AIBU - my husband is constantly messaging my friend

[burns4273]

So my husband and I have a mutual friend through our gym. However, they also work together in the same building and have been working out together in their lunch break. They then also spend time in the gym in evenings and weekends. At first this didn’t bother me - I felt a bit left out but that’s my issue not his.

however, they are constantly messaging. He sent me a “spicy picture” but when I checked his phone I know i shouldn’t have he sent it to her first. By 10 minutes.

this is wearing me down and I have tried to bring it up sensibly in the past but he just kicks off saying it’s my fault for not trusting him or believing him when he says he loves me. I told him that I do trust him but this is hurting me and playing on my insecurities - but yet it continues

any tips on how I can bring this up without the whole “why were you looking at my phone”. I do want to save the relationship - we have been together for 15 years. And this has been the biggest argument.

thanks

@burns4273, what are you thinking about it all today?

Im sorry. He sent the pic to her, didnt get the response he wanted so sent it to you.

Have the fight. She stopped being his friend when he started undressing and sending pics.

I have male friends, I have lunch with them, go to the pub, the pictures, dinner, days out, a night away (separate rooms) never did i send them a knicker picture, never did they send me one. Because we are actually friends. Your DH is on the sniff. He needs to stop it.

You aren't insecure, hes untrustworthy.

If he doesnt distance himself this will get worse