Brother has found parents’ wills

[ChorltonCreamery]

My mother tripped over a few days ago. Initially all seemed fine. Friend brought her home but the next day she went to a walk in. It was felt that she might need a procedure on her wrist.

What I only found out yesterday was that Dad rang one of my brothers to go through his desk to find this policy they have, a medical insurance that kicks in if NHS waiting list is too long. In the process of doing this he found their wills and read them.

Yesterday Brother asked if I could go round to his but I couldn’t as we are away. This afternoon sister texts me to call her back, it turns our parents have divided their estate into four. Three quarters between brother, sister and me with a quarter going to other brother’s child(ren) with us three acting as trustees.

Brother 2 is not included, we think because sister in law has two children from previous marriage and there has been drama from them.

Brother wants me and sister to meet for a chat about everything.

He says that the wills were not in a marked file and he had to go through lots of stuff in order to find the insurance.

I don’t know what to think, or what I am meant to think. Sisters annoyed with brother for even telling us.

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lt's no one's business but your parents , they can leave their money to whoever they like. Your brother can't discuss it with them, because he shouldn't have read it. Don't get involved, decline the request to discuss it.

But you can see that your proposed solution isn’t fair?

But unlike the DIL you don’t create ‘drama’ .

Why isn’t it? Disinheriting your child because you’re afraid they’ll pass some of your money onto their stepchildren certainly isn’t fair.

It sounds like the wills were drawn up by a solicitor since there is a Trust involved. That means the Wills will have been in an envelope clearly marked. And even if it wasn't, a quick glance should have told your brother it wasn't a Medical Insurance policy. Therefore, your brother chose to deliberately snoop. That is despicable. And to then compound his behaviour by telling you about it. Put bluntly, it's actually no one's business but your parents. I suggest you all accept that you have no right to interfere in your parentps will. It's hard, but you should not discuss this with anyone, not even your parents. You would be opening a huge box of worms and cause a lot of distress to them.

I don’t understand the upset from some posters. The money is going to the disinherited brothers kids it’s not like that branch is cut off entirely. Aren’t most people desperate to leave their children an inheritance? Brother won’t need to worry about that and can merrily spend his own money as he sees fit as his offspring will have already inherited and likely at a time of life they really appreciate it.

I'm genuinely interested in your perspective. Do you believe there are no bad intentions in the decision to exclude one of the four children—who usually have a positive relationship with their parents—from the will merely to prevent the stepchildren or spouse from benefiting from the inheritance?
Doesn't this decision seem more like seeking revenge than genuinely considering the best interests of the son? It’s troubling to prioritise retaliation over family bonds, which is particularly distasteful, especially since the stepchildren would only receive anything if the son wanted to give it to them. Wouldn't it be more important to focus on their own son's well-being when they are gone instead of making a last spiteful statement through the will?

Yawn.

This doesn’t sound right. Because you aren’t acting in the best interests of the GCs who do inherit. As trustees you have to act in their best interest

But why to mention DIL? Should they find ways to prevent her from getting any benefits through their son, even if it affects him negatively? Crazy

I've stated my perspective many times: it's the sole decision of the person making a Will as to who their beneficiaries will be. End of.
I have no idea if there are any bad intentions in OP's parents' decision - nor do you - and I don't understand how you can attribute to them a motive of "seeking revenge"? Revenge on who? You don't know them any more than any of the rest of us. From what OP has posted, their motivation might be that they want to ensure their second son's children benefit from an inheritance from them without it either being diluted (by being shared with step-siblings) or lost altogether if their son and DIL divorce. Whatever their motivation, it's their right to bequeath their estate as they see fit.

As a PP has pointed out, the three adult children could sign a Deed of Variation to share their inheritance with the other brother (so their 3/4s gets split between all four of them instead of just three), but they can't touch the 1/4 placed in trust for the disinherited brother's children.

Yeah but I’m not reading 24 pages of comments to find that.

Just re-pool the inheritance and share it out equally....

I'm not reading every comment, so I don't know how often you have stated your opinion. There is no need to be rude.
I didn't say there are, in fact, bad intentions; I said it seems like it, and yes, I can form an opinion about the intentions based on what seems like it. If you go and read the other posts of the OP about their relationship, you will have a picture of who they have issues with.
You just evaded all my questions, as it is not a pretty answer. Who cares about what a son in that position might feel? As long as THEIR money is in safe hands, it's ridiculous!
What would be wrong if their son used the will money for all his family, as the three other adults may do for their own families? I don't know.
There is no need to answer; your perspective and type are pretty clear now.

I wasn't being rude - I was making a statement of fact. And I did answer your questions. I told you I don't know if there are any bad intentions on their part and I don't agree with your characterisation of them "seeking revenge" (you didn't answer my question on this point - revenge on who?). Nor do I believe they're making a "last spiteful statement through their Will" to their son - why would they? OP's post doesn't indicate they have any problem with him (although they may have with his wife).

@IcyRedCat "There is no need to answer; your perspective and type are pretty clear now. " And you call me rude?! I'm the "type" who thinks people can do what they like with their own money - yes, how terrible of me. 🙄 I'd love to see how you'd react if someone told you what to do with your money. And I knew you were never "genuinely interested" in my perspective - that would have required an open-minded maturity on your part.

You're entitled to your opinion, of course, but again, every family is different.

But do not steal the money from the GC, because that’s theft as they cannot agree to it,

It’s the wishes of the gift giver, it’s totally fair as it carry’s out their wishes.

Great you do that, you don’t even need to vary the will TBH. You can just gift your DB or DS, and hope you live seven years if you really want.

After all it’s your money then, to do with want you want.

So gift away with your own money.

Just don’t touch those GC money.

Wills are sometimes very awkward; whatever we may think of the intended direction they are the will of the people, it is their money and really no one should influence / discuss finer details them (unless they are mentally incapacitated or you believe they are under undue influence).
if a brother has been cut out, does his share go to his children? In effect his family have been included and maybe if his wife is difficult this was their difficult decision.

difficult he “read it all by accident” if they haven’t shown anyone else or discussed it with you.

This is a really difficult situation as it's a private document so nobody should know what's in it. We are a 4 - and Mum died 2nd after changing will to even 4 way split. One sibling argued it and cost them 150k and us 80k in solicitors. My MIL left everything to BIL even though theres only him and my husband - some people use their wills as their final insult !! It may be your brother is happy to have the children inherit rather than him - it might be the money isn't life changing - essentially though if the will is a properly produced one it is what they've decided and only winner is solicitor if anyone argues.

Is this a d.i.y will? A family member has recently set up a trust to go with her will. All the trustees had to agree to do it & had documents to sign. I don’t think you can just add people without their consent. I also think (but don’t know) that if you cut a child out, it’s usual to explain why to avoid challenge later.

That will be a lifetime trust. I wouldn’t touch those with a barge pole. Why on earth has the relative done that?

A will is only signed by the testator and the trust is created on death the will then becomes the trust deed.