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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to know what you're sick of about men !

360 replies

GingerPussInBoots · 27/05/2025 23:55

OK, OK its not all men

But this comment on another thread ade me laugh so much and I seriously related, anything else you'd like to add?

OP posts:
toottoot3 · 28/05/2025 15:26

ItsBouqeeeet · 28/05/2025 09:00

This. Imagine the outrage if a man posted a similar thread about women?

Oh yes a thread on a female based forum is the worst!! Guys having the confidence to actually say any thoughts directly to women they don't even know, attack, abuse and belittle is nothing compared to the power of this individual thread. Thanks for pointing out the audacity

ItsBouqeeeet · 28/05/2025 15:26

5128gap · 28/05/2025 15:20

The insistence by some that any issues faced by women at the hands of men are also faced by men at the hands of women. The refusal to acknowledge the protection afforded by their privilege and physical advantage and pretence that 'if you flipped the sexes' the situation would be the same. Any discussion about male VAWG inevitably joined by some tiresome individual with some anecdote about a violent woman they once knew. The pretence that 'misandry' is the equal opposite to misogyny and that any criticism of men is misandry. Thankfully I don't encounter this much in real life, but on here it's very irritating.

But they are faced by men at the hands of women. Your denial of it makes you very naive.

memoriesofamiga · 28/05/2025 15:33

My 14 year old DD is in a blooming phase, without any effort or knowledge on her part she's turning into a beautiful young lady. The effect this seems to have suddenly had on men, especially men much older, old enough to be her dad, is making me sick of men in general. Walking out and about in public with her is eye opening, the blatant, open leering at her, comments as she passes, getting into her personal space 'by accident' with an air of masculine threat, is giving me mum rage. I'm reminded of how things were when I was her age, but seeing it happen to her makes my blood boil. I havnt challenged any of these men, yet, because I know male anger enough not to want to make it worse. I know I'm not the only Mum to have noticed this, it's not an isolated thing.

Why can't older men just fuck off and leave teenage girls alone?

ItsBouqeeeet · 28/05/2025 15:33

toottoot3 · 28/05/2025 15:26

Oh yes a thread on a female based forum is the worst!! Guys having the confidence to actually say any thoughts directly to women they don't even know, attack, abuse and belittle is nothing compared to the power of this individual thread. Thanks for pointing out the audacity

So if there was a male forum with lots of women bashing, you'd be okay with that?

StandFirm · 28/05/2025 15:34

Gustavo77 · 28/05/2025 13:03

I am sick of women being anti men just because they are men. They have a much more difficult time of it these days than women and deserve to be supported not slated

Oh dear.

StandFirm · 28/05/2025 15:35

ItsBouqeeeet · 28/05/2025 15:33

So if there was a male forum with lots of women bashing, you'd be okay with that?

You've just described most of social media...

TheaBrandt1 · 28/05/2025 15:36

Memories yes it is disgusting. Dd now 16 and has already had lots of grim incidents with men leering / saying vile things for years now 🤮🤮🤮

misssultana · 28/05/2025 15:37

@memoriesofamiga Also if you voice any of that men will just assume you are envious of your daughters beauty and her ability to attract men because obviously to the male mind a woman's raison d'etre is to be beautiful and young so she can attract as much male attention and be as pleasing to men as possible.

They seriously cannot comprehend that older women might want to protect girls from exploitation, abuse and even the discomfort of male attention that we remember from that age so well.

Verv · 28/05/2025 15:37

ItsBouqeeeet · 28/05/2025 15:33

So if there was a male forum with lots of women bashing, you'd be okay with that?

Do you think women kill any men as a result of man-bashing on the internet?

TheaBrandt1 · 28/05/2025 15:38

To the men defenders we are not saying these things out of meanness or prejudice they are our own and our daughters actual lived experiences! So no I won’t be quiet to save men’s feelings. Fuck that. Stop behaving badly and as if by magic the criticisms will then cease.

Verv · 28/05/2025 15:44

The absolute selfishness, and the unwavering idea that they know best, despite all evidence to the contrary, and the petulant sulking when they're shown aforementioned evidence.

memoriesofamiga · 28/05/2025 15:46

misssultana · 28/05/2025 15:37

@memoriesofamiga Also if you voice any of that men will just assume you are envious of your daughters beauty and her ability to attract men because obviously to the male mind a woman's raison d'etre is to be beautiful and young so she can attract as much male attention and be as pleasing to men as possible.

They seriously cannot comprehend that older women might want to protect girls from exploitation, abuse and even the discomfort of male attention that we remember from that age so well.

You've phrased that perfectly! Also makes my blood boil that standing up for my daughter (or any girl her age actually) is because I'm jealous. It's insane.

Richandstrange · 28/05/2025 15:48

The sulking, my god the sulking! And the lack of emotional intelligence/depth, I just find a lot of them superficial, boring and a bit...basic 🤷🏻‍♀️

Gotback · 28/05/2025 15:49

Accepting suggestions from a man that 10 minutes earlier they dismissed from a woman. Most recently by an estate agent whom I spoke to in person: 1/10 suggestions accepted. Went home & emailed him as though from my husband: 10/10 suggestions accepted.

DelboytrottersDnecklace · 28/05/2025 15:56

Ifpicklesweretickles · 28/05/2025 11:30

The ugliest vilest old little creeps having the confidence to approach women and think they'd be in with a chance.

This describes a customer about 10 years ago
Slimy,ugly,Foul,greasy,nasty creep doesn't come close to describing the wanker
He'd come in with his long term girlfriend and I was polite to the pair of them (because it's my job)
About ten minutes later,I was bent over changing the bin and he came up behind me,ground his hard cock into my backside and ran off laughing
He wasn't laughing when the police showed up and had words
He tried to deny it (it was caught on cctv)then claimed it was part of a game we played,then when that didn't wash,he claimed I'd been giving him the come-on for weeks
His nasty girlfriend sat there squawking that he'd 'had every right' and 'he was just joking'
Fuck all happened-the police had a word and left (which they've done every single time I've been assaulted)
I didn't see him (or her) again until yesterday
I was walking to work,i got to a corner,when I could just feel someone's vibes-and I didn't like what I could feel
I turned around and there was nasty fucker,just stood smirking at me
He followed me up the street and round another corner (the streets where full of people and shops) before he gave up-just enough to freak me out,but not enough to get into trouble
He's one of many men who have felt they can treat women like this-I've had it since I was a child
He's another man who can't pull a woman (well he has,but she's a nasty,spiteful bitch who he'd dump in a heartbeat if he could find someone prettier)
What gives them the right to touch a woman's body or scare the hell out of them?

Wrappedit · 28/05/2025 15:56

What are the men like in your personal life Op? Partner? Father? Brother? Friends?

AnnieAzul · 28/05/2025 15:56

ChesterDrawz · 28/05/2025 15:18

Yes there are.

Please do show me stats that show a race or sexual orientation having such an horrific effect on another class of people.

AnnieAzul · 28/05/2025 15:59

CookingFatCat · 28/05/2025 13:03

I just hate the fact that women are conditioned, no brainwashed from birth to want to be chosen by one. And no matter how awful the relationship, or you’ve won at life for getting one.
And the irony of everything @AnnieAzul
said.
Get a boyfriend whilst simultaneously avoid getting raped attacked murdered.

what is the irony?

Tessiebear2023 · 28/05/2025 16:04

Luckily all the important men in my life have been respectful and kind, so I can't really complain.. But ok, I will!

I think the thing that bugs me, which almost every guy I know does, is expect a fuss every time they do something they think is clever. They just can't move on without drawing attention to it and getting their congratulations. I know some women that do this too, but it's definitely waaaaay more prevalent in men.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 28/05/2025 16:21

Boredlass · 28/05/2025 07:47

Yeah, Mumsnet isn’t man hating at all…

How do we get to that point though?

After fucking years of living with them which in effect ends up in us being their nurse-nanny-carers (because it's that or live in squalor), being groped because their libido is solely down to a woman to deal with (god forbid they should just quietly deal with 90% of it on their own), their inability and unwillingness to be an equal parent to THEIR children. And all of this on top of us working the same if not more hours and earning equally or more than them. While doing at least 90% of the domestic labour.

They need to bloody hurry up and evolve. I've been saying for years they're not evolving quickly enough. Because ultimately, the majority (no, not all, there are some LOVELY guys out there) of men are a burden that so many women are no longer prepared to carry.

neverbeenskiing · 28/05/2025 16:22

It speaks volumes that even though OP literally caveats her post with "not all men" this thread is still full of variations on the theme "but why do you hate all men so much????"

It's may not be all men, but it is too many men. Women who have been affected by the behaviours described on this thread, or who are concerned about the impact of those behaviours on their daughters, should be allowed to talk about it. They should especially be able to talk about it on a forum that was created by women for women.

Whatwouldscullydo · 28/05/2025 16:25

Wanting all the perks of having a girlfriend. Without you actually being the girlfriend and how you are good enough to help them out, lend them.money, look after their pets, borrow stuff from, but not good enough to be seen in public with or tell anyone or about, or even be nice to because even the compliments are phrased in a a way that makes it hard or inconvenient for THEM.

stample · 28/05/2025 16:27

“When I get home I just want to relax”
”what have you done all day” (after being at work til 4, getting home then having 3 hours max cooking dinner for us all and cleaning up)

ifeelprettyorange · 28/05/2025 16:37

To all the men stating “not all men”
please, watch this video by Daniel Sloss

(TW mentions rape)

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/09nwMfxh_jc?si=OaKms73nbnayQDDP

poppy10101 · 28/05/2025 17:32

I’m