Woman yelled at me in public toilets

[empee47]

Went to Tesco yesterday and visited the loo. Washed my hands and turned on the hand dryer and another lady started yelling at me that I was upsetting her daughter because of the noise. Daughter looked to be about 3 and was visibly distressed. Had they asked me not to use the dryer until they’d left the sink area and explained why, I wouldn’t have done. Apparently I can’t possibly be a mum myself as everyone knows kids are scared of the noise. Happens that I have 2 kids myself and the noise has never bothered them. It was the aggressive way she was bellowing at me in public that annoyed me and the sense of entitlement that everything had to run her way.

I have, in the past, been sensitive to this and checked before using 'extreme' dryers if there's been a small child in the toilets.

YANBU though, as I (imagining myself as the other parent) would consider such an enquiry a bonus, not a right. She should have been proactive if her DD is that bothered, and there was no need to have raised her voice.

As the parent of a 3 year old who screams the place down when she hears a hand dryer, you did nothing wrong and that mum is being absolutely ridiculous!

Ridiculous. My Dd was terrified of hand dryers but that was our issue - didn’t cross my mind that the wider public should notp use a hand dryer in our vicinity!

And shouting at strangers is only going to make her dc more scared and make it an even bigger issue.

Pot, kettle, black.

Oo you’re so edgy and cool. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Also if the mother shouts at people every time a drier goes off that makes it more scary for the kid no?

She shouldn’t shouted at you. That was not warranted.

Interestingly though hand dryers admit a frequency that is painful to young children.

Going to play devil's advocate here and suggest that her child is ND (many have a terror of public toilets because of hand driers) and that this mum was having a really bad day and stressed because of the child's condition generally. The mental health of many parents at this stage isn't good. Doesn't justify her shouting at you which was awful.

She sounds like a weirdo. No wonder the child was distressed with a mother like that. Sorry about your experience, OP.

Have I missed something?

Then move on or report the post.

Constantly accusing someone of lying is tiresome for other posters and this is a site primarily aimed at supporting women.

The kind of hectoring that you have indulged in too often leads to a pile of.

Possible explanation:

Both she and her daughter are neuro diverse, and on top of that, she was having a terrible day.

Who knows?

But I wouldn't give it a second thought.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/01/us/hand-dryers-children.html#:~:text=Do%20hand%20dryers%20pose%20a,or%20an%20approaching%20subway%20train.

My daughter is scared of hand dryers. I would never even dream of asking someone not to use them though!! There have been a few times some kind people have started to use them and then stopped when they’ve seen she’s been scared which I’ve appreciated. This woman was totally out of order in my opinion.

My two were both scared of the hand dryer for a while when toddlers. Wouldn't have dreamed of asking people not to use it though, a little fright won't hurt them and they need to learn that it's fine.

That’s your choice. Other people do not have to avoid using them though, in case one child gets upset. Lots of children don’t care, and even if a child is bothered, it’s never a requirement for someone else to refrain from using it.

Doesn’t matter.

Dgs hated the hand dryer. I used to tell him, hands over your ears and he’d be fine.

She was BU. Both mine were scared when little and the younger one very much so. Bet she never gave using the dryers a second thought before she had kids who had an issue. If a harried mum asked politely if I could hold off for a second whilst she got her fearful child out that would be fine. I’m not sure how I would handle someone yelling at me for using them. Ignore the ignorant posters who come on to threads to say you are making it up. They would say the same to me about some of the things I’ve experienced whilst out but haven’t posted about.

Yeah it's another aren't parents unreasonable post, loads of them about recently

I’d have stared at the silly girl (the mother, not the kid) with blank eyes and turned the drier on again.
Time to work on sone resilience my friend! (Entitled little so and so)

YANBU but those hand driers are pure evil

It's called consideration.
It doesn't make my life any harder not to use it.

Wow. One of my kids is terrified of hand dryers but I’d never presume to tell someone else how to behave in public!

Yes, because only you matter. 🤢