I just don't have enough money

[36912aceg]

Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

@pelargoniumsDolly Parton definitely wasn’t talking about social work!

I realise the chat has moved on- but I think it’s sad OP is letting her children miss out on parties because she can’t afford to buy a card.

Can’t your children make a card for free?

Seems a strange thing to opt out of. Going to a party is free entertainment.

no decent person would care that you didn’t put a fiver in the card.

Yes, really. Most people I know do eight hour days, including an hour for lunch.

The ones who do work longer shifts have extra days off to compensate.

My longest day last week was 7.30am to 9.45pm…I took 20 mins for lunch.

That's not something for anyone to aspire to.

Well as I said that was my longest day but it’s not unusual for my profession…I take it that you don’t know many people in professional roles. Very few of my friends, whether they be lawyers, or doctors, teachers, social workers, midwives etc., work 9 to 5.

I wonder if @36912aceg is coming back
or has at least read taken any of the suggestions on board. Good luck, OP!

Guess depends on the job /profession

nannies work 10/11/12 hour days as have a usual 9hr days to cover plus then the employers travel to their job/office so adds on 1-2/3hrs

plus then their own travel

i have been out of my house for 13hrs often. Work 7-7 and 30m travel

I know plenty of people in professional roles - none of them regularly work 12-14 hour days.

The fact that those hours have become "normal" for you is incredibly depressing IMO.

Very few people in professional roles work 9 to 5. You are deluded if you believe they do.

And I didn’t say that 12-14 was normal for me. I gave an example of my longest day last week.

It is depressing. I feel it’s got worse over the years and it’s another aspect of Americanism coming over here, except in America they have the high salaries to compensate!

I worked in a junior PR role many years ago for a US company. I knew my U.S. based counterparts at the same level were earning around double.

It was normal for me to work 8am to 7pm due to my huge workload although official hours were 9-5.

I didn’t last long as the idea of working that much for so little, so men at the top could stay and get rich annoyed me.

Maybe I am deluded, but at least I'm not working stupid hours on a regular basis!

My longest day this week was six and a half hours

That's just ridiculous. It's insane to me that hours like that have become normalised for so many people.

What’s your salary?

I know it’s outrageous. I spent the whole 5 months working there feeling like they were taking the piss out of me.

If we are going to have long hours in the UK they need to do something about the wage suppression at the very least.

It’s a shame so many have just rolled over and accepted the toxic combination of long hours and low pay.

I have mates in London who work long hours in finance and corporate law, and they are paid very well so I get it, but IMO the average worker in the UK isn’t paid enough to work excessive hours.

25k, self-employed on about an average of 25 hours a week. I could earn more if I worked full-time, but I'm autistic and that's just not possible for me.

Yep, I think unless you earn real mega-bucks and will be able to retire at something like 45, there's just no benefit in working stupidly long hours for years on end - it's depressing that so many people roll over and accept it, as you say.

Both DH and I chose lifestyles that mean we don't need to work full-time and I am eternally glad for that.

Both DH and I chose lifestyles that mean we don't need to work full-time and I am eternally glad for that.

That sounds amazing. I do 4 days a week in a day job AND I do extra hours on my freelance work.

I’m hoping to eventually work 4 days just doing my contract/freelance work which I love.

We're very lucky - we live in a super cheap area which helps, and we don't have children so it's just "us". We both work in jobs we love, thankfully, which helps massively!

If she lives somewhere cheap it will I imagine be lower than London before you smugly tell her she isn’t highly paid.

I don’t work more than my set hours either. Tbh in my industry the people who work long hours (and there are many) tend to be the weaker team members.

You mean you know very few people in professional roles working 9 to 5. Your experience /= fact. In any case, OP has said she’s unskilled; she’s not going to go off and be a lawyer, doctor, midwife, teacher or the other roles you mentioned. If she listens to advice on this thread to work full-time, she’ll be aiming for 35, 37.5 or 40 hours a week, depending on the organisation’s definition of full time. Personally I’d recommend she looks at companies that operate a four-day week without loss of pay, which would solve her money worries but still allow her to do one school pickup. Five Hour Club and Ten 2 Two are also good places to look for decently paid, shorter-hours roles.

I asked the question because, in my experience, it’s unusual to have a high salary and short hours. My DH is the exception because he works 30-35 hours and has a six figure income. BUT all his clients are in the UK whereas I cover multiple time zones. So my hours are nothing to do with me being a weak team member if that is what you are implying. My boss is eight hours behind me but I also deal with people in the Middle East who are four hours ahead (and many more in between). The perils of working for a global company…but I enjoy it and I get rewarded well so I am not complaining!

Yes, somewhere very cheap and a long way away from London (thankfully!).

I’m not implying anything, I’ve never met you and have no idea what you do. But sometimes long hours is because of incompetence. Clearly not always the case there are some jobs, often not even the highest paid that sound horrifying frankly.

Exactly, you don’t know me but you accused me of being smug….