Another neighbour post

[Lesleyann25]

I am having an ongoing problem with my downstairs neighbour. My daughter and I moved into a large apartment in December it’s a really good area and we like it here.

It started as soon as we moved in, there is a lady in her 60s with her adult son about 20. It appears the son stays up all night and sleeps all day and games under my room until around 4am shouting at the screen. I spoke to lady she was very nice said she would tell him to keep it and down and went on a long spiel about him having mental health problems and waiting for a diagnosis for autism so I have tried to cut them a bit of slack but it really isn’t on I have to listen to podcasts to sleep. What has really annoyed me is that my daughters bedroom door is a bit stiff so it makes a bit of noise when she closes it in the mornings but I am talking about 8am, we are out all day and go to bed by 10 as I have work too.

Now the son has started slamming doors at 4am I am assuming in revenge so I have reported them to the council. Autism and mental health is not a reason to keep other people up all night surely? I think it’s completely out of order. She said he has insomnia too. Anyone else dealt with this?

Yes, i said if he cannot sleep cannot he not listen to something with headphones but then the kids just gets smart and starts making more noise I think she has zero control at all.

How much are you saving on rent each month compared to private rental? You've said it's a great flat in a central location.

I'd consider getting a raised soundproofed floor fitted throughout the flat. If you laid 100mm of soundproofing and then boarding+underlay+carpet one top, it should resolve the problem.

It might cost a few thousand to get it done professionally, but that might only be a few months in saved rent.

I think you'd need a layer of high density rubber laid on the existing floorboards and then the frame for the new floor would sit on top of that to prevent noise conducting through the wood. The 100mm insulation would sit within the frame.

https://www.insulationsuperstore.co.uk/product/rockwool-rwa45-acoustic-insulation-slab.html

You could also potentially lift up the existing floorboards and lay 100mm of insulation on top of the ceiling below, but that might need permission from the freeholder (if you informed them..) and wouldn't be as effective.

Doing both would be ideal.

@Lesleyann25 Yes, it does sound like he has no respect for her and she has no control over him. If I were her (and assuming the tenancy was in my sole name) I'd kick him out - but then, I can be a badass bitch when riled. 😂

I will do that but since I am on a pip at work I am afraid to spend much money in case I end up out of work for a few months.

If he is very disrespectful. A little creak from our door in the morning caused 3 nights worth of door slamming all throughout the night. If he didn’t act like such a shit I might have more understanding.

I can bet my bottom dollar the mother of the young man is a victim of parental abuse, a type of abuse that is very common but not spoken of as so much shame and embarrassment is involved.

My own DM lives with my middle aged ‘D’B and I can 100% see her living with him in a situation where he makes the OPs life shit and she plays it down because she’s also a victim.

What has the boy’s gender got to do with it? Completely agree about the unacceptable noise and weed btw - let your landlord know and file an online report with the police.

What the hell has been posted to suggest that the son is being abusive to his mother?

Some of you are so predictable - an OP comes with a goady as fuck post they make up as they go along and the fantasists and storytellers come flocking. Have you thought of maybe just reading a book?

And if it's MY comment that gets deleted, when MNHQ have endorsed the comments made by the OP and some of the other posters in this thread, that pretty much sums up the "spirit of Mumsnet".

I have heard him screaming and shouting at her and it’s bad. Obviously bevause he is post op I thought it was her screaming at him when I first moved in because it’s a female
voice so it was confusing.

A goady post get real will
you.

Boys gender has got nothing to do with it. Disrespectful people are disrespectful regardless of their gender.

What comments have I made stop clutching your pearls and get a hold of
yourself

You seem very angry about a post by strangers on the internet. Are you ok?

I read the OP and a few of her follow ups. It does read to me as though this young man is a nightmare for her, and if he lives alone with his DM, I assume he’s also incredibly disrespectful to his own mother. My Brother is abusive to my mother but she will play it down to protect him. This is fact, not fiction in my life.

I recognise you from
other posts. Quite the antagonistic type aren’t you. This is not goady for your info this is what I am
putting up with. You go and read a book.

She probably has kids that show zero respect to others. Hence the high horse.

Autism - "waiting for a diagnosis of autism" but not an excuse for bad behaviour, made up, caused by parenting, 20 is old enough, "over indulgence", "too much leeway" can control it.....

Gender - "nothing to do with gender" yet YOU are the only one who has even mentioned gender. When barely anyone responds to those prompts, you throw it in again..... eg your comment at 18.45

Social housing - we all know that social housing tenants are the scummiest of the scum, except you - naturally

You can't just throw up accusations of being abusive about someone you know nothing about.

If you're giving the OP the benefit of the doubt, this is a real person you're making these - unfounded - accusations about.

I am not explaining myself to
you but for the benefit of others I thought maybe the mother is finding this a difficult situation. Dont try to paint me as some bigot you foolish person.

leave the thread im
not interested in your input to be honest. Slimg
your hook.

And yeah I can verify I hear the abusive behaviour.

🤣🤣

Am sure she is finding it a difficult situation.

Eviction is obviously the answer to her troubles.

He's not a "boy", he's a grown man.

Or a girl..... depending on which storyline you're following