Woman yelled at me in public toilets

[empee47]

Went to Tesco yesterday and visited the loo. Washed my hands and turned on the hand dryer and another lady started yelling at me that I was upsetting her daughter because of the noise. Daughter looked to be about 3 and was visibly distressed. Had they asked me not to use the dryer until they’d left the sink area and explained why, I wouldn’t have done. Apparently I can’t possibly be a mum myself as everyone knows kids are scared of the noise. Happens that I have 2 kids myself and the noise has never bothered them. It was the aggressive way she was bellowing at me in public that annoyed me and the sense of entitlement that everything had to run her way.

I speak a second language fluently so in these type of situations I just pretend I can't speak English and blather on in the other language. It works a treat for arseholes. 😂

The op doesn’t clarify what she said in response to this woman “bellow”ing at her

That fact she’s posting here asking whether she’s being unreasonable

New to mumsnet?

My daughter's afraid of the sound of hand dryers. That is very much my problem to manage, not the problem of random women who are just trying to dry their hands!

You did nothing wrong. I've got kids who are have been scared of hand dryers but I'd never expect strangers to second guess that or adapt their behaviour to my children. She was out of order and totally ridiculous.

No

Was she shouting over the sound of the hand dryer?

Well you should that many many many an OP starts an AIBU when they very very clearly do not think they were even the slightest bit unreasonable

in any event,,, no one was reasonable or unreasonable in this scenario. Because this woman did not “bellow” at the Op

YANBU and I say that as a parent of a child who is terrified of them. We mitigate his potential distress ourselves (by using the accessible toilet or ear defenders) because he knows we cannot control the behaviour of others.

My 2 both went through stages of hating he hand dryer noise ( real tears trying to run away) but it was always my issue to deal with not anyone else’s. Some people would stop when they noticed and I would always thank them but mostly it was hand over the kids ears and manage it ( talking to them with a raised voice to be heard, telling them it was ok, just the dryer etc). Always fun if we were in the cubicle and it happened. Thankfully they both grew out of it eventually although one still hated it into their school years

👆 👆 This.

My DD is terrified of hand dryers. She is 2. I tell her every time she needs to get used to them! I don't shout at people for using them fgs!

My DD is autistic and gets really distressed when the hand dryers are used. If someone used them in her presence she'd be upset and I've have to calm her down. I would never suggest anyone shouldn't use them but this may have been a stressful situation for the mum who might have been anticipating a meltdown. She shouldn't have yelled at you but sometimes you just don't know what's going on in other people's lives. Move on and forget it.

Hello shouty mum 👋

I get a lot of mileage out of the phrase Do I look like Derren Brown?

Would have told her to bugger off the silly cow

True and in this case the OP is correct in thinking they were not in the slightest bit unreasonable.

We’ll have to agree to disagree on your second point. I think the mother of the child was the unreasonable one here even if she calmly reprimanded the OP for using the handryer.

The deadly poisonous shit riddled air that you are breathing deep into your lungs all the time you are in the toilet you mean???

PMSL 😂🙄

You have completely misunderstood my post if you think I think anyone was unreasonable

I simply don’t believe the OP was bellowed at

There are some very strange people in the world. My eldest hated the noise from hand dryers when he was small, so we were usually in and out of the toilets like ninjas! Certainly didn’t expect anyone to be a bloody mind reader. Some women noticed him clamping his hands over his ears and kindly stopped using the dryer, which is what I would do if I became aware of the problem. But you have to be aware that there’s a problem in the first place. My youngest wasn’t in the least bit bothered by dryer noise, so it’s certainly not inevitable that children will be distressed.

If you don't think this thread is genuine, report it.

I’ll be honest here under the cloak of anonymity: people are fucking ridiculous with the hand driers, ensuring no drip of water remains on their hands rather than a quick blast.

Its my issue but sometimes I do really want to start shouting at everyone to STFU with them; I hate them!

If she was shouting at you (rather than just trying to be heard over the sound of the dryer) then she's a dick. The world doesn't revolve around her child.