I just don't have enough money

[36912aceg]

Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

Can you look for a full time job? Many of us would struggle on two part time salaries.

Rather than money disappearing, I’m going to guess a couple of key things have changed.

1. Between you you’re actually working / earning less than you have previously. When you were a sahm and partner worked full time in an above minimum wage job then you had one full time job paying over minimum wage. You’ve now got one part time at minimum wage, and one part time at a small amount over.
2. Mortgage payments have gone up? Taking a bit of a guess at when you bought, your initial deal may have been very low interest and you’re now on a higher rate. If you haven’t already, it’s worth looking at whether you’re in a fixed deal at the moment, and what rate you’re paying. If you’re going to struggle to meet your mortgage payment call the bank and talk to them. It’s much much better that way than missing a payment.
3. Check benefits eligibility- the thresholds are fairly high and you might qualify for something some months. Yes, it may also want you to work more but that may help spot ways to do that you haven’t seen.

You must be budgeting really well to make things even vaguely work with that little income.

Well it's obvious - your DH is working only part time so his contribution to the pot has greatly reduced!

He needs to get other work to up his hours. Perhaps you could also get more work - one of you do evening shifts maybe?

outgoings are
710 mortgage
150 gas and electricity (varies month to month)
30 water
50 phone contracts (x3 for me husband and teen)
30 bus fair for teen
40 furniture payment (OK I forgot about this debt)
160 Council tax
15 streaming services
45 my travel
husbands travel varies
then for food shopping we spend the rest. which obviously is going up and up.

I earn 200 a week so 800 a month
husband about 1600 a month but that varies
he used to get 6-800 a week but now it's more like 3-400

outgoings are
710 mortgage
150 gas and electricity (varies month to month)
30 water
50 phone contracts (x3 for me husband and teen)
30 bus fair for teen
40 furniture payment (OK I forgot about this debt)
160 Council tax
15 streaming services
45 my travel
husbands travel varies
then for food shopping we spend the rest. which obviously is going up and up.

I earn 200 a week so 800 a month
husband about 1600 a month but that varies
he used to get 6-800 a week but now it's more like 3-400

Without knowing what your income is and what you currently spend money on, it's almost impossible to make suggestions. Do you buy anything that's unnecessary? TV subscriptions? Takeaways? Alcohol? Magazines? Getting your nails done? Cigarettes? Coffee when you're out? Lottery tickets? Maybe make a list of everything you spend money on for a month. You might be surprised where the money goes.

Sounds like you are already cautious about outgoings. Not very clear what type of jobs you have but sound comparatively unskilled? Well done for trying to take on more.

Unfortunately you need to see this as a project to increase your skill. For example, when my team advertise lower level admin helpdesk type roles which are a career route to higher things, we now get an average of 40 applications per job. Probably at least 30 of them will be from overseas students who have come to the U.K. to study masters degrees but usually for many this is a route into the country to then obtain a post grad visa ( granted automatically). So they are already highly qualified and have often done work experience roles whilst studying. I’m sorry to say but when using standard scoring, most “local” candidates struggle and get sifted out and not interviewed as we can never interview more than 5. This is I’m afraid the whole immigration debate and really the country has been getting fairly saturated with graduate migrants who out compete local workers…but I would say are also prepared to do the unattractive roles like care work. Until the requirements for post grad work is tightened to be relevant then this will continue and we will not skill up our own workers.

For this type of admin role, you need to try and get some basic admin experience., even some temping type and then progress to full time. Next step, service/IT Helpdesk type role and then on. Not easy but that’s what many do

Re cost of living. Yes everyone if feeling it, but you have less capacity to soak up all the additional tax rises from frozen tax bands. No hope of this improving as this gov just don’t understand economics or be willing to cut spending. It is only getting worse and hence why a lot of skilled workers (not millionaires) are moving abroad. Other staying cut their hours to move to lower tax bands. Whole country is a mess I’m afraid.

If your jobs aren't giving you enough hours then you need to find something that gives you stable , regular hours.

yep this is us. its not nice at all but we were renting a 2 bed flat for more in the same area.

can your dh work weekends somewhere? behind the bar?

This isn’t going to help much but there are a few banks out there offering switch deals (up to £175), it doesn’t need to be your main bank account but there are things you need to do before getting the money (download the app and use the debit card for instance).

Sorry - just saw your update. Could the streaming services go?

@36912aceg I think you should download the Olio app instead of using 2goodtogo. They connect users of their app with free food being given away …. I do realise you don’t have a car but hopefully you can walk there. A friend uses this app and gets a lot of good quality food that the shops can no longer sell. It could save at least £20 minimum off your weekly shop. Do you live in a big city as then its more likely you will find multiple collection points. My friends receives fruit, veg, bread, chilled products ect including cheese, milk and ready meals. Hope this helps x

What has happened in your husbands job that he’s now getting half the hours? That’s the issue here, his income has dropped massively. What’s he doing to get the hours back up or look for a job at the hours/pay he had previously?

You need to apply for universal credit whilst looking for better jobs

How old are your children?

have you tried more veggie meals?
lentil spaghetti, cheaper than mince
chick pea curry cheaper than chicken curry

It's not your outgoings, it's two part time low income jobs.

What are your skills/experience? There must be a way to get you more than min wage

wage varies due to work availability and there is just no work

I earn 200 a week so 800 a month
husband about 1600 a month but that varies
he used to get 6-800 a week but now it's more like 3-400

The issue is he is working fewer hours - he needs more hours from somewhere. He needs a new job or a second job.

Would you be able to do your travel on a bike?

Good luck to get new work 💐

Also you can get your phone bill down if you move all 3 contracts to 02 ( I have for myself plus my children - 3 contracts £30 a month all in). You will likely get Disney plus for 6 months free too plus get then 02 priority app where you get freebies or discounts on Greggs ect which is nice.

You both need to increase your hours. Sorry it’s tough.
i also have to say that I would always be happy to welcome a child at my child’s
party without a present. I have suspected before that someone has cancelled because they couldn’t afford the present and it made me very sad. A party is for the birthday child to enjoy a fun afternoon with their friends not to get lots of presents. Kids get lots of presents these days anyway.

Yes this! Can you take more cleaning jobs? In our area cleaners are in high demand and ask for £15-£20 per hour.

Have a listen to Dave Ramsey. It’s a bit American but they have such a different attitude to work out there. He would be saying you both need to be delivering pizzas (or cleaning, bar work, care work) tonight. Then look for full time work. 30 hours a week is not full time. Minimum 40. With a teen one of you could easily pull 60 hours a week for a few months to build up an emergency fund. The other can do 40. That would literally double your income right now. If not more than that if you are doing less than 20.

Then look to upskill and retrain.

Good luck.

So your income is £2400 a month and your outgoings are £1230 plus DHs travel? how much is travel? Food you could do for £500 a month so that should leave £650 for DHs travel and some savings? Tight but doable.