I just don't have enough money

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Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

100% agree.

Of course it depends on the working hours . No work . No pay . And they are not living in third world conditions at all .

Course you are struggling if dh used to earn £6/800 a week and now £1600 a month. That’s half of what he used to earn

you 200 a week. That’s 16hrs ish at nmw

kids are teens so you both need to work more. 2nd job.

no offence but 16 hrs /£200 a week is nothing and need to up it big time

extra work - cleaning - waitress - bar work - evening work - macdonalds - coffee shops etx - care home - night staff

even if you applied for uc - as a mortgage no help there and you and dh wouid have to make the mif as have older kids - like dh and I did with a 6/7yr and we ended up getting think £67 a month as no reason why we both shouldn’t been working full time

phone contracts. Is that £50 for 3. Or 50 x 3 so £150 a month

What a bizarre comment

Living like what? They own a house, have kids and work part time on low wages. Yes, they will be struggling. But the figures don't indicate abject poverty.

They don't have car bills.

...

You can’t afford to be both working part time. You both need to be applying every month for full time jobs. Even if just one of you got a full time job it would help a lot.

And I think you did do the right thing buying a property even if it feels harder right now. Once the mortgage is paid off it will feel amazing to own that asset for life & no more mortgage or rent to pay.

Two adults working fairly pitiful part time hours and yet living in a property they own with no other debt mentioned …. I mean my heart doesn’t exactly bleed for them

Again

All of these are perfectly possible these days without there being something more. The cost of living has rocketed.

Yes but when OP’s set spends are £1230 a month and her husband brings home £1600, there’s something missing.

If you are on minimum wage and partner 30 hours *£16/hr, that's £3330 net per month.
Mortgage of £125k would be around £675 per month.
Typical bills for council tax, water, electricity, gas etc £800-£1000.

You should have at a minimum £1500 for your food, clothes and entertainment as a family; childcare presumably isn't an issue with the hours being worked? You don't need to disclose what you're spending money on if you don't want to, but it does mean you won't get any help getting to the root of your issues.

I've only read your posts OP, so apologies if these have already been stated...

you say your gas and electricity varies - are you on the standard variable tariff? Get yourself on a fixed tariff ASAP. They tend to be cheaper than a variable and you pay the same amount each month. Use a comparison website to find the cheapest and switch.

Phone contracts - are they all still in contract? Could you move any of them to a cheap SIM only deal? Again, use a comparison website to find the cheapest.

Streaming services - do you need all of them? Are there any you aren't really using that can be cancelled?

I'm so sorry that you're going through this and I know your story, sadly, isn't uncommon. I think as a society, we should be ashamed that this is the reality for a lot of people in the UK in the 21st Century.

If your husband's hours have dropped to 30, then he needs to get a new job that's 40 hours with the potential to do overtime. Could you work more hours? Maybe a night time job, or part time cleaning homes? My friend cleans houses, she gets £20 per hour and only works 4 hours a day. She printed some cards and posted them through the letter boxes, her customers are elderly people.

I'm sorry OP, that's really rubbish. Would it make financial sense for your DH to look for full time hours elsewhere? Even if his hourly rate was lower, he might end up better off.

If his industry is struggling, this might mean looking for entry level roles or something that doesn't require specific qualifications (supermarkets, call centres etc.). I appreciate this might be a difficult decision, especially if he has worked hard to build qualifications and experience in his chosen career, but hopefully it would only be for the short term.

Good luck.

I definitely need to upskill
I'm unskilled.
my husband is very skilled and very known in his line of work. hes even been on the website and named and thanked for his contributions. However its just dead at the moment.
he wanted to leave anyway but he's been looking for a job for the past 18 months ( when I got my part time job and the pressure was off him he's started looking, happy to start at the bottom of a ladder he wants to climb etc. But now he feels like he's stuck again. )
I'm really proud of my husband. he's got great work ethic, he's really skilled but he's incredibly depressed. we both feel just trapped.

I'm looking but there is no luck. I have received 0 replies.

I am OK I could do more but I need to be available for school pick up and drop off. Wrap around care at school is an option but you're not garuntred a place. and a childminder for after school for them would be too costly atm. it's literally just logistics woth childcare.
give it a few years and my youngest will be in secondary school but for now we are tied up.

There’s no mention of things like TVlicense, broadband, insurance policies, DH’s travel wasn’t included…..plus food, clothes, school uniform, shoes for growing kids, it’s not a huge amount left over for 4 or more people.

How far are you into your mortgage term? Could you switch? Could you take a mortgage break (it used to be a thing, just whilst you rebuild your savings and sort out your jobs situation)
Can you reduce your bills? Phone bills, gas and electricity?
is the streaming service necessary?
have you also tried olio for food.

Shop around for different phone deals.... can you loose the streaming services?
Maybe sign up with an agency for extra work on the days you don't work. Possibly also for your husband...

Nationwide give all members £100, or £50, every so often on every account. It’s part of it being a building society. Can’t count on it but each time it happens I get the money in my account and we get it in our joint account too.

when we were struggling i worked evenings/weekends as well as my day time job, while dh was at home
didnt bring in much but it helped

Phone contracts way to much… look at something costing £10 per month

Your phone costs are high, when are you and your husbands phone contracts up. You need to go sim only. I pay 8.00 a month for SIM only.

Do you have internet costs?

I know it's tough I do full time job plus an evening one to make ends meet.

You may have said but can you get more hours at your job?

I have a mortgage and an account with nationwide

they have just given £50.

it is very very very rare and actually made the news