Woman yelled at me in public toilets

[empee47]

Went to Tesco yesterday and visited the loo. Washed my hands and turned on the hand dryer and another lady started yelling at me that I was upsetting her daughter because of the noise. Daughter looked to be about 3 and was visibly distressed. Had they asked me not to use the dryer until they’d left the sink area and explained why, I wouldn’t have done. Apparently I can’t possibly be a mum myself as everyone knows kids are scared of the noise. Happens that I have 2 kids myself and the noise has never bothered them. It was the aggressive way she was bellowing at me in public that annoyed me and the sense of entitlement that everything had to run her way.

This is what I was thinking 👀

The 'woeful' germs won't just be coming out of the hand dryer!

Loads of kids are scared of them, however it's about how parents respond.

I wonder if it was the hand dryer making her kid upset. Having one of your parents yell at people is far more upsetting.

Is it maybe to do with the hot air potentially blowing them up towards your hands and face? The perceived thought of that perhaps?

child is probably more upset by raving yelling mother.
Although that could well be her permanent state.

She’s mad. So her kid is afraid of the hand drier? Fair enough. Yet clearly not afraid of Mummy bellowing and shouting? Ironic.

Really?? ‘Take a tissue’???

FFS 🤦‍♀️ Don’t be ridiculous.

I agree. My boys are both autistic and terrified of the hand dryers, but I would never in a million years shout at anyone for using one. How bizarre! I wouldn't even ask anyone not to use one. We'd just be in and out as soon as possible.

No idea. I'm just glad I'm lucky enough to not suffer from that level of anxiety as life would be exhausting.

I'm glad I have empathy towards others, but each to their own.

Yanbu.
for this reason I often take my son to the accessible toilet so he doesn’t have to endure it. He’s five and send for context! However, if we do have to use the ladies, he will tell people that he doesn’t want to use the handryer!

I ALWAYS use paper towels instead of the hand driers. Before I retired I worked at our local hospital, and if paper towels are good enough for the NHS they're good enough for me.

I wonder if she's the same woman who had a go at me for taking DS in to the ladies. My DS is autistic and hates the noise of the hand dryer but I either ask people to wait or just cover his ears. Simple.
I certainly wouldnt have a go at someone for drying their hands!

What age is your DS?

ffs, the day we have to start taking tissues on the extremely unlikely off chance of some batshit woman shrieking at us for using what has been provided to dry our hands in a public toilet is the day we should all just lay down and wait to die.

give your head a wobble, there is no way you actually think this!

Chavs. They get everywhere.

I didn't get where I am today by civetting my ears!

Good enough for the NHS is hardly a measure of efficiency or capability… forgotten the inadequate and unsafe PPE The Tory friends and family contract club tried to force on the doctors and nurses fighting covid already have you?

You are obviously not unreasonable. Children are scared of loud noises. They become less scared through exposure. Unless the child has sensory processing issues due to neurodivergence or etc, it's unreasonable to expect other people not to use the dryer. It won't harm a child to be scared for 30 seconds. It will eventually teach them that is also nothing to be scared of from a dryer.

She's batshit, my three yr old is scared of hand dryers too. It's my (and her) job to comfort the child not yell at randoms. You're in a public toilet, you're allowed to use the hand dryer 😂

It's not necessarily true that people become less scared through exposure though. While it's not necessarily the OPs problem, for those with misphonia this will probably be a lifelong problem.

Likely making her poor daughters issues worse and increasing any existing reactivity. For all we know much of her daughters distress could be due to her mothers aggressive response 😬.

I hate those driers

DS2 (but not DS1) would always burst into tears in public toilets when a hand dryer went off. It never occurred to me to instruct people not to use them, much less yell at them.OP, I suspect she is living a stressful life, maybe even who knows sound phobic/ non neurotypical herself. You did nothing wrong.

Got to love autocorrect. It already corrected dryer to sheet, but I spotted that.

A civet might help block the noise though 😄