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AIBU?

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Original poster

Woman yelled at me in public toilets

315 replies

empee47 · 25/05/2025 07:58

Went to Tesco yesterday and visited the loo. Washed my hands and turned on the hand dryer and another lady started yelling at me that I was upsetting her daughter because of the noise. Daughter looked to be about 3 and was visibly distressed. Had they asked me not to use the dryer until they’d left the sink area and explained why, I wouldn’t have done. Apparently I can’t possibly be a mum myself as everyone knows kids are scared of the noise. Happens that I have 2 kids myself and the noise has never bothered them. It was the aggressive way she was bellowing at me in public that annoyed me and the sense of entitlement that everything had to run her way.

OP posts:
Katkins17 · 25/05/2025 08:12

My son was terrified of the hand driers….but I would never have considered that no one else was to use them to 'save his soul!!'

In fact, I always used it as a ‘look, they’re using it, and they’re absolutely fine!' Sort of thing.

the entitlement of some people is off the scale….i think I would have just told her that shouting at strangers in a public place is probably scaring her daughter far more than a bloody hand drier!!

NestEmptying · 25/05/2025 08:13

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Unhelpful and unnecessary

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 25/05/2025 08:14

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Wtf???

Communitywebbing · 25/05/2025 08:14

Maybe this woman was at the end of her tether for some other reason. Her poor DC must have been scared by her.

Gettingbysomehow · 25/05/2025 08:14

She's clearly completely raving mad.

Longenough98 · 25/05/2025 08:14

But I, like that pp, believe this is likely exaggerated

so that is our response

what “help” is the op looking for anyway?

Callie247 · 25/05/2025 08:15

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We do?

ShillyShallySherbet · 25/05/2025 08:16

Cynicalaboutall · 25/05/2025 08:04

Was she just yelling because you were using the hand drier at the time?
Was she shouting over the noise maybe?

Even so, if your child is upset by a loud noise, how is yelling over that noise at a stranger going to help the matter?

Katkins17 · 25/05/2025 08:17

Funkeh · 25/05/2025 07:59

I mean I wouldn’t use hand dryer because they’re woefully unhygienic but yeah the noise is also horrific
maybe just take your own tissues next time

Why ?????

just in case she comes across another narcissistic entitled parent with her precious child???

Nah…. The sooner the entitled few realise that the world doesn’t revolve around them, the better.

butterdish93 · 25/05/2025 08:17

My kids get distressed by them so it’s in my head to not use them if there are other kids around.
i also have noticed a lot of people say to me that they won’t use them cos the kids are there. It is in a lot of people general awareness but your not BU for not knowing.
she was being awful for shouting at you. Some parents are extremely entitled about their kids but she might have been at the end of her tether.

Crickacrack · 25/05/2025 08:17

Anyway OP, of course YANBU and that’s why currently the vote stands at 99% in agreement with you!

The woman sounds like a bully, and clearly thought she can push you around. I hope you told her not to speak to you like that.

If she wanted to make a request that you don’t use the dryer she could’ve asked very politely with the full understanding that it’s up to you if you oblige or not.

Or better still she could’ve quickly taken her child out the toilet or covered their ears.

Her demanding you stop doing that is entitled and also how daft to assume you do or don’t have kids! It’s her who has shown a lack of understanding around children - not all children are the same. Many three year olds are NOT scared of the hand dryer.

And even if you didn’t have kids, why is she belittling you about it then? Surely in her eyes that’s even more reason for you not to have known it scared her daughter.

Comedycook · 25/05/2025 08:18

Obviously she was being unreasonable.

Don't give it any more thought...maybe she was having a bad day and was stressed to the max and is now thinking what the hell was I doing?!

butterdish93 · 25/05/2025 08:19

I also don’t think the OP is exaggerating. A family member of mine shouts at anyone in public who doesn’t act like their kids are the second coming of Christ.

Helpmeplease2025 · 25/05/2025 08:20

Funkeh · 25/05/2025 07:59

I mean I wouldn’t use hand dryer because they’re woefully unhygienic but yeah the noise is also horrific
maybe just take your own tissues next time

Just because you wouldn’t use it, doesn’t mean anyone else can’t.

ShillyShallySherbet · 25/05/2025 08:21

Longenough98 · 25/05/2025 08:14

But I, like that pp, believe this is likely exaggerated

so that is our response

what “help” is the op looking for anyway?

Edited

I think the OP is just looking for reassurance that they were entitled to use the hand dryer in a public toilet and shouldn’t be expected to know that a child next to them is afraid of hand dryers.

JeremiahBullfrog · 25/05/2025 08:21

No wonder the child is scared of the noise if it causes her mother to start shouting at strangers.

Helpmeplease2025 · 25/05/2025 08:21

Communitywebbing · 25/05/2025 08:14

Maybe this woman was at the end of her tether for some other reason. Her poor DC must have been scared by her.

Still no justification for her behaviour.

Longenough98 · 25/05/2025 08:22

ShillyShallySherbet · 25/05/2025 08:21

I think the OP is just looking for reassurance that they were entitled to use the hand dryer in a public toilet and shouldn’t be expected to know that a child next to them is afraid of hand dryers.

Edited
Show quote history

The Op has bigger issues than this if she’s unsure whether unreasonable to use a hand dryer in a public toilet

rainbowstardrops · 25/05/2025 08:23

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Oh, were you there too?

Longenough98 · 25/05/2025 08:23

Just seen that this lady did more than shout at you Op, she actually bellowed

ok

Timpot · 25/05/2025 08:24

Most toddlers dislike hand dryers. They get used to the noise by exposure, and a bit of validation and reassurance "yes it is very noisy, but it can't hurt you. Do you think it's as loud as a lion? How loud can you roar?" Etc

She possibly has a mindset that children must not be exposed to anything that they find scary or unpleasant however safe that thing might be. Sadly this then leads to kids whose anxiety and distress gets worse.

She was definitely wrong to tell at you.

leli · 25/05/2025 08:24

Funkeh · 25/05/2025 07:59

I mean I wouldn’t use hand dryer because they’re woefully unhygienic but yeah the noise is also horrific
maybe just take your own tissues next time

What an idiotic comment.

ShillyShallySherbet · 25/05/2025 08:24

Longenough98 · 25/05/2025 08:22

The Op has bigger issues than this if she’s unsure whether unreasonable to use a hand dryer in a public toilet

Show quote history

I don’t, I think most decent people would be quite shaken up by unwittingly upsetting a child and then being shouted at by their parent.

Longenough98 · 25/05/2025 08:25

ShillyShallySherbet · 25/05/2025 08:24

I don’t, I think most decent people would be quite shaken up by unwittingly upsetting a child and then being shouted at by their parent.

Show quote history

Read the op
was the aggressive way she was bellowing at me in public that annoyed me and the sense of entitlement that everything had to run her way.

where does that indicate the op is unsure?

AutumnLover1989 · 25/05/2025 08:25

And her yelling at you wouldn't distress her daughter? She's unhinged. Don't give her any more thought 👍