead?

I think it would be a bit rude to leave now tbh. Not rude at all to have breakfast without them obviously, but why leave now if the plan was to have lunch together?

If it’s not convenient to stay for lunch, then you could’ve said that yesterday and they probably would’ve made more effort to be up for breakfast - but they thought they could see you at lunch so enjoyed a lie in.

BangersAndGnash · 30/05/2025 11:16

It was a loose arrangement, they are having a morning after the night before, hardly unusual after a wedding, don’t take it so personally.

Of course it’s ok to go home now if that’s what you want to do. Again, loose arrangement. Just send them a cheery message and go.

Chints · 30/05/2025 11:17

2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:56

Is it rude if I leave now?
I think like we have woken at different times, have different plans and I'm now sat on my own and want to go home. No indication from them of how long they'll be

Show quote history

I have some sympathy but if you leave before lunch then you're the one reneging on the plan, not them.

Arguably lunch with friends is a great use of a day off, not a waste. Going home without seeing them would be the waste. But your call.

Mudsludge · 30/05/2025 11:18

You are over-thinking this. That must be exhausting for you. No one is rude. Everyone has agency. Did you all have a great time at the wedding - why not stay to chat about it with your friends - try to be sociable - it will mak you feel better. Are you a little hungover and paranoid?

Alwayswonderedwhy · 30/05/2025 11:19

Sounds fine to me. I need to eat when I get up so wouldn't hang around. Just meet for lunch like you discussed.

DeSoleil · 30/05/2025 11:20

I can’t be bothered with lazy people so I’m your shoes I would have had breakfast and left.

HopingForTheBest25 · 30/05/2025 11:22

I think the real issue here is that 2 friends have been invited to a whole wedding and 1 has only been invited to the evening do. It means that you will be separate to the main event. Unless your 2 friends made concrete plans to spend time with you, it was inevitable that you'd be alone. I probably wouldn't have gone tbh. Two tier weddings are not great if it means separating friend groups.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 30/05/2025 11:23

Of course it's rude if you leave now without proper explanation. However if you leave a msg explaining you were up early and were tired and wanted to get home, I'm sure they will understand. Especially if you are polite and apologetic, which you ought to be because YOU are the one changing plans. That said, If they have the same mindset as you they might see it differently!

BruisedNeckMeat · 30/05/2025 11:23

What are you on about?

Whyx · 30/05/2025 11:27

Is this more about them being invited to whole day and you not? You seem to be trying to "other" yourself.

I agree with pp. If they were sleeping late then lunch should have been assumed. I know it would be annoying as you wouldn't be hungry but honestly the decision should have been made by 9.30 when clearly you were ready way before them. You could have had a light breakfast and been ready for lunch. If you never intended to stay for lunch as you need to get home then you should have said from the start.

Moveoverdarlin · 30/05/2025 11:29

2025isavibe · 30/05/2025 10:50

Interesting. I couldn't have waited for them because I was really hungry and they'll be down in half an hour probably and I obviously won't want to eat again

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You couldn’t wait as you were really hungry. They didn’t want to go for breakfast as they were really tired. Six of one, half dozen of another. No biggie. They were hungover wedding guests who didn’t make breakfast. Happens all the time.

Viviennemary · 30/05/2025 11:32

It was a casual arrangement. But by 10 your friends could have said they weren't going to make breakfast. If you want yo go home just do that. You've waited around long enough.