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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is drink driving ever right?!

155 replies

Lillylight · 27/05/2025 15:06

Obviously the answer is a resounding NO! I know that. Everyone knows that…..right?

So how do I process/deal with my DH after he decided to drink and drive and just about manage to park on our drive?

In-laws response: Sweep it under the carpet.

DH’s response: It was just a mistake, I didn’t get caught so let’s not discuss it anymore or more accurately AT ALL.

Me: On OUR holiday alone as he missed the flight due to sleeping it off.

OP posts:
Swiftie1878 · 27/05/2025 15:08

I don’t know what you’re asking, tbh.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 27/05/2025 15:08

Hopefully there were no passengers in the car.

MrsK89 · 27/05/2025 15:09

If he's not accepting that was a bad move that could have ended very bad, then I'd refuse to get in the car with him

Original poster
Lillylight · 27/05/2025 15:10

Swiftie1878 · 27/05/2025 15:08

I don’t know what you’re asking, tbh.

I’m not sure I’m sure, I suppose it’s a WWYD situation?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 27/05/2025 15:10

It's not really all about the drink driving is it? He's missed a holiday because of his drinking.

I'm glad you went though, a bit of space to think can be a good thing.

azafata2 · 27/05/2025 15:11

God he missed the flight as he was so drunk the night before(and driving) he could not get up and you are alone. I would say stay alone. Send him a message and tell him not to bother and have a lovely time by yourself!

Seawolves · 27/05/2025 15:11

What would I do? I'd leave him.

purplecorkheart · 27/05/2025 15:12

Sorry but is this all the same incident?

Swiftie1878 · 27/05/2025 15:12

Lillylight · 27/05/2025 15:10

I’m not sure I’m sure, I suppose it’s a WWYD situation?

Show quote history

I’d enjoy my holiday!

He’s a prick. But he’s an adult. You can’t lecture him or teach him that drink driving is a terrible thing to do - he already knows, but chose to do it anyway. That is who you are married to.

Original poster
Lillylight · 27/05/2025 15:13

purplecorkheart · 27/05/2025 15:12

Sorry but is this all the same incident?

Yes

OP posts:
Spanador · 27/05/2025 15:14

FIL went out in his car one night after drinking half a bottle of gin. MIL reported him to the police (who caught him and he got a ban) and then divorced him

IkeaMeatballGravy · 27/05/2025 15:14

No it's not acceptable, he risked his life, other people's lives and his job just because he couldn't be arsed to call a taxi. It sounds like this is part of a bigger drinking issue, why else would he go drinking knowing he had a flight in the morning?

Use this holiday to think over what you want to do. Sounds like you are better off holidaying without him.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 27/05/2025 15:17

This is not OK. What was he thinking? I am sorry you are having to deal with this.

One of my friends was prosecuted for drink driving. Her dd had taken an overdose and was touch and go in hospital. We live in the arse end of nowhere where you need to pre book a taxi a week in advance. She couldn't get hold of anyone as it was 2am

She got caught and thrown into a cell. She was distraught as she had no idea if her dd was even alive.

I still don't think it's OK, but I did have a lot of empathy for the situation she found herself in. Most dd situations are more straightforward though

BatchCookBabe · 27/05/2025 15:17

It's never right to drink and drive. I don't think there should even be a drink-drive limit, it should be ZERO alcohol. I feel tipsy on one pint of lager (2 halves,) yet I would be classed as under the limit. So I would be classed as OK to drive, but I'd be a bit trollied. (Can't take my drink these days!)

But like some others, I'm not sure what you're asking/saying @Lillylight

purplecorkheart · 27/05/2025 15:17

Awful that he risked his own life and more importantly other road users because he was so selfish.
Missed his flight because he was so drunk I would be furious.
Is this a one off or a regular occurance?

Original poster
Lillylight · 27/05/2025 15:18

Nothing but good old and (proper) straight talking here - thank you.

I did call the police and as one who would not ordinarily criticise the police (must be a very difficult job) they were not particularly helpful.

OP posts:
azafata2 · 27/05/2025 15:20

Sorry. This must be hard but it is serious.

isitmeamithedrama · 27/05/2025 15:23

its NEVER ok even for the shortest of journey.

why did he do it? Is it a regular occurrence?
id be considering my whole relationship and i don’t think its something I could ever forgive.

PrettyPuss · 27/05/2025 15:24

I would leave that relationship straight away. I would know that I couldn't never go near him again.

TheNightingalesStarling · 27/05/2025 15:25

The only excuse would be if someone's life was in danger (fleeing violence or getting someone to hospital) if there was genuinely no other option

Is his drinking a common problem or is this very out of character?

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 27/05/2025 15:27

Does he have a drinking problem or was this a one off?

Original poster
Lillylight · 27/05/2025 15:27

isitmeamithedrama · 27/05/2025 15:23

its NEVER ok even for the shortest of journey.

why did he do it? Is it a regular occurrence?
id be considering my whole relationship and i don’t think its something I could ever forgive.

Simple answer: His football team lost

Possible real answers: He’s stressed, we’d had an argument about his selfishness. He finds it hard to stop after one. He’s a childish idiot. Possibly others?!

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 27/05/2025 15:29

Is he a problem drinker generally?

azafata2 · 27/05/2025 15:29

Have you heard from him yet?

Lmnop22 · 27/05/2025 15:30

I couldn’t get past this. All it would’ve taken is a little bit less luck on his side and he would’ve killed someone! For what? Pure selfishness, laziness and poor planning on his part!!

Add to that the fact that he missed your holiday because he prioritised getting rat arsed the night before? Clearly the selfishness extends far beyond that one stupid (and likely unforgivable even alone) decision under the influence to drive home.

There is no excuse - if it were me I would want him gone by the time I got back from my holiday

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