Woman yelled at me in public toilets

[empee47]

Went to Tesco yesterday and visited the loo. Washed my hands and turned on the hand dryer and another lady started yelling at me that I was upsetting her daughter because of the noise. Daughter looked to be about 3 and was visibly distressed. Had they asked me not to use the dryer until they’d left the sink area and explained why, I wouldn’t have done. Apparently I can’t possibly be a mum myself as everyone knows kids are scared of the noise. Happens that I have 2 kids myself and the noise has never bothered them. It was the aggressive way she was bellowing at me in public that annoyed me and the sense of entitlement that everything had to run her way.

Some definitely are but they need to learn to accept it as a part of life, not pandered to.

Exactly, it's not surprising that so many children have 'issues' if every time they encounter a small problem it is blown up out of all proportion. Coping is a skill more parents should encourage their children to do.

I’ve never heard of children being scared of the dryers. Mine certainly weren’t and I’ve never seen a child scared in the loos.

id have given her short shift tbh. How dare other people tell someone else what to do? Truly baffling. If her child has a strange phobia then it is up to the parents to remove their child from that situation. I think the world has gone mad

It's an absolutely real and quite notorious fear in young autistic children. My eldest was terrified of them and it made life v difficult while out and at school until he was about nine years old.

Ugh unfortunately there are many thoughtless and rude people like this in the world, people who just wait for an opportunity to be self righteous and when they find one they milk it.

this woman is unhappy. Don’t blame yourself, pity her

My DD hates the sound. She has DS. It's never occurred to me to ask people not to use them. We carry ear defenders. This person could invest in preventative measures instead of expecting people to know about her child's sensitivities.

This is hilarious. I am too - I might by start doing that 🤣🤣

Ok that’s fine, but my point is I don’t know any so it never would even have entered my head to not dry my hands because a child is in the vicinity. I’m not psychic.

Now you do know. 😉

Surely it’s on the mum not to take her child into a public toilet where something as natural as using hand dryers is going to upset them?

Meh. That’s her problem, not OP’s. People should be able to use the hand dryer without her taking her frustrations out on them.
I’m at the end of my tether for lots of reasons.

She’s a twat

My son has ASD and used to find the noise of hand dryers distressing which clearly wasn’t nice for him but it didn’t mean I could do anything to stop other people using them

Ahh ok didn’t know that. Hopefully you just avoided the loos then rather than telling other people what to do!

We used the disabled, young children can't 'avoid' using the toilet.

If anything if she knows the kids doesn’t like them she should expose her to the noise as much as possible to knock this out of her asap. The workd is noisy kiddo. Get over it! The hand dryer won’t kill you and most schools have them so you had better get used to them fast!

What do you mean, it’s probably ok? Of course it is, he’s a small child.

What would you do with a five year old boy if you needed the loo, leave him standing outside? Send him into the men’s alone if he needed to go? Or just never leave the house alone with him incase one of you needed the toilet?

People are ridiculous. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at a woman taking a 9/10 year old boy into the ladies. I certainly did until my son was that age. I wasn’t about to leave him outside a loo in a busy shopping centre or send him into the men’s on his own.

YANBU
this woman was rude and entitled.

She’s a nutter. I wouldn’t have even engaged her, just walk off and laugh.

As I said, it's probably fine now, but it's irrelevant that you wouldn't bat an eyelid at a 9/10 year old boy in a women's space because he shouldn't be in there!

You can't knock misphonia out of people. 🫣

Where should he be then? Seriously. You are at a theme park, or a shopping centre, alone with your 9 year old son. You really need the toilet. You’d be happy to leave him standing outside while you possibly had to queue? You wouldn’t worry?

I am all for women’s spaces, but come on, it’s children we are talking about.

Oh come off it she most likely didn’t have misophonia. While this is debilitating it is quite rare. Had it been a 15 year old I might have agreed with you but given the context it was probably a case of don’t liiiiiiiiiiiikeeeeee ittttttt waaaaaaaaah (Lord give me strength)

My son is 5.5 and used to be absolutely terrified of them, the first time he heard one I was genuinely a bit shaken at his reaction. He still hates them (he's autistic as it turns out!) but now he's older he knows and will wear ear defenders in public toilets. I'd never expect anyone to "just know" or not use the dryer though.

NOTICE ME AND MY AUTISTIC CHILD