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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just don't have enough money

728 replies

36912aceg · 27/05/2025 06:19

Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Loveduppenguin · 27/05/2025 06:22

if you’re willing to post your income vs outgoings we might be able to help a bit more.

justkeepswimingswiming · 27/05/2025 06:22

You need to look at your outgoings not just your incomings. Anything like phone bills or car bills you can cut down on? I agree though it’s all mighty depressing you’re not alone.

Pickley981 · 27/05/2025 06:23

What is your income?

HoppingPavlova · 27/05/2025 06:24

Completely depends on outgoings?

Overthebow · 27/05/2025 06:25

What is your income and your outgoings? Do you both work full time?

LadyGillingham · 27/05/2025 06:25

You said you both work, but you also said you made £85?

How old are the children? Can you go back to work full time?

Sofiewoo · 27/05/2025 06:25

How much are you actually working for your job? £85 on the side isn’t very much, if it’s supplementing a very small income it’s not exactly going to fill the deficit.

Pickley981 · 27/05/2025 06:32

I just don’t get it

nor do I. You both work.
you have a side hustle of ironing.
you live very modestly
neither of you drive
you don’t appear to have e any debt whatsoever

something is missing here op

WombForTwo · 27/05/2025 06:33

Income? Outgoings? We can’t say much without knowing that

Original poster
36912aceg · 27/05/2025 06:33

I'm on min wage and my husband is on 16 am hour.
wage varies due to work availability and there is just no work. Well that's not true, there is some work but not enough work and at least I know for sure that both of our colleagues are in the same boat.
I'm scared and feel trapped.

there's not much we can cut back on, we use 2good2go for cheap food top up, what else? no phone bills or car bills no debt
We saved for 6/7 years for our house (cheapest in our city) and have kept up the lifestyle. We used to overpay the mortgage when we first moved in as we tried to keep our savings levels the same. But works slowly dwindled and bills have creeped up.

I sort of wish we'd stayed renting as at least we would have a safety net of benefits paying the rent if we lose a job or the landlord would have to pay for big repairs. i feel sick despite getting up for work every day we have no money!. I just can't believe it's come to this.
I've read these threads on COL crisis on here. Sure things weren't peachy but we were getting on fine, I was ahead of the curve as I increased my income, had savings and kept saving.
where has it gone? why isn't that enough?

we are both applying for new jobs aswell, no luck. I need more hours really but there's not much out there

OP posts:
Pickley981 · 27/05/2025 06:34

So how many hours a week do you and your partner actually work?

and if very low income, UC will be present too

Pickley981 · 27/05/2025 06:35

Given you describe both jobs as very low income and sporadic hours… I am surprised you secured what would have been a sizeable mortgage with £15k deposit

Pickley981 · 27/05/2025 06:36

This is going to be one of those threads where getting clarity and figures from the OP is like pulling teeth!

Bjorkdidit · 27/05/2025 06:36

Assuming this isn't just one of those posts where you just want a moan and for everyone else to sympathise, you need to either earn more or reduce what you spend, being honest about needs and wants.

It's a different picture if your income genuinely doesn't cover modest essential expenses vs you're spending more than you need to on variable expenses like groceries, mobiles, broadband, subscriptions etc or are buying lunches, coffees or anything else that can use up a lot of money and are really a luxury if your budget is tight.

You say you follow Martin Lewis but have you honestly reviewed your overall budget? Have a look at:

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

Original poster
36912aceg · 27/05/2025 06:36

Pickley981 · 27/05/2025 06:32

I just don’t get it

nor do I. You both work.
you have a side hustle of ironing.
you live very modestly
neither of you drive
you don’t appear to have e any debt whatsoever

something is missing here op

Edited

yes the money is missing !

OP posts:
WombForTwo · 27/05/2025 06:37

36912aceg · 27/05/2025 06:33

I'm on min wage and my husband is on 16 am hour.
wage varies due to work availability and there is just no work. Well that's not true, there is some work but not enough work and at least I know for sure that both of our colleagues are in the same boat.
I'm scared and feel trapped.

there's not much we can cut back on, we use 2good2go for cheap food top up, what else? no phone bills or car bills no debt
We saved for 6/7 years for our house (cheapest in our city) and have kept up the lifestyle. We used to overpay the mortgage when we first moved in as we tried to keep our savings levels the same. But works slowly dwindled and bills have creeped up.

I sort of wish we'd stayed renting as at least we would have a safety net of benefits paying the rent if we lose a job or the landlord would have to pay for big repairs. i feel sick despite getting up for work every day we have no money!. I just can't believe it's come to this.
I've read these threads on COL crisis on here. Sure things weren't peachy but we were getting on fine, I was ahead of the curve as I increased my income, had savings and kept saving.
where has it gone? why isn't that enough?

we are both applying for new jobs aswell, no luck. I need more hours really but there's not much out there

That still doesn’t help.

We need a detailed breakdown of your income and outgoings every month. we need to know how many hours you work a month, why you’re working full time if you’re not and what room for progression there is. If you’re bringing in net £3k a month but £2k goes to serving debt, we need to know that.

Jellycatspyjamas · 27/05/2025 06:37

Pickley981 · 27/05/2025 06:35

Given you describe both jobs as very low income and sporadic hours… I am surprised you secured what would have been a sizeable mortgage with £15k deposit

It depends on where you live. Parts of where I live you could get a 3 bed house for £150k - not the nicest places to live but you’d have a 10% deposit.

Original poster
36912aceg · 27/05/2025 06:39

Pickley981 · 27/05/2025 06:35

Given you describe both jobs as very low income and sporadic hours… I am surprised you secured what would have been a sizeable mortgage with £15k deposit

house was 140k we had a 10% deposit

sorry its not made sense, I work part time, my husband and works (worked?) full time. His hours have dwindled he is now working equivalent of 3 days a week. 30 hours.

OP posts:
Bjorkdidit · 27/05/2025 06:39

Ah, cross posted. Yes, I can see how you're struggling if you're on low wages and you're not getting full time hours, as well as costs going up.

Have you applied for universal credit? You might be entitled to something based on low income and any childcare costs. But otherwise you both need to try to get any second job you can, or try and expand the self employed work - cleaning can be particularly lucrative as you can charge at least probably £15-20 ph depending on your area.

justkeepswimingswiming · 27/05/2025 06:39

Well we’ve asked for your incomings/outgoings and you won’t post them. Not sure how you expect people to help. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Loveduppenguin · 27/05/2025 06:40

36912aceg · 27/05/2025 06:39

house was 140k we had a 10% deposit

sorry its not made sense, I work part time, my husband and works (worked?) full time. His hours have dwindled he is now working equivalent of 3 days a week. 30 hours.

Show quote history

So that’s your answer…your husband is not working the hours he used to work. So therefore he’s not bringing the money he used to bring in.

it’s good that you’re both looking for jobs already. Do you know how much you’re both take in per month?

flossydog · 27/05/2025 06:42

I would sit down with your statements and work out where it's going. A birthday card and a bus ticket shouldn't be a big spend. It sounds like you're both not getting the hours you once had. If that's true, then you might both want to look at different work.

(If it is a case of missing money then worst case scenario one of you has a hidden vice.)

WombForTwo · 27/05/2025 06:42

36912aceg · 27/05/2025 06:39

house was 140k we had a 10% deposit

sorry its not made sense, I work part time, my husband and works (worked?) full time. His hours have dwindled he is now working equivalent of 3 days a week. 30 hours.

Show quote history

Then this is why. You’re trying to live on two part time salaries. Your husband needs to find full time work, and so do you.

Sofiewoo · 27/05/2025 06:44

You both work low wage jobs and neither of you work full time hours it seems. It’s frustrating it feels like you have less but I don’t understand your confusion over it.

Koalafan · 27/05/2025 06:45

It seems like at least one of you needs to work more hours.
It's also not the end of world to miss the odd birthday party though, children's parties have become very grabby and there's often better things to spend a limited imcome on.