I just don't have enough money

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Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

Increase your hours or find different jobs. Your husband isn't earning enough for you to be working only part time.

I earn 200 a week so 800 a month
husband about 1600 a month but that varies
he used to get 6-800 a week but now it's more like 3-400

So your husband earns half his previous wage and your income only brings that up to 3/4 of the total previous earnings.
You know why you have less money, you need to be clear about that and move forward. Your husband needs to work full time hours and you need to find a job with more hours too, £800 a month isn’t going to go far.

You need to work full time. So does your husband. If you can’t find full time work, you need to get another part time job.

You should apply for Universal Credit.

This should make you eligible for council tax reduction and maybe social rate utility bills (reduced water bill for example). That will help lower outgoings.

And it will top up your household income as it fluctuates.

This. You’re bringing in too little. Even if you both had minimum wage jobs if full time you’d be fine!

It’s not surprising really when you both work part time - it shouldn’t come as a surprise to you really 🤔

Work more hours.

How many DC do you have? What age are they? Why are you only working part time or do you need to work around them?

No it won't, why does everyone assume this?!

Your issue is low income, not high bills

I agree with the Dave Ramsey suggestion. We’ve found it really helpful. We both work full time on low income and it’s tough but doable.

It's not a surprise you're struggling. You're on minimum wage and you both work part time. New jobs should be your focus.

What do you both do that only part time hours are available? You both need to work full time. With your decent budgeting mindset you would feel the difference I imagine.

I’m not surprised you are struggling OP as income is low due to hours worked - can one of you get a full time job with more hours? Up the cleaning?

I agree that I don’t know why you’re confused - it’s obvious that your DH’s drop in income is causing the problem. At least one of you needs to be in full-time work.

If that's correct (I haven't added up the figures and it's possible some costs are missing) then it's partly a budgeting and spending issue, which can be eased if you keep a closer eye on things.

You need to anticipate things like birthday parties, include them in the budget and put money aside.

Review every cost. You can shave a few pounds off your mobile costs and streaming service and a few savings like this start to add up to a noticeable amount.

Look at your spending and cut out as many non essentials as possible, eg everyone should be on packed lunches and bought coffees should be a rare treat not regular and they should be from mcdonald's or Greggs not other places at twice the price.

At least if you're working PT you can prioritise minimising grocery costs, shopping around, looking for yellow stickers, batch cooking mostly vegetarian or low meat food etc.

If you don't have a car, a shopping trolley can be a worthwhile investment to expand the range of supermarkets you can walk to, to save having to pay for the bus or delivery from a more expensive supermarket.

You both work too few hours. Proper FT work even at min wage would be more.

Do you qualify for UC?

It sucks and I feel your pain. I’m on a zero hours contract, work dwindling and variable and it’s so stressful, been applying for other jobs but no luck. It’s not as easy as ‘just get another job’, is it? I can’t believe how expensive things have got - bills have gone up so much, food is expensive, forget days out and holidays. And the government wonders why there’s a mental (and physical) health crisis. Things are definitely much harder if you’re on low income these days.

So your DH's income has halved?

That's the issue. Increasing your income should be the priority.

Where do you live in the country?
Which sectors do you work in?

he's not really part time though for the
is short period he is I suppose. 5 years ago he was on 60hrs and it's a good job with good wage progression. However he's regressed due to his role simply not existing anymore. he's gone from £18ph to £16 which is a jump down but add on no fucking hours it's a massive jump.

I just posted for a moan. I woke up to get ready for work with that sinking feeling.
we are on universal credit but we just miss the entitlement so get a nice letter with a big £0 on it every month. Which is fine I suppose we have enough but we don't really and thats the problem. we've dipped and dipped into our savings for shopping and the odd bill and now the mortgage payment for the first time in the last... let's say 4 months.

We have a grand total of 400 pounds in the savings. which is fucking scary because it won't cover our mortgage. I had 1600 at the start of November. we aren't earning enough it's true.

I agree with the Dave Ramsey suggestion too. He is indeed very American, but his principles work no matter where you live in the world.

As he would say, the hole is too big and the shovel is too small. You need a bigger shovel.

Your DH needs to increase his hours, and you need to work on your earning capacity. It won't happen overnight, but make it a high priority, or else you'll keep feeling like you're drowning.

Also, your said you have teenagers. Could they work? I come from a wealthy family, but was always expected to work to pay for my own expenses. I started working age 14 at a cafe to pay for extra expensive food that I liked, CDs (showing my age haha!), and saving for a car.

You mention one teen

how many other children and how old?

Sorry to be blunt but you don’t work enough hours and you are both in low paid jobs. That’s the crux of it. You need to up to full time. Appreciate you are looking so can you not advertise more hours as a cleaner for now? Your outgoings seem fine!

Is DHs job situation temporary, will there be more hours or is he better off applying elsewhere?

Can he get a side job if the nature of his normal work is unpredictable?

I do get it.
And it has nothing to do with bad money management, but inflation.
Yes, somecmanybpeople need to manage finances better. But there are plenty of people who have simple lives and are feeling the price of inflation.
We do, yet again, have high inflation creeping up on us.