Woman yelled at me in public toilets

[empee47]

Went to Tesco yesterday and visited the loo. Washed my hands and turned on the hand dryer and another lady started yelling at me that I was upsetting her daughter because of the noise. Daughter looked to be about 3 and was visibly distressed. Had they asked me not to use the dryer until they’d left the sink area and explained why, I wouldn’t have done. Apparently I can’t possibly be a mum myself as everyone knows kids are scared of the noise. Happens that I have 2 kids myself and the noise has never bothered them. It was the aggressive way she was bellowing at me in public that annoyed me and the sense of entitlement that everything had to run her way.

Never have. Never will.

if it’s a troll thread, doesn’t mean not fairly entertaining to watch unfold!

YANBU. I understand the woman might be anxious and tense about her child's distress and sometimes we externalise this and blame others around us. I sometimes feel utter rage when dogs barking or motorbikes revving or kids shouting wake my baby when we're out - but this is my issue since I've brought her to a shared space where people are living their lives. Unfortunately this woman has lost sight of that.

Obviously it's great to be considerate where we can, but we can't always pre-empt what's going to be unpleasant for a random stranger and we'd all go mad if we tried. Not your fault, OP, the most charitable thing to do is assume she was having a really bad day.

Totally understand that you don’t think anyone was unreasonable, I just disagree and think that the mum of the child was unreasonable. Is it ok for me to disagree with you?

I simply don’t believe the OP was bellowed at

Come to NI. You will be bellowed at regularly. Especially at soft play. Thank Christ those days are over for me.

people can do what they want, you are right, it’s your issue, not theirs

never in a million years!!!

That is very odd, although a woman at a public pool changing room did ask me once if it was ok if she blowdried her hair because I was with my child and she knew children could be fightened of the noise. As you say, if would have been better if the woman you encountered had asked you politely to wait until they had left rather than just assuming you'd be psychic and shouting at you.

It must have shaken you up.

Shouting at people is unacceptable and sets a bad example to her DC. She must’ve been having a stressful day.

Lots of young kids get upset by hand dryers. If they are, you explain to them it’s only a dryer and can’t hurt them. In fact, explain how it works and why it makes a noise. If it still upsets them, keep an eye if someone’s about to use one and get out of the toilets quickly or politely ask them if they can give you a minute to get out.

Not the point of the thread but should it not be front page news that the air from hand dryers is directly recycled from the air in the toilet bowl and therefore absolutely bung full of airborne poo particulates?
Does this mean you should wear a gas mask when going for a wee for fear of inhaling the poo drops of a million unwashed shitsprayers?

Nope. Both my kids didn't/ don't like the hand dryer noise. However, she can fuck right off with her rude and entitled behaviour

She was ridiculous. My toddler is scared of the hand dryer at the moment but I just warn him to cover his ears. I don’t use it myself when with him, but I don’t expect others not to use it.

Oh ok thanks for your input, really useful.

no problem

World doesn't revolve around her kid 🤷🏼‍♀️ don't worry about it

I know it's not the point of the thread, sorry, but I couldn't pass by this one..
Was always taught in nursing that if you don't dry your hands properly, you might as well not bother washing them!
Wet hands pick up and transfer bacteria so much more than dry hands do. Drying is just as important a step as any other part of hand washing. So I'm afraid I will be that person driving you nuts making sure my hands are bone dry🤣 That's why I much prefer tissue paper in a public bathroom!

Obviously YANBU OP. There’s one of two scenarios here, either she’s an entitled twat who thinks the world revolves around her and her little darlings or she’s someone having a bad day who is going to be mortified at how she’s behaved when she gets home and calms down.

She may well be a complete knob but I try to believe most people aren’t.

Well stop commenting then. Nobody actually cares if you believe the op was shouted at or not.

Do you actually mean that she had to speak louder than normal over the awful noise of the hand drier? Lots of children find those unpleasant, so I make a point of avoiding them these days, unless there's no other option. Paper towels are much better.

My 3 year old hates the noise of the hand dryer too but I'd never tell someone not to use one, or get mad if they do! That's ridiculous. I avoid using it myself when he's with me but that's as far as I go. He gets over it quickly when someone does (just puts his hands on his ears). The only way to get over the fear of a loud sudden noise is to experience it and get used to it.

She was being unreasonable.

Dd has autism and was absolutely terrified of hand driers until around age 7. Full meltdowns and refusal to go to the toilet at all when out.

So I started taking her into the disabled toilets where we could control whether it was turned on or not.

I told her that people liked to use them to dry their hands, and that we cant control what other people do just because it makes us scared. But that in this room it was her choice whether it turned on or not.

Eventually around age 7 she started turning it on herself and found it hilarious.

I was commenting to a specific poster, not the op

Maybe She’d had a very bad day with a child who, by the sound of it has sensory processing disorder.

Isn't it good for these kids to hear the noise and see that nothing bad happens and therefore become less scared of it over time? I mean, it's impossible for the whole world to be quiet and no-one to do anything in case a kid is scared right?

Ah OP all you need to do is develop your psychic skills and you'll be able to predict these things! DS is autistic and hand driers never bothered him as a child.