Woman yelled at me in public toilets

[empee47]

Went to Tesco yesterday and visited the loo. Washed my hands and turned on the hand dryer and another lady started yelling at me that I was upsetting her daughter because of the noise. Daughter looked to be about 3 and was visibly distressed. Had they asked me not to use the dryer until they’d left the sink area and explained why, I wouldn’t have done. Apparently I can’t possibly be a mum myself as everyone knows kids are scared of the noise. Happens that I have 2 kids myself and the noise has never bothered them. It was the aggressive way she was bellowing at me in public that annoyed me and the sense of entitlement that everything had to run her way.

I know. What a strange thing to find on a section of a forum called mumsnet named “Am I being unreasonable”

Do you remember that fun phase when people were trying to force the abolition of clapping. In case someone with sensory issues were overwhelmed by the very human desire to clap, we all had to click? Never mind the fact that if you have (this severe or know you’re triggered by clapping) sensory issues you’re unlikely to be in a lecture hall of 200 other people but sure, let’s just sit here and click in case someone is upset by something that has been happening for the span of human existence.

ps as someone with sensory issues, a room full of clicking sends me right over the edge in a way clapping never has.

It's a small world isn't it @empee47 , I bet you didn't realise that there was another mn'er in the same Tesco toilets at exactly the same time as you and has seen your post on here in time to comment within less than 5 minutes of you posting .
It's amazing !

Or perhaps wasn't there and is just been antagonistic, I wonder . . . 🤔

I hate the “you obviously don’t have kids…” used at a stranger in an argument. It’s so deliberately hurtful.

Come on that was never seriously a thing. It was something one person likely said and the media picked up on it as an example of 'wokery'

There is a big difference between someone who does not use the dryer because of skin reactions and someone who flaps around then says the dryer doesn't work when it does.
The newer types rely on air speed and direction not temperature and are much quieter.

Nah you’re ok, I’ll wash and dry my hands with the perfectly good facilities provided.

Your point is what exactly? I wasn't there and you weren't so we don't know.
Bridge ➡

Well the alternatives are keeping your mouth shut or getting deleted for troll hunting.

On MN, people always go around screaming, shouting and yelling. It's well-known you just read that as "spoke a bit loudly".

Anyone who has ever said that to me has been told in a polite voice and a smile to "Jog off, actually I have had six."

It was probably the last straw in a difficult day with a 3 yr old. I wouldn't give it any more thoughts.

You don't work on telepathy.

They do make the most horrific noise and I completely understand why it upset her child but if she didn't ask you had no way of knowing.
I can't tolerate the sound of them but just have to go in and out of the toilets as quickly as possible.
I know a lot of people will think s this sounds mad but I do think there should be more consideration for people with misaphonia, autism etc when designing new products. They may work better than the older style driers but the noise is unbearable.

If the mother knew how much the dryers upset her child then she must have been aware that people would be using them
So she shouldn't have taken her in there.

what a pathetic comment 🤣🤣

I'd imagine the child was visibly upset because her mad mother was shouting at a stranger in the Tesco jacks.

I'm detest hand dryers, the noise causes me physical pain (I'm autistic and have significant sensory issues); however, that's my problem and not anyone else's responsibility.

You're not a mind reader OP. The woman who yelled at you was in the wrong, not you.

She's being ridiculous.

Ds and I are both autistic and hate the noise of hand dryers. We either use the disabled toilet so we dont have to hear it or we wear our ear defenders. You can't control the noise others make.

@Koalafan paper towels are generally not great esp in public toilets.
They are bad for the environment in both production and disposal, people leave used ones on the sinks and floors , use them to line toilet seats then flush , leave them on the floor or put them in the sani bins.
Or block the toilets with them.

I have cleaned public toilets in the past and was very glad then they started getting phased out.

How are hand driers unhygienic, you literally don’t touch anything ?

Wtf. Take some tissues in preparation for drying your hands in public??!! Incase you also upset a child?? Who has time to think this stuff through

Shes an idiot..all my kids hated hand dryer noises but I would never have a go at somone for using them in their presence! How were you to know! She should have took her kids out the bathroom like I do

My daughter looked it up and apparently they blow shit germs all over your hands

What a nutcase. My toddler is scared of them too but the thought of shouting at a stranger using one is insane. How were you supposed to know? I always just pre warn my dc that it might be loud and reassure her if it goes off.
I would imagine seeing her mother in an altercation with a stranger in a public loo would be more upsetting for a small child anyway.
Don’t give it another thought op. You did nothing wrong.

The child's anxiety was probably exacerbated by her mother's attitude, one of the 'Yes dear, you ARE scared of the dryer' types, many children are encouraged to be worried about trivial things.