Need to ditch a friend but can't tell her or anyone else why!

[eqpi4t2hbsnktd]

More of a WWYD..
I just found out that a mutual friend has shagged another mutual friend's husband. Husband then told his wife and they are working through things very privately.
I was told in confidence and do not intend to tell anyone.
However, I no longer what to be friends with the woman who shagged someone else's husband... I no longer trust or respect her.
How do I cut her off without telling my DP what she's done?

BUT - I don't know WHY she told me... wish she hadn't tbh.

It’s none of your business! If the OW told you just say you want nothing to do with it. Keep seeing your other friend as normal. Ignore any speculation about the husband telling his wife etc . You do t know whether any of it’s true and if it is then the 3 adults involved can sort it out without you worrying about it

Maybe she knows the other women has eyes for your partner. A warning message…

I mean if she’s known as that type already and now she’s going through friends husbands.

But how does she know? Hearsay? Gossip? Signed confession from the guilty couple? Photograph of them leaving a hotel together looking rumpled?

You've already been told by a trusted friend who knows. So far that's at least five people who know. That's already beyond the point where anyone has control over the information spreading, so it's not really a secret any more. So I'd just be honest with everyone, albeit very quietly and sensitively because of the upset involved, and stick to your principles. Don't blame you for not wanting her in your life.

Seriously can't understand how she's meant to 'punish' the man when she has nothing to do with him except through his wife, her friend.

She can't withdraw friendship that isn't there.

The clue is in how it's described.

My female friend (victim) was cheated on by her husband (villain) and my other female friend (villain).

Not my male friend (villain) cheated on his wife (victim) with my female friend (villain).

In the real scenario, OP only had a personal relationship with one responsible party. It's not about holding the woman to a higher standard.

The two women were friends too... this upsets me. That OW has done this to HER friend.

And the husband did that to his wife.

You don’t have all the facts & context & your friend is spreading gossip, especially if you don’t know why she told you.

You have it all second hand.

I’m going to guess Op that you love a bit of drama in your life and perhaps life is a bit… empty atm?

It's for the wife to decide whether to keep or lose either / both the friend or husband.

Yes he did. And I do not think he is a great person by any means. But that's between him and his wife.
This is between me and my (ex) friend.

This!

If you knew this woman has form for shagging other peoples husbands/partners why are you only now cutting her out of you life?

And as much as you trust the person that told you do you know who the first person, other than the mutual friend and your friends DH was to find out about what happened.
Are they trustworthy?

I'm not saying its not true but everything you're hearing is hear say and nothing from your friend that was cheated on.

I'm not going to comment on how or why you want to keep the reasons secret, but I agree with you ending the friendship, and continuing to ignore/have nothing to do with the cheating husband.

You don't need to ditch any friendships. Just be distant but polite. Unless you user to text her everyday or something, just pull back a bit.

Tell the wife you knew. It’ll come out if you don’t.

It’s not messy.

Tell your husband this woman sleeps around and you won’t spend any time in her company because you’re sick of hearing about it.

You don’t have to betray anyone’s trust or reveal any names.

Just form of shagging anyone... not peoples partners. This is a new development.

Who exactly told you?

My friend. She is also friends with everyone involved.

Whoever told you in confidence has more than likely told other people in confidence too. You don't need to make a big drama about not seeing the woman that you're blaming for it all just say no t any plans that she suggests you don't have to give a reason.

Does the wife know about the friend?

If she's a single woman she's perfectly entitled to shag whoever she likes. It sounds like you've never liked her, and you've been very quick to take sides on this too. .

You've been told by a mutual "friend" who no doubt believes it to be true, but that doesn't make it so. You're right friend had no reason to tell you, so why did she?