I just don't have enough money

[36912aceg]

Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

In no modern world can 2 people work part time and survive. The mortgage rates have completely stuffed us and we have no fun money left whatsoever despite both having good jobs and both full time.

if I were you I’d apply somewhere like Tesco / Waitrose where they are flexible around shifts for parents but better still you get 20% what you buy in store. Imagine earning more AND getting 20% off food shopping, kids uniform etc.

Sorry you are in this position OP!

You say "the money is missing". You live frugally. It is clear to me that this is due to your husband's drop in hours as he was earning double at one point. Your lifestyle has gradually built around this premise, then his salary has dropped significantly due to an hourly pay drop as well as a reduction in hours.

In a nutshell, your husband needs a better paying and more stable job. Of course, if you can also find a better paying job, that will also be a bonus. One or both of you needs to get out of your comfort zone and look at other roles, even if it is unfamiliar. Try hard enough and you will achieve this and then wonder why you spent so long doing what you were doing.

Good luck OP!

Do you not get child benefit, or any universal credit, you may be entitled to some

No, it’s not safe to assume. The schools could be far apart and/or start at different times. I had to be at my secondary half an hour earlier than my primary and they were 1.5 miles apart. There is no way I could have taken my younger sibling to school first.

Fucking hell - the privilege on display in this thread is astonishing!

Yes, @36912aceg and her husband need to look at getting second jobs / additional hours but all of the people saying that they can do it easily or the teen can get a job are deluded.

Both DH and I grew up in households where we suffered real poverty at times - my dad worked full time in a manual job and worked in pubs on Friday nights, Saturday nights and Sunday lunchtimes, my mom worked a lot of evenings cleaning or in supermarket cafes when my brother was little, so she could be at home in the day. DH's mom was a mobile hairdresser and used to go out on a Sunday night to cut hair, just so DH and his brother could have lunch money for school the next day! Both DH and I started working at 13 to earn our own money and paid for all of our own driving lessons, insurance, clothes etc.

But it was a different time then - there were a lot more jobs around but that isn't the case now - and it would certainly be close to impossible for an under16 to get a job anywhere with the rules around children working these days!

There are 1.6 million people in this country who are unemployed (excluding those who are employed but wanting or needing second jobs) and this month there were only 761,000 vacancies. Everyone suggesting bar work, supermarkets or becoming a TA like those jobs are 10 a penny are just being disingenuous.

Pubs are closing left, right and center and pretty much all of the major supermarkets have announced that they are cutting 000's jobs over the next few months which not only reduces the opportunities available, but will bounce a load more people into looking for those 'easy' to get low wage jobs - some of whom will be looking for full time and not just second jobs! Schools are cutting TAs because they don't have the budgets and where there are TA jobs available, there tends to be a load of teachers who want to reduce their workload applying.

On top of that they don't have a car - which means they will be limited to second jobs that can be done using public transport which, unless you are in the middle of a city or large town is generally shit!

Also the suggestions of cutting streaming services when the family don't have any spare cash for any other kind of entertainment or hobbies!

People really need to start living in the real world and show a bit of empathy and check their privilege!

Or dental appointments, prescription costs, school trips, stationary and books for school, costs for maintaining the house - e.g. gas safety check. I have a teenage boy and a pre-teen boy and they cost me a fortune. They are constantly growing and eat huge amounts.

I can’t believe people are so conditioned in this country to thinking this situation is normal and ok. Yes they can up their hours, get educated, do different jobs, if it was soo bloody easy do u think they would be posting?? Do u think there would be hundreds of thousands in the same position as them all over the UK? Some of you seriously need to look at working poverty and educate yourselves to how this country is keeping the poor poor and the rich richer. It’s not as easy as counting the figures and adjusting accordingly. Some people are starving themselves today to manage to the end of this month. Working full time. Would like to see you judgy ones giving up your kids phones and tv

Income is clearly the issue here. Your DPs wage is really low. My 24yr old son has got a temporary job that requires no skill and is on 25k and my daughter who has just finished uni has taken a cleaner job in a care home and is bringing in 26k. You both need to look at your employment opportunities.

@36912aceg Just wanted to give you my hand to hold! It’s so bloody hard isn’t it. You’re allowed to have a little whinge every now and then, it sounds like you've decided what you want to change to make it better but it doesn’t stop the awful sinking feeling in the meantime does it.

I was in a similar situation a while back, though single parent with 3dc, and got a pub/restaurant cleaning job 5-7am 6 days a week on top of my normal full time office job. 6 months of that was enough to pay off the small bits of outstanding loans (eg furniture like you mentioned) and build up a little buffer until things improved overall. I was knackered mind you (told my kids I was going to gym- two are older teens and responsible enough if there was a need but mostly they were sleeping bed and I was back in time to wake them up for school).

Someone else mentioned Dave Ramsey up thread and whilst it’s really full on and a bit judgey, some of the principles really helped me.

Sorry things are hard going right now x

Whenever there is a post where somebody is understandably struggling the call is to give up what little pleasure they have. Subscriptions or phones and cower under a blanket eating lentils.

The point is that they are NOT both working, two part-time equals one wage. Never in all of UK history has a single low-educated worker been able to comfortably support 5 people's full living costs.

Hospitality sector is crying out for people atm, and part time roles are out there in this sector. You could top up your hours doing something like this to 40 a week which would help.

Does your Hs income all go into a joint pot OP - because in theory it should be tight but doable - I’m wondering if he has quite a few hundred to himself and you have zilch

That's tough OP.

I think it's worth looking closely at your food spending as this is the other major cost that you haven't itemized.

Getting more detailed about this and what all the rest of the things you are spending money on (clothes, kids' clubs/pocket money) might identify whether there are any other areas you can cut back, or if everything is necessary spending.

This is my thought too. You really need to earn more money. That’s the fundamental problem. Easier said than done, I know.

This thread is painful. With two part time low wages and children in the household it’s really not going to be easy!

There are jobs, care, hospitality etc to cover the requirements of having to do school pick ups.

My son was offered a couple of jobs in care and one in hospitality whilst he was on a gap year. He had no experience but he knew he had to take one of them.

It’s irrelevant what your partner used to earn. There also seems to be gaps in your outgoings. Child benefit?

They’re not working full time. They’re also in a surplus of £1.2k a month.

You've answered your own question. The pair of you are between you earning less than someone working a full week on minimum wage. You both seem to have settled long-term for the kind of jobs that people do for a short while until something better comes along. Most people do those jobs short-term while actively looking for something more permanent and stable to move on to. That's the way you create a stable life and income. You don't just do whatever's available. How about retraining and upskilling for both of you?

Your outgoings sound not to dissimilar to mine numbers wise.
but I’m on maternity leave at £800 a month.
dP on £2300 a month
and we are struggling on that so I’m going back to work early

your only option I think is finding more work ie a shop job or something?

Phone bills are easily fixed. Lebrara (uses vodaphoneL and smarty (uses three) are both £5-6/m for around 30-40gb just choose which has the best parent network for your location

I hate to say this as I’m all for women working - but have you calculated if you might be not much worse off not working at all , getting ‘some’ UC and actually spending the extra time retraining into something with better longer term pay and prospects .

I being harsh here I know but I suspect the OP is being fussy about what she takes. I have a friend who had been ‘looking’ for a job for nearly 2 years. She lives in Bucks can drive but she wants a term
time only role and to finish by 1500. I suggested a super market role but she turned her nose up. She didn’t want to be seen serving a neighbour.

The OP is taking in ironing, I don't think that's a sign she's being fussy or worried what other people think of her

Are you claiming everything you can? Citizens advice can help and check you are receiving all the benefits you are entitled to.

Ironing round here costs £20-£25 per hour. She could do more ironing?