I just don't have enough money

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Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

School uniform etc are one off costs each year that can be bought second hand. On the face of it, £1,000+ as a surplus seems like a large amount of money. So unless OP hasn’t been truthful about what she’s spending, there should be room to save for things such as uniform.

Could you work in the evenings? You should also be getting child benefit.

DH needs to redouble his efforts to get more work or move jobs.

it's not all bad, we got out of renting which is a massive win. we have a lovely 3bed terraced in a shit area but it's still nice and it's ours.
our mortgage is 710 a month but we could be renting this for 12-1400pcm easily. Probably more. Our neighbours and a family member were both given notice on their houses this year and last and I'm so grateful I don't have to fucking mess around with all that.

I'm just worried for my children anyway off to work. thanks for being the sounding board for me. You spared my colleagues their ears all day!

Well income, obviously, but OP has already said that herself.

It just sounded to me like that post was saying there was something she hadn’t told us. Apologies if that is not the case.

I think only better paid - or more fixed hours - jobs are going to help here. But that is easier said than done.

You say your husband's type of work no longer exists or is declining. Can you hint at what it is please and tell us what skills he has. I am assuming you must love somewhere remote without much work about.

For both of you, there must be care work available and with teens you could work nights or at least one of you can.

Gardening
Car detailing
Hospitality
Cleaning
Ironing
Babysitting
Security
Labouring

OP, double check the benefits you are entitled to, there’s a few calculators online, make sure there isn’t any money you are missing that you are entitled to.

Can you and DH make and appointment at the job centre? Go through current roles, what you need and see if there is any help they can provide.

Mortgage wise, if you ring the bank see how they can help you. Can you extend the term from 25 years to 30 years (yes this sounds crazy but it will lowers the payments for now, you can always reduce years later on when things are finically better). Or they could allow you to skip one payment if you have been great at paying in the past. A freeze to give you breathing space which you could put back into your saving pot.

Vinted etc, I know it’s not much but do you have old clothes the kids have grown out of or toys etc. items you aren’t using that you could sell for a bit of extra money?

Do your council offer a travel card for children?

@WombForTwo your kids never grow during the school year?? I’ve known some go through a pair of shoes a term if they hit a growth spurt!

You’ve asked a few times where the money is but this is obviously your answer. It’s not really about the cost of things going up (though that doesn’t help) it’s about the absolutely massive cut in his earnings. Very few people, on whatever salary, would be able to cope with that size of cut. His job doesn’t seem sustainable so he needs to change it and at least supplement it meantime.

Someone else may have mentioned it but if you’re married make sure you apply for marriage tax allowance which will allow you to transfer some of your tax allowance to your DH, if your income is below you PA. It’s not a massive amount but every bit helps.
Home owners can claim benefits so make sure you are claiming everything you’re entitled to.

We feel very much the same at the minute but it costs my husband £300 to get to work each month so thats our downfall!

As for kids parties, Card Factory usually do kids cards 10 for £1. Maybe worth stocking up? As for getting there, could you ask around for a lift from another parent?

Things will get better ❤️

OP

You actually need to list your ACTUAL outgoings and ACTUAL income. Surely you're getting Child Benefit as well for income

Food shopping? Internet? House insurance etc not included in outgoings for some reason?

Is DH buying lunch instead of taking a packed lunch?

Are you having take aways/meals/drinks out?
Do you buy alcohol each week?

Have you looked at things like if you're entitled to free bus passes for the kids school?

It sounds like you really love each other despite your money worries and that’s really heartening. You will figure it out together.

Keep looking for new jobs and you will get there x

It still doesn’t cost £1,200 a month! OP is losing money somewhere and is not being open about her finances.

Yup

This doesn’t make sense. Your income is more than your outgoings, even with the fact you’re both working part time hours. So you should be able to manage; though I agree that any big unexpected bills could be a problem.

One of the issues is that you don’t seem to be in a skilled job. You say you had ten years at home - what did you do for work before kids? Have you thought about training to increase your earning? Can your dh also look to change his type of employment? If his job doesn’t exist any more or work is dwindling so much then it’s no good hanging onto a particular job, he needs to be prepared to do something different.

I think you said you have 3 kids which is obviously expensive, but the eldest is 15 so will soon be able to get a weekend job so can pay for their own travel/entertainment then.

ultimately you both need to work more. If you secured a mortgage then you must have had evidence of a decent regular income so you need to be prepared to move out of your current roles

Lastly, something like either of you doing bar work or waiting in a restaurant a couple of evenings a week would be far better as a side job than taking in ironing, especially with tips.

Are you just posting to put the boot into someone who's struggling on limited hours with the rising cost of living?

Base income of £2,400 a month, fixed outings of £1,230 a month yet no savings? OP needs to be honest about what she’s spending and why she’s spending it.

Is your husband only looking at the type of jobs he’s used to, or is he happy to look at a wider range of roles?

Also, without wishing to pry or be rude, is there anything that limits what he can apply for? Just thinking in a city (I think you said you lived in a city?) train drivers earn well (I know someone will come along and say why that is a silly suggestion, so sorry in advance).

Or could you do a night course to get qualification to get you a better job?

Just seen the figures. You earn £2400 between you (you're doing fewer hours than you thought, so is your DH), and spend £1230 on bills. Even with the lower income, extra travel and bills you've got £1170. Food will be £600-750 to eat well but sensibly. What are you spending the rest on?

She hasn't actually listed all her outgoings. She's missed things like house and buildings insurance, supermarket shop, daily spends (eg. Always buys a Costa in the way to work, DS gets £20 pcm pocket money, one if the kids is in Scouts, school dinners, school trips etc etc )

And don’t forget no debt at all aside from mortgage
and zero childcare costs

No, but the "we are in the richest country and people shouldn't have to live like this" hyperbole is ridiculous.

Exactly. OP is in a very fortunate position. If she’s really struggling, she needs to either get her eldest child to walk the youngest to school so she can work for longer in the mornings, or get another job after school.

Exactly