Brother has found parents’ wills

[ChorltonCreamery]

My mother tripped over a few days ago. Initially all seemed fine. Friend brought her home but the next day she went to a walk in. It was felt that she might need a procedure on her wrist.

What I only found out yesterday was that Dad rang one of my brothers to go through his desk to find this policy they have, a medical insurance that kicks in if NHS waiting list is too long. In the process of doing this he found their wills and read them.

Yesterday Brother asked if I could go round to his but I couldn’t as we are away. This afternoon sister texts me to call her back, it turns our parents have divided their estate into four. Three quarters between brother, sister and me with a quarter going to other brother’s child(ren) with us three acting as trustees.

Brother 2 is not included, we think because sister in law has two children from previous marriage and there has been drama from them.

Brother wants me and sister to meet for a chat about everything.

He says that the wills were not in a marked file and he had to go through lots of stuff in order to find the insurance.

I don’t know what to think, or what I am meant to think. Sisters annoyed with brother for even telling us.

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They can't forget it, because they face the possibility of the brother's kids, for some years after the parents die, having to come to them to ask for the release of money from the inheritance if they need it. Which quite clearly could be a cause of friction.

I wouldn’t be pleased about being dragged in to be a trustee in that situation. Am I correct in thinking that three siblings are going to be trustees for the portion of inheritance going directly fly to the children of the fourth? So their dad won’t be a trustee?

That’s a very messy drama to unleash and honestly I’d be glad of the heads up.

Ok I thought if they all agreed together they could but thanks for the correction

@Woodywoodpecker321 They can split their own shares, but to split all of it all beneficiaries would have to agree and children cannot legally agree to give up their share

What is there to discuss? It's your parent's Will and it's up to them what they put into it.
I don't understand why your brother wants to discuss it or what outcome he wants
I would just remind him that your parents are still alive and it's none of anyone's business who your parents decide to name in their Will

Thank you 😊

I don’t see what there is to chat about. It’s their money to do with as they please. You guys might not agree with it but it’s still not up to you

Indeed it could, but the family are not supposed to know. It's wrong to go through someone else's private documents and then have a go at them about the contents. If OP's parents die with that will still in place (if!) then those who are left will have to deal with the consequences.

Brother 2 is not included, we think because sister in law has two children from previous marriage and there has been drama from them.
Brother wants me and sister to meet for a chat about everything.

So DB2 hasn’t been told?
yeah DB shouldn’t have told you or your sister. He should have closed the will and pretend he never saw a thing. He really should have realised blabbing to you and your sister now has caused a problem. If you decide not to tell DB2 and he finds out the 3 of you knew,all hell may break out.

unless he and his wife are clearly going to split when the will is read and then he will be very grateful

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They could not. They could vary their own allocations but not the funds left to DS2’s children so in this situation DS2 would inherit some of the other DC’s money and his DC’s would still get their share.

Or they can find a way to let their parents know they don't want to be trustees and would far prefer they appoint someone else, and then not have to deal with the consequences.

I think this is wise of the OP's parents. Let's say OP's parents die first, all 4 kids inherit a quarter, then DB2 dies afterward but doesn't get around to creating a will. His wife now has his inheritance to do as she desires. What if her desire is to give it only to her bio children, and DB2's bio children get nothing? This option ensures OP's family money goes directly to grandchildren.

Why would the kids have to go to them? Once the grandparents die they will get their share. Unless it’s been placed in a trust. Has it been?

this is happening with a friend I know. There are three sisters but one will not get anything in the will but her three children are allocated her share. The Mum who devised the will doesn’t trust daughter’s husband but all this has been transparent so no shock when she’s dies. Do I think it’s fair? Yes and no, but my friend isn’t bothered and is glad the money will go to her children.

They have 4 children the money is divided between 3 if the children and the 4th child's children..
What grounds would anyone have to challenge the Will? If they are in England you can leave your Estate to whoever you want . Besides it's very easy to write the Will to take into account any future grand children .

Yes, that's the whole point. The 3 siblings who do inherit are being made trustees for the children of the one who doesn't.

I assume this is the brother's main concern.

If he finds out that you were all aware of what the will contained before your parents died, he will feel let down and ostracised by you all.
How bloody awful of your parents to do this and put the inevitable fallout on you three!
Is their estate actually large enough for a massive squabble to ensue?

Oh yes indeed.

And now what? Tell your parents that you know? Admit it was read while far more important things were going on? If I was the parents I’d change it and leave the lot to the cats home to piss you all off equally.

That's not how wills work. The person making the will says what they want to happen to their estate after they die, they don't negotiate with the heirs while still alive. The heirs have some rights when the time comes. They can refuse to be a trustee of money held in trust (I believe; OP could check this) in which case another person would be appointed, possibly paid out of the estate. Also they can refuse part of their inheritance and ask for it to go to someone else.

I think the brother who found the will should tell your parents he found it. It’s up to them who they leave things to but I think they need to tell the other brother what they decided and why so it doesn’t come as a shock.

I assume the will was drawn up by a solicitor? Was there a letter or document with it explaining why it was done that way?

This. If you gang up on your parents to change their wills, when the time comes you'll find they have, and gave the whole lot to the local cats home instead, and it will serve you all right.

This is fine.
Your parents are adults

The will is actually split "equally" between hey their 4 children, but they are bypassing him due to his wife amd to keep the ££ in the family which in many circs IS sensible/the right thing to do.

Id consider doing this to my own children in certain circumstances.

You see posts on here from the "other side" all the time.
"My father died and left every to his wife my step mother inc sizeable inheritance from my GPs. She is leaving everything to her 2 sons. This isnt what my GP wanted... what can I do?"
Answer: nothing

It sound like your brother will need to raise this with your parents.

I'd be inclined to tell Snoopy McSnoopface brother that my proposal for dealing with the issue he created is one of the following:

• Nosy Parker brother can divide his portion of the estate between himself and brother if he's so affronted by the injustice of the situation.

• Disinherited brother can wait until his kids turn 18 and then tell them he wants THEM to sign their inheritance over to him wholesale or, failing that, divide it equally between the three of them.

• Forget he ever saw the will or told anyone else about it. What happens in grandpappy's study, STAYS in grandpappy's study.

• He can take it up with your parents but prepare to be likewise disinherited.

"The person making the will says what they want to happen to their estate after they die, they don't negotiate with the heirs while still alive. "

Quite obviously, people very often ask people if they are prepared to act as trustees while they are still alive, because it's far better to know in advance and appoint someone else who is willing to do it then have them refuse after the fact.

Trustees need not be heirs and the will is often essentially asking them to do you and the beneficiaries a big favour for no reward. It's only polite to ask beforehand.