Brother has found parents’ wills

[ChorltonCreamery]

My mother tripped over a few days ago. Initially all seemed fine. Friend brought her home but the next day she went to a walk in. It was felt that she might need a procedure on her wrist.

What I only found out yesterday was that Dad rang one of my brothers to go through his desk to find this policy they have, a medical insurance that kicks in if NHS waiting list is too long. In the process of doing this he found their wills and read them.

Yesterday Brother asked if I could go round to his but I couldn’t as we are away. This afternoon sister texts me to call her back, it turns our parents have divided their estate into four. Three quarters between brother, sister and me with a quarter going to other brother’s child(ren) with us three acting as trustees.

Brother 2 is not included, we think because sister in law has two children from previous marriage and there has been drama from them.

Brother wants me and sister to meet for a chat about everything.

He says that the wills were not in a marked file and he had to go through lots of stuff in order to find the insurance.

I don’t know what to think, or what I am meant to think. Sisters annoyed with brother for even telling us.

.

Indeed. And none of these differences in treatment indicate a lack of love for one child compared to the other, despite what some PPs post (in fact, I find their money-based, transactional definition of "love" rather distasteful).

It’s poor. Leaving one child out and also gifting what I assume is some of the grandchildren.
Great way to go about tearing the family apart!
I guess ultimately it’s their choice tho.

They’ve used that one child’s “part” to benefit his children. Not unheard of by any means,

If you and siblings are in agreement then you can vary the will when it kicks in and leave money to the brother who has been disinherited.

Correct me if I'm wrong.. so one share goes to the brother who was left out Biological children because the wife of said brother has two other children from a previous relationship and there have been problems in the family with her? if thats the case I don't see a problem, its there money. perhaps they didn't like the thought of the SIL and her other two children getting there hands on the money should it go pair shape within that brothers marriage. i assume they have a good reason for feeling that way. at least they thought of that brothers biological children.

No they can’t, that’s rubbish!!

A deed of variation can be done, but not to do that.

you can vary a Will if all beneficiaries agree, the grandchildren, I’m assuming are minors are not legally able to do so and their parents have a conflict of interest.

Just leave it.
I’m estranged from my Dad and he told my sister that he’d cut me out of his will. She then relayed that to me.
I wasn’t bothered about the money, but the statement and the meaning behind it was incredibly hurtful. I wish my sister hadn’t told me.
Save your brother the anguish, don’t tarnish the last months/years etc that he has with your parents.

They cannot vary the money left to the children

People are fickle and often use inheritance as a stick to beat their family with.
i had one client who changed his Will seven times in five years depending on what his son and grandson had or hadn’t done. I understood when I eventually met his son tbh.
Clients regularly fight with their kids and change their Wills and change them back a few months or years later.
Whether the changes are justified I can comment on, there are two sides to every story.
There is often an element of vindictiveness and/or control involved.

No, they can vary the money left to them though.

It’s complicated.
You can’t just vary a Will without all beneficiaries being in agreement and a sound reason.

"So because I don't agree with you I'm aggressive and argumentative? By that logic, you are too" - No.... its perfectly ok to have different opinions. What comes across as aggressive and argumentative is how rude and personal your attacks are and the names you use - eg 'that child is a pitiful waste of space' as just one example..... you just go around name calling and do not write with any respect for others.

re 'he told us of the change before he died' - ok so that was exactly what I was saying in my original post - eg that it is discussed before the person dies so that everyone understands to avoid all the misunderstanding and bad feeling afterwards.

I am shocked that someone who is so hostile to others / name calling about others and general lack of respect to others is a CAB advisor.

Why? There's no law that says all children should inherit, They seem to have done it fairly to me.

the sound reason can be because all the beneficiaries want to do it. In this case though there is the complication of children who at this time are too young to agree to a variation.

Not necessarily. The other three beneficiaries could agree to share with the one who’s been excluded so 75% of the estate was split four ways instead of three. I’d absolutely want to do this if one of my siblings was disinherited and I’d refuse to act as trustee for the children too.

Sounds fair to me.

yes but if they do that, one part of the family benefits twice. Their children get a share and the parents do too.

So then Brother 2’s kids get 25% of the estate and Brother 2 also gets 18.75% . The OP, her sister snd DB1 get their shares reduced from 25% to 18.75% and their bio children get nothing… in comparison with their cousins in Brother 2’s family!

I’d rather one part of the family benefited twice than condone this kind of behaviour on the part of the parents. I have three stepchildren and no way would my parents have left all their money to my son just to make sure the other kids didn’t get any.

Are you the dodgy DIL, who may well end up with that brother’s share if the parents leave it to him? 😂

My husband has two children from a previous relationship. I have asked my parents to leave everything direct to our daughter to prevent their hard work leaving the family. I don’t know if they have or not.
It’s no one’s business how anyone wishes to leave their estate.

No I’m a person who likes justice and fairness. Is that all right with you?

I don't see the problem. Parents sorted their will equally to all four children, or their children. Whatever the reason for them deciding to give one sons money to his children instead of him, is between your parents and him. You've been treated equally otherwise.
Nothing do do with you, nothing for you to all chat about. What would you all chatting about it achieve anyway?
Just leave things be.

Whats your question?