Another neighbour post

[Lesleyann25]

I am having an ongoing problem with my downstairs neighbour. My daughter and I moved into a large apartment in December it’s a really good area and we like it here.

It started as soon as we moved in, there is a lady in her 60s with her adult son about 20. It appears the son stays up all night and sleeps all day and games under my room until around 4am shouting at the screen. I spoke to lady she was very nice said she would tell him to keep it and down and went on a long spiel about him having mental health problems and waiting for a diagnosis for autism so I have tried to cut them a bit of slack but it really isn’t on I have to listen to podcasts to sleep. What has really annoyed me is that my daughters bedroom door is a bit stiff so it makes a bit of noise when she closes it in the mornings but I am talking about 8am, we are out all day and go to bed by 10 as I have work too.

Now the son has started slamming doors at 4am I am assuming in revenge so I have reported them to the council. Autism and mental health is not a reason to keep other people up all night surely? I think it’s completely out of order. She said he has insomnia too. Anyone else dealt with this?

To hell with his mental illness.

What about the OPs MH and that of her child being constantly disturbed?

OP, kick up as big a stink as you can.

Is your child to tired to go to school because of this?

School refusal is an issue.
Perhaps come at it from that angle.

I was a housing officer for tenants with LDs and MH issues for a few years. We never, ever did anything about noise nuisance, unless they were having raves late into the night or something, other than encourage tenants to be quieter and carry out some basic soundproofing where that was possible.

The management view was that the courts wouldn't grant possession to such vulnerable tenants, so we'd be wasting time and money.

It's not waking her DD.

I understand maybe they will give them money to help with soundproofing, maybe they won’t but something has to give.

My Daughter room isn’t beside his room plus she sleeps really well. Its
my job I am mainly concerned about and yes I want to be happy. Lack of sleep makes you very grumpy

I don't think you're listening OP. It's almost certain that nothing "will give", however angry you are.

Could you swap the rooms round so that the living room becomes your bedroom and vice versa? It might be preferable to sleeping on the sofa.

I was involved with a case where a council tenant continued to cause a noise nuisance at night, even though they'd been served with a noise abatement notice by the council. After some time (it did take more than a year) the council didn't move the noisy tenant - they evicted them, and they had no duty to rehouse them as they were deemed to be intentionally homeless due to their own unreasonable behaviour. The council will help if there's evidence of wrong-doing, but it will take time.

You do have my sympathies as I've had the noisy 20 year old weed smoking neighbour playing thumping bass music all night. I posted about it on MN at the time as it was literally driving me insane. Me and another neighbour ganged up on him to tell him off (once at 4am!) and I wrote to his mother who lives in another country and owns the flat and it got a bit better and thank god, he moved out last year.

My friends have just sold their very expensive London garden flat to move to another expensive top floor flat due to excess noise from the primary aged child above them that had gone on for over 2 years, tantrumming and screaming and running around at all hours of the day & night. He was stamping on the floor so hard it dislodged some of the glass off their very solid light fitting. He did sound autistic to me but that's just a guess. Parents were not very apologetic and just said "he's just a child" and "what can we do" with a shrug. My friends were on the management company board for their flats and despite engaging lawyers and threatening legal action against the private landlord even then couldn't get the parents evicted.

So I fear that despite all your complaining and reporting, I wouldn't get your hopes up it will change.

Both my friends and I tried recording the noise and complaining to the council but they won't act on noise complaints unless it's really severe and can be heard outside ( like a a loud party with speakers every night). You are probably hearing the sound travelling upwards through the ceiling/floorboards/joists as I was but it may not even register at all outside your flats. My neighbours could hardly be heard outside but was thumping inside my bedroom but it didn't really show up as loud on a recording thing as the decibels just wouldn't register. I reported the weed to the police but they won't come out for a bit of dope smoking inside a house, - they weren't even interested that there was clearly drug dealing going.

The best I can suggest is getting very good earplugs (I got Loop ones) and keep going down to complain to him and his mother.

So I see. Thank
you.

I agree. Record and report. The council (you’re both council tenants?) has a duty of care, and their anti social behaviour team will investigate, eventually. Noise nuisance is very hard to live with, especially at night when most of us are trying to sleep.

OP's already posted that her DD is a good sleeper and isn't disturbed by the noise. It's OP that's having the problem and is now on a PIP at work due to making mistakes caused by her tiredness.

I worked night shifts for years. You have to train yourself to sleep through the noise. I advise you to learn these skills while also seeking a resolution.

The war part you are on is going to be a long and hard one made worse from no sleep!

Seriously if they put a recording Device in my room they would immediately see that I am not making a song and dance over nothing. I just assumed if someone had autism to the point of having no control over behaviour it would be picked up before the age of 20. I am no expert though.

It is the point if they rent. It’s easier to evict a nuisance neighbour if they’re not owner occupiers if things continue, as they’re in breach of their tenancy agreement.

yes, i agree. It could be worse I could have party animals playing
loud music all night long and taking
more serious drugs which would be terrible for us. Mental illness and autism have a very wide spectrum so it is hard to speculate but when I did speak to the mother it did stop for weeks which makes me think
he does have control just doesn’t care.

Sorry, quoted the wrong post, meant to quote the OP:

Lesleyann25 · 24/05/2025 10:31
We did get the door fixed but unfortunately he must not have done it properly. We both rent but that’s besides the point. A creaky door is a hell of difference to someone shouting all night. Dont you think?

I have a friend who was a psych nurse in a prison hospital wing before he retrained as a psychotherapist.

He reckoned that around 2/3 of the patients in there were undiagnosed autistics.

Not unreasonable and I don't think anyone here is saying that it is unreasonable. None of us would enjoy living under those circumstances. At all.

However, OP needs to be realistic about her expectations. The council isn't going to do shit.

The authorities can't make them be quiet like the OP seems to think that they can. Short of evicting them, what do either you or the OP expect the authorities to do to enforce anything?

We all know it's a nightmare situation, but OP seems to think this is a battle she is going to win when she won't. People are being realistic when they tell her that.

So, she either puts in measures to soundproof her home as much as possible or she makes the decision to move herself.

You'll drive yourself crazy if you think you can complain your way into controlling someone else's behaviour.

I had this a few years back. Both HA tenants. It was loud music and slamming doors that shook my whole flat. I was going into work in yhe morning like a zombie so my boss even called the HA to tell them that I wasn't worth a button because I wasn't getting any sleep. Something needed to be done. They advised I call the police each time and get a report number. They then gave the neighbours 3 warnings and were told next time thed be issued an ASBO. Then the HA was taken over and we had to start the process all over again. I moved out. I couldn't handle anymore. I hope that's not the case for you x

I’m all with you.
I do feel sorry for 60yr old mum, she must be beyond her wits end and worse. She probably has been left to look after him with not a lot of help from the authorities and probably hasn’t slept a full night for years. Probably is well aware every neighbour moves away and all that entails. Her DS with loud music / tv / banging anything about / unpredictable / embarrassed she probably once wished for a peaceful retirement. Now knowing she will be a carer for all her days.
All that being said, and I do really feel for people as I know of people in the same predicament, but to put a family in a flat to then upset other families isn’t fair on anyone. Yes advise the local council and maybe they can help everyone all round.

I don’t think I can complain into controlling someone else’s behaviour but if it is as suspect and the boy can control his night time antics the council might just give him a kick up the arse. I have friend come to stay on occasion and they said just no do not be listening to these excuses it can be helped that’s their lifestyle and while you cannot dictate how people live they’re is an 11-7am law for this very reason.

I think you have proven that you are no expert in the realm of autism or mental health.

Many people with autism aren't diagnosed until later in life (if at all). Believe it or not, it's not always immediately obvious as a child especially if the adults around the child aren't well-versed in the signs to watch out for.

So, it's not only possible for a person to be 20 years old and going through the process of getting a diagnosis for autism but credible, too.

If you don't understand something, maybe don't speak on it with such certainty.

I totally agree unfortunately it doesn’t sound like that is going to happens. She has spoken to the mun (good, right thing to do) and it hasn’t helped. Unfortunately I can’t see this being resolved without someone moving.

And what will you do if you find out that he can't control his night time antics?

What then?