Brother has found parents’ wills

[ChorltonCreamery]

My mother tripped over a few days ago. Initially all seemed fine. Friend brought her home but the next day she went to a walk in. It was felt that she might need a procedure on her wrist.

What I only found out yesterday was that Dad rang one of my brothers to go through his desk to find this policy they have, a medical insurance that kicks in if NHS waiting list is too long. In the process of doing this he found their wills and read them.

Yesterday Brother asked if I could go round to his but I couldn’t as we are away. This afternoon sister texts me to call her back, it turns our parents have divided their estate into four. Three quarters between brother, sister and me with a quarter going to other brother’s child(ren) with us three acting as trustees.

Brother 2 is not included, we think because sister in law has two children from previous marriage and there has been drama from them.

Brother wants me and sister to meet for a chat about everything.

He says that the wills were not in a marked file and he had to go through lots of stuff in order to find the insurance.

I don’t know what to think, or what I am meant to think. Sisters annoyed with brother for even telling us.

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It's their money and I understand what they're trying to achieve. What I don't understand is why Brother 1 is making a drama of this. He should leave it alone and look surprised when it all finally comes out in the wash.

The trustee thing isn’t a big deal, it’s just to ensure the parents don’t blow it on the horses and fancy holidays. It can be released as and when you see fit or at the age specified- so handed over early for driving lessons, or uni fees/house deposit, or at the age the will specifies.

We’re the same for a relative under age.

Ahhh, I read it as it was going to the children of the brother who was already inheriting.

But ultimately, I don't see the issue. The parents have made their wishes clear, and if they think their grandchildren will benefit more from the money than their son, then that's life.

It was wrong of your brother to share it without running it past his dad first.

Though we did similar as we’d been asked to look at the will and realised the siblings were unaware of things that impacted them.

Everything should be divided equally end off.

I would. I’d let the parents deal with the fall out, rather than me and my siblings being left with it in the future.

same

He says that the wills were not in a marked file and he had to go through lots of stuff in order to find the insurance.

That may well be, but he would have known they were wills instantly and should not have read them.

It’s their money to do as they wish. You never know, it could all be eaten up in care fees and none of you get anything.

You can all decide to make a deed of variation & leave it equally to all 4 of you if you all agree.

I doubt it. If the 4th portion wasn’t left to the kids then you could. But as soon as the kids are mentioned then as trustees you need to do best by them- you couldn’t give the money back to the parent as that wouldn’t be in their best interest

Don't think I'd be up for equal shares given that his kids are already set to benefit by receiving his portion. Presumably none of the other siblings offspring are bequeathed in the will.

He’s been disinherited- it’s going to his kids!

When you say there has been "drama" is that underplaying what has happened or is it seeming unfair?

My grandparents did something similar and some folks judged (my father griped a lot to a lot of people), but the drama in our family was long term drug addiction, violence, a lot of abuse and many years of serious heartache. It was, in that case, very justified.

He shouldn't have read it. He has no business reading there will. He would have know after a few seconds what it was.

Not really if that’s not the parents wishes!

Bloody cheek of your brother. None of his business. If he meddles around he may find his share being redirected to his kids and rightly so.

It’s not that hard to comprehend. 4 children, 3 get a 1/4 share and one is bypassed in favour of his biological children. Sounds like the grandparents have been very sensible to me.

None of his business. If he meddles around he may find his share being redirected to his kids and rightly so.

it's awful to use inheritance like that..:

Of course they can’t! They can’t take the money away from the children it’s been left to.

They could choose to split some of their own quarter in order to give some to the brother, but I probably wouldn’t, because I’d want it for my own children (who obviously are not inheriting directly).

Everything should be divided as the parents wish. End of.

Using wills to punish. Classy.

Urgh.

Yet again, this is MN so as onlookers we don't know what went on with 'the wife' (is she an Addict? Massive bankruptcy history?) or what the fourth sibling has told the parents that the other don't know (did he confide about an affair? Gambling addiction?) , and we don't know if the sibling already knows it's going to his kids & has made his peace with it.

I mean what can you realistically do?
'dad we read your will and we collectively disagree'? The kids will be getting the lot! That's actually fair!

I don't think the purpose of a will should be to sow division in your surviving family, but if that's your parents legacy, it's their choice unfortunately. Maybe the best you can do is consider what you're going to do if he is devastated.

You woulnt have known about this - be worrying for the next god knows how many years if DB hadn't read things that were none of his business.

Wow. So he absolutely had to read the whole of the will, in order to be sure that it wasn't a health care document? Liar, liar. pants on fire! Even worse that he now wants to discuss it. To what end? To gang up on your parents to change their will to whatever you kids decide?

Stay out of this. It isn't up to you or him to tell them what to do, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that if my kids decided to tell me where I was to leave my money when I die, the dogs home would be getting the lot.

Why was he reading it?
Oh come on, who wouldn't in these circumstances!

What is there to talk about?

Coercing someone into changing a will is illegal and invalidates the new will.

He didn’t read the wills by accident. That was quite an invasion of privacy.

It’s their business how they leave their estate. I’m surprised that you and your siblings were made trustees without discussion though. What if you don’t want the job?