Another neighbour post

[Lesleyann25]

I am having an ongoing problem with my downstairs neighbour. My daughter and I moved into a large apartment in December it’s a really good area and we like it here.

It started as soon as we moved in, there is a lady in her 60s with her adult son about 20. It appears the son stays up all night and sleeps all day and games under my room until around 4am shouting at the screen. I spoke to lady she was very nice said she would tell him to keep it and down and went on a long spiel about him having mental health problems and waiting for a diagnosis for autism so I have tried to cut them a bit of slack but it really isn’t on I have to listen to podcasts to sleep. What has really annoyed me is that my daughters bedroom door is a bit stiff so it makes a bit of noise when she closes it in the mornings but I am talking about 8am, we are out all day and go to bed by 10 as I have work too.

Now the son has started slamming doors at 4am I am assuming in revenge so I have reported them to the council. Autism and mental health is not a reason to keep other people up all night surely? I think it’s completely out of order. She said he has insomnia too. Anyone else dealt with this?

ok I get the sons behaviour is not good and if it’s noisy ok report. Do you own? Do they? If rented report to the owner.

however why haven’t you sorted your daughters door? If you do that at least you can say you sorted your problem out there

We did get the door fixed but unfortunately he must not have done it properly. We both rent but that’s besides the point. A creaky door is a hell of difference to someone shouting all night. Dont you think?

A friend stayed over last week and said the noise coming from down there is absolutely ridiculous at that hour. Think i have managed to blank someone of it. We are quiet and considering the noise we have tolerated at ungodly hours doesn’t warrant door slamming all night along with the shouting.

All you can do is report and keep a diary of noise disturbance for evidence. Can you make a recording of the noise too? Of course it's not fair for your neighbours to make noise all night. Have you tried WD40 on the creaky door?

Yes it’s not even very loud but it’s clearly night time for the boy downstairs when it’s day time so it’s just normal general noise really which he’s responded to by slamming doors. We cannot live to accommodate a nocturnal lifestyle.

Realistically, this isn't going to get any better. I'd move out as soon as the fixed term ends.

^This. There is no amount of moving aggravation that I wouldn't put up with when the other option is living with that situation.

Expensive and a pain in the ass, but the situation will not get better.

You are right, the son’s behaviour is completely unacceptable. (The reason why he behaves like this, is in my opinion irrelevant. You cannot disturb neighbours like this at night, no matter what the reason is.) Unfortunately after lots of complaining (landlord, police) you will see they’ll all say ‘there is nothing we can do’ resulting in you having to move out so that you can finally have peace at night. It’s terribly unfair and I really feel for you.

I am not moving out it is an ideal location for my daughter’s school we are very happy here. They will keep quiet during the night and I will use the authorities to enforce it.

Keep reporting to environmental health at the council. Also speak to your landlord. We had tenants move out because of noisy neighbours. Wish they’d let us know about the issue so we could have helped resolve the situation. The noisy neighbours moved in after we moved and our tenants moved in so we didn’t know new neighbours were noisy.
his nocturnal lifestyle and gaming all night will not be helping his mental health and his Mum needs to stop making excuses for her adult son.

Honestly I am not moving we had quite a bit of upheaval due to split with her father and she loves it here. I will ensure that it ends and I am definitely not going to pacified by the boys gender, Autism none of that makes you a selfish disrespectful person. They live a dysfunctional life and if they want to continue to do so they can move. I mean it too. The mother is in her 60s I could understand more if the boy lived there alone. She will sort it out or she will move out.

Do you have carpets or wooden floors
Is there sufficient soundproofing and underlay on the floors
Have you thought to sort the door out if it's giving them hell too??

It’s not fixed term after split from my ex i could not afford to buy on my own. I got very lucky and got a beautiful apartment in one of the best parts of the city from the council. There’s only 4 apartments and the other 2 are owned. All decent people going out to work living normal lives. No way would my child be sleeping all day these parents definitely can be a big part of the problem. I’d say get out to work or college of move out.

The door isn’t giving them hell it’s a little cream and we are never in because we have a full life not one that consists on rotting in bed all day then being completely anti social at night. Oh and I guess the weed smoking isn’t helping the boys mental health. All bloody excuses and im not buying it.

If the boy has autism then it may not be possible to keep him quiet. I appreciate that it's difficult but it's difficult for them too. Why have you assumed the door slamming is revenge? Could you see about soundproofing?

How do you suggest the 60 year old woman sorts it out? He's an adult, she can't really gag him. You're essentially trying to get a disabled person and their carer evicted? I'd move myself first.

The Autism is self diagnosed they do not even know if he has it and if I smoked weed my mental health would probably suffer. No im not trying to get a disabled person evicted. Im trying to get some sleep for work.

Really unbelievable.

How about the woman move somewhere more suitable. Lots of people have mental health and do not keep the neighbours up all night. I get anxiety should I just start blasting music all night and say sorry it’s the only thing that helps me. Doesn’t work like that.

Why are you here then? You don't want people's opinions, you want to rage at the struggling people downstairs.

If it makes you feel better to paint the family as entirely responsible for their own difficulties then fine, but don't expect everyone to agree with you. The truth is you don't know them, and are making a load of assumptions to suit the narrative you want. I'm not going to join in with that.

If he games all night and sleeps all day he doesn't have insomnia, he has developed a nocturnal sleeping pattern. I speak from experience.
Keep reporting, don't back down. He's obviously got his mother dancing to his tune and expects everyone else to also. Pisses me right off when people cite "mental health issues" for behaving like a dickhead!

(Edit- spelling)

I have lived here long enough to see what the problems are downstairs and it’s certainly not up to you if I post or not! I am single mother of an 11 year going through puberty we all have struggles would not be an excuse for me to keep others up all night would it. It’s out of order and you know it.

I am not backing down his mother is enabling him to live a terrible lifestyle and no I don’t want the weed smell drifting into my 11 year olds bedroom they are lucky i don’t call the bloody police.

The purpose of this board is to ask people's advice on what to do in a certain situation. You are already decided, and any suggestions are batted away rudely. I don't really know what you want people to say?

Noise is awful, and I appreciate why you're bothered by it, but there's no need to go further and consider yourself an expert, judge and jury on their situation when you have no idea.

I really do not want to seem rude but you’re literally just getting your first taste of living in social housing. The fact that your other neighbours that are decent, own their homes, speaks volumes here. This won’t get better and you literally will not be able to force them out of their house because of their behaviour - it will just be a long and continuous battle with your local authority until you decide you’ve had enough and move yourself. Continue to listen to your podcasts or buy some earplugs and try not to let your neighbours actions or lack of affect your life and own mental health so much. Literally nothing you can do to change it. We had to move out of a rented flat that was in a council block because the social housing tenant upstairs would blast loud music and lift weights at midnight every night - it was absolutely awful so I do sympathise but nothing you do will stop it - just from experience.

i will take on peoples opinions but moving out is not an option it would be too disruptive to my child about to have the massive change of going to high school. I can hear and she is screaming with laughter with his friends online clearly high in dope. Now that is not acceptable at 4am the smell comes through when my window is open so dont try to tell me I am in the wrong here.