I just don't have enough money

[36912aceg]

Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

i dont think you should cancel tv, but if possible move to sim only mine is on O2 for £8 pm

I don't think you can save your way out of low funds the only way is to increase your income.

@36912aceg - you say you use MoneySavingExpert. If you haven't already do https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/#spreadsheet this budget planner. Go through your bank statements for the past three months and be totally honest about your outgoings to get a true position.

You don't have to share it with anyone (although the Debt Free Wannabe board offers brilliant advice if you share your budget there ) but it will give you a much better idea of where you may be able to cut down.

As others have said - look at your utilities and phone contracts. Uswitch is great for finding cheaper deals and if you find something better that isn't a Uswitch specific deal, you can usually go through TopCashBack to get a bit extra.

If you are tied into your phone contracts, make sure you put the date in the diary when they end so you can switch to SIM only. Also look at broadband options which come with mobile phone addons. We saved quite a bit moving to EE for our broadband and my sim only mobile and because I have both, I get unlimited data for no extra cost.

For your house and life insurance use the tips pages and comparison tools on MSE: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/insurance/home-insurance/

Check you are on the best mortgage deal as well - https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/mortgages/

Take advantage of some of the bank accounts that offer bonuses for switching (but be careful to check minimum pay-ins each month) and make sure you have two accounts set up - one for your direct debit bills and one for everything else. Pay the amount you need for your direct debits in to the bills account each month (and a little extra as a buffer if you can spare it when you've done your budget). This will also give you a bit of a bonus in February and March when you don't pay council tax, water bills and TV license. Keep the rest in the other account.

If you use an account like Starling that has 'spaces' you can figure out how much you need annually for things like travel cards, uniform, insurance, christmas and birthday presents etc and calculate a monthly amount which you can move into the spaces - that then leaves you with the amount you have for food shopping etc.

Use https://www.entitledto.co.uk/ to make sure you are claiming everything you can.

In terms of jobs - for you, if you are already doing ironing, could you do cleaning as well? You say your DH is skilled - if there are no bar jobs, supermarket or warehouse jobs around, what about getting some extra self-employed work as a handy man?

Are his skills transferable to another industry? E.g. if he is a mechanic, what about fixing pressure washers or servicing other equipment?

Good luck OP and I hope things start to get better for you soon.

Sounds like the ironing and cleaning side hustle is going well and can be flexible around school drop offs, so look to increase that.

what can your husband do extra whilst he is on 30 hours a week? Simple gardening jobs, bank work in a care home, pub or hospital - whatever is nearby so reduces travek costs.

switching bank accounts is great - quite a few options out there and it is free money.

also look at doing online surveys for both of you. Not big income but every £20 or so helps.

@36912aceg - also meant to say, in terms of your teens travel costs, check with the LA if they offer any subsidy schemes - if you live more than two miles from the secondary school and the teen is in year 11 or below, the LA should fund the transport. If they are over 16, there are usually some subsidy options depending on where they are going to school / college.

There's also some ideas for increasing income here: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/boost-your-income/

and on the forum page here

Look up rebel finance school. They do a free YouTube course which helps you sort out your finances. Their course starts again next week.

Could you take a mortgage break for a few months? Or lengthen the term of the mortgage to reduce payments slightly? They may not sound like favourable options but might be just enough to keep you going until work hours increase.

I think the TooGoodToGo depends on what you get. I’ve had ones from Wenzels and Greggs which are very good value and froze the pasties for lunch every day.

agree that isn’t always the case, but if you are near a town centre it can be good.

we also have community fridges which are great for bread etc.

Check for benefit entitlement. Can kids get free bus travel I know they do in Scotland.
also for a month write down every single thing you spend it will show you where your money goes and how to cut down on spending.

Apologies if this has already been mentioned, not had time to read entire thread but wanted to reply as I do feel for you. I remember the struggle in early days when I only took home a tiny amount a month as interest rates were rising and after childcare, travel etc ate up my salary - it was draining.

If it's not already been mentioned. It's spreadsheet time. I found that was the only way I could really analyse my outgoings and debts.

Short term. Benefits check and interest rates check on any debts.

• I'd do a spreadsheet page just for debt interest to help you see exactly how that's impacting you and where it could be renegotiated.
• Maybe talk to a debt counselling charity.
• I see that you follow Moneysaving expert which is full of great advice - is worth doing another recheck?

Longer term.

• Is there anyway both of you could both retrain?
• Keep applying, see if you can get some job search help with CVs/applications.
• Can you bolster your chances or references/networking by short term voluntary work in the job area you are looking in.
• this approach worked for my friend's son was job hunting for a year before they got something full time, they did pub shifts and helped at local sports clubs for references but now they are sorted.

It's hard going. but you sound like a very sensible, capable and efficient person make this work. I wish you all the best.

Love it

I'm struggling for money

But, we have

Expensive phone contracts and furniture on payment

as everyone has said, the main issue is you don't have enough money coming in. If the median full time salary is £37,430, some people will only be supporting themselves on that wage (or more) whereas it sounds like you are earning less than that between both of you and supporting at least 4 people on it. Even 2 people working full time on minimum wage would be bringing in just under £50k a year.

Not that that makes it easier, or 'your fault', obviously for it to be the median average wage there are going to be a lot of people not earning that much.

I appreciate the point with the kids parties - people say on here 'just a card and a box of maltesers is fine' - but a little box of maltesers used to be a quid not long ago whereas it's over £3 now (and £6 for a bigger one!). On one hand £3 might not break the bank, on the other hand a 200% increase is insane, I don't think anyone's wages have gone up that much!

Are you friends with some other parents, could you chat with them and agree to not swap presents within your circle? that could take some pressure off. are the kids old enough to drop and run? You could tie in the bus fare with something you need to do/go anyway (shopping trip etc) so you're only paying once? But ultimately don't feel guilty if they miss a few parties - there are so many when they're young they all blur into one anyway, and there will always be kids missing different ones because they're ill or on holiday or visiting grandma or with their other parent or at a sports competition or whatever.

What's your average monthly income (if it fluctuates, what's the range of income?) and what are your main outgoings?

If you give us those people can give you specific advice to help. This is an anonymous forum so obviously no one will know who you are if you're worried about that

@coxesorangepippinhow is £16 monthly phone contract expensive?

Is £16 a month an expensive phone contract? Genuinely asking as I have one that costs only a bit less than that, on a friend and family discount, and I own the phone myself so don’t have to pay for that. Or is it actually £50 a month for each of them which does seem expensive and surely needs to be cut down if at all possible. Have read the post twice and can’t work it out.

I don’t know your income or outgoings but my advise if to take care of ‘the 4 walls’ before anything else..

1. food. Cheap from Lidl that’s meal planned
2. gas, electric, council tax
3. mortgage

Now everybody is warm with full bellies and a roof over their heads look at what’s next but all this comes after the basics ie transport, paying debts, subscriptions etc

If there isn’t enough for those basics and you are prioritising them over everything else then I would suggest checking for any benefit entitlement and making use of food banks whilst you both work extra hours to get the income up. £85 per month ironing isn’t a lot, are there any evening positions in supermarkets, McDonald’s etc that can bring more income in? It sounds tough and I’m sorry your family are struggling

The crux of the issue here is that you are both working part time and you have children. It cannot be an expectation to save or be comfortable while living like this

There is no mystery as to why you don’t have enough money - it’s because your husband’s job has been unfortunately changed from full time at one rate to only 3 days at a lower rate. He is underemployed and needs a 2nd job if the first one is essentially dead. I know that getting any kind of job is an utter bastard at the moment. Can he take on a 2nd job with shifts at the weekend if he’s having 2 days that he can’t work in the week?

@BloominNora very well said 👍

It’s all very well telling the OP and OH to retrain, do more hours etc, but that will take time, they need it now plus they’re exhausted.
The main things they can do is explore any benefits they are entitled to, join a good to go scheme for food, or use the food bank if desperate.
Possibly try cashback or freeclub schemes or similar to get free samples- small but it all helps.

How do they get out of paying for the furniture??

We are all exhausted…I’m not saying they shouldn’t look at benefits but they need to do something about it themselves instead of just learning to rely on benefits more

Your DH should be taking in ironing, looking for cleaning jobs or delivery jobs while his usual work is quiet.

but it is hard out there- don’t beat yourself up.

Could you talk to your bank about taking a short mortgage payment break? Three months would allow you to build up a better cushion of savings, while you try to increase income. It's a tough time but fingers crossed for you.

There are 1.6 million people in this country who are unemployed (excluding those who are employed but wanting or needing second jobs) and this month there were only 761,000 vacancies. Everyone suggesting bar work, supermarkets or becoming a TA like those jobs are 10 a penny are just being disingenuous

@BloominNora That figure includes NEETS many of whom are not looking for work and are economically inactive. There is almost 1 million NEETS ( aged 16-24.) Not in employment or education.

One reason that pubs are closing is that they can't get staff.

There are jobs but the OP and her H need to start thinking about up-skilling.
As everyone has said they are not even bringing in one minimum wage full time salary because of their reduced hours.

He works 3 days a week, she works around 15 hours.

It's hardly complicated to see why they're struggling.

Can you seek advice from a careers or recruitment agency?

I used to be in roles where I had to recruit lower skilled workers (such as shop assistants/reception workers) and there were so many poor quality CVs and covering letters sent in. Make sure yours stands out.
If you can’t access these services, even try using chatGPT or similar to boost the wording on your CVs and applications so you can at least get interviews.

Have you considered night college?

Could your teen get any work for some pocket money instead of relying on you? Paper round, babysitting etc

Aren't you then ambushed with extra interest charges if you do that?