Woman yelled at me in public toilets

[empee47]

Went to Tesco yesterday and visited the loo. Washed my hands and turned on the hand dryer and another lady started yelling at me that I was upsetting her daughter because of the noise. Daughter looked to be about 3 and was visibly distressed. Had they asked me not to use the dryer until they’d left the sink area and explained why, I wouldn’t have done. Apparently I can’t possibly be a mum myself as everyone knows kids are scared of the noise. Happens that I have 2 kids myself and the noise has never bothered them. It was the aggressive way she was bellowing at me in public that annoyed me and the sense of entitlement that everything had to run her way.

And? That doesn’t make it acceptable to shout at a stranger who is perfectly reasonably drying her hands in a public lavatory.

My kids are terrified of the hand dryer. I always say I won't use it myself but I won't stop anyone else using it. If they don't like it they need to put their hands over their ears!

This woman sounds terrible.

Sure, but most people don't have this. For most people, anxiety does reduce through exposure.

You'd be surprised how many people do have it. Some don't even realise it's got a name.

So she is teaching her child that the best way to ask people to be kind and considerate to others is to scream abuse at them? Ridiculous woman and if her child hates noise then I feel for them as it must be horrible living with a screechy yelling parent

You get a lot of riff raff in Tesco and this is an example of that. I swear people go there to smack their kids.

So you’re happy to breathe in this air and also expose your whole body to it but not put your hands underneath it?

She should have asked you if it was such an issue!! My child has ASD and is terrified of the hand dryer but I would have asked or used the disabled toilet if the noise was that much of an issue! Not your fault by any means.

Well keep your child out of public toilets then! The entitlement of some people.

5 next month

Difficult to say, depending on where the child was in relation to the dryer. If she was standing right next to it than I would think its not a good idea to start the dryer.
The mother was likely at the end of the tether and just couldnt hold her marbles anymore. Obviously she wasnt right yelling at you and assuming you know her child is scared of the noice if the child was far away from it. Some people dont realise that not all the children are the same as their child.
I would be a bit shaken if that happen to me but would try to sympathise with a tired mother and the distressed child and let it go as soon as I possibly could.

Obviously she was rude, I’ve been asked not to use dryer as child doesn’t like it. I’m happy to wait a minute or use a paper towel (if available). I don’t want to cause distress to a child unnecessarily but that depends on request being made politely.

I'd have turned on every dryer in there 🤣

Right, that's probably ok for now but realistically you'll have to stop taking him into women's spaces in the next few years. Presumably you're aware of that already though. 👍

Why? To show how petty you are?

You are aware that’s the air you’re breathing all the time you’re in there?

Good job you’re about to tell the PP how to deal with her DS in the next few years.

And it’s not probably ok, it’s absolutely fine.

Whilst I don’t agree with the woman’s reaction at all I think it’s a relatively new etiquette/politeness to be considerate of children when using these driers. Some of them are so obnoxiously loud and they are ear height for a lot of the littlies.
I try to be aware of any children around when using them as my own children used to find them so unpleasant and it’s just considerate to try to do so.

That’s completely optional, and no one has any right to get upset when someone doesn’t conform to this made-up etiquette.

Yeah and what if the person doesn’t have kids and wanted to have kids? Or had a kid and lost them to some illness or accident.

There’s so many reasons why it’s a foolish and insensitive thing to say.

As evidenced on here it’s often said to people who do have kids. So it’s a complete nonsense that these people can tell either way.

Yes it’s quite often optional to be considerate of small children. I don’t see the point you’re trying to make here? I never said the woman was right to shout at op.

Enjoy blasting small children’s eardrums to your hearts content I suppose.

That mother and child better strap in for the next 15 years because if this is how she approaches things she’ll generate a lot of conflict with strangers and not all of them will be as reasonable as you when confronted by her batshittery.

@empee47 how did you react to her?
Horrible, entitled, aggressive woman, her reaction was ridiculous. My 4 yo doesn’t like the noise either but it’s part of being in a public space and he needs to learn that other people aren’t going to stop doing things because of him. I just cover his ears and that usually works fine. I’m sure you coped with the verbal attack better than I would have..I would have lost my shit and probably said something awful 🤣

Dont be imposing your daft views on other people. Dryers serve a purpose in wc
No one needs to be carrying tissue as an alternative to dryer because a minority don’t like dyers.YOU need to anticipate someone will use the dryers that are provided for their intended purpose. If you don’t like it, you leave promptly with your tissues.

@Funkeh

nah, I couldn’t be arsed with taking my own tissues. The hand dryers are installed for the purpose of drying hands so that’s what I’ll use. End of.