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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend has caused nearly £300 plus worth of destruction

532 replies

Bunnyboilerfriend · 23/05/2025 07:49

I had my friend stay the night last night, I waved her off goodbye this morning.

I said something unwittingly last night that made her think I’m after the same man she is, I am not. He is a mutual friend. I could see she was upset and tried to clarify things, she said she understood and she was fine. We both went to bed. Me upstairs. Her downstairs.

After I have seen her off this morning, I have just noticed a number of my jewellery on the hallways console are either broken or bent out of shape beyond recognition.

They were fine last night, there is no one else here who could have done it. I could see she was not only upset but angry last night, but seemed to have composed herself and it was resolved.

I have just sent a text to her saying can you tell me what happened to my jewellery on the console?

I am so shocked and upset I’m almost shaking, I feel so betrayed and violated.

What can I do next?

OP posts:
Iwrotethelyricstoaxlf · 23/05/2025 07:51

That is not a friend. Though I suspect you already realise that.

Hopefully she’ll offer to pay for replacements or repair.

I wouldn’t bank on it though.

Viviennemary · 23/05/2025 07:53

You simply have no actual proof she did this. But if you are sure she did then end the friendship and have nothing more to do with her. It does seem an odd thing to do when she would be the obvious suspect. She is unhinged.

Largestlegocollectionever · 23/05/2025 07:53

I’d threaten her with police for criminal damage and small claims court if she doesn’t pay you back for new items.
Id also them delete block her and made sure I told mutual male friend and warned him!

ChandrilanDiscoDroid · 23/05/2025 07:53

If the total cost impact is £300, I'm going to assume none of the pieces of jewellery are valuable enough to be individually covered by your home insurance. You can check your policy to see if they will offer you any coverage.

About your friend? No. She's absolutely psychotic, she has 0.0001% chance of ever expressing remorse or paying you back. Your friendship is also over, but you knew that already.

Shrewsbury247 · 23/05/2025 07:53

Red flag central 🚩 she sounds unhinged. I’d be cutting her out of my social circle entirely!!

Sunnyday321 · 23/05/2025 07:55

Wait until she replies to you . If it was her then it's unforgivable she did that and continued to spend the night as yours , you'd think you would have had the disagreement and she would have left there and then .
In regard to the jewellery , I'm not sure you can do much as how would you prove it was her ?
Either way your friendship is over .

LegoTherapy · 23/05/2025 07:55

Viviennemary · 23/05/2025 07:53

You simply have no actual proof she did this. But if you are sure she did then end the friendship and have nothing more to do with her. It does seem an odd thing to do when she would be the obvious suspect. She is unhinged.

Did the Borrowers come in and do it? OP states there was no one else who could have done it.

Loopytiles · 23/05/2025 07:59

Could you clarify ‘jewellery on the hallways console’: does this mean items in a closed box that has been opened, items hanging up on a stand, or on the wall?

Are you sure there’s no other explanation?

If so, would accuse her, ask her to pay and report it to the police, but you can’t prove it so wouldn’t have much chance at a small claims court. Friendship obviously over.

Exitin · 23/05/2025 08:01

That’s scary. She sounds unhinged. Will be hard to prove unfortunately but it does seem almost certain that she did it. No other explanation comes to mind. Can you bluff that you have cctv coverage of her doing it to get a text confession ?

The closest situation I had to that is when I was younger a friend of a friend who had taken a shine to me on a night out and was being quite possessive of me if I spoke to men. I can’t remember if she was angry I spent more time at the club with some guys or something but when we all went back to my mutual friends house to crash, I left my heels in the living room.

They had a lovely rose design on the front of it - think she’d actually complimented them.

In the morning the rose fabric bit was ripped off, couldn’t have been an accident! Wasn’t worth £300 lol but they were my favourite party shoes.

ETA: I initially thought you said 3K not £300 Tbh in that case I’d just end the friendship after I’d told her what I think of her but wouldn’t pursue criminal action.

I’d probably let the love interest know as well if he’s your mate, because think how possessive and jealous she would be over him if they got together.

faerietales · 23/05/2025 08:03

Viviennemary · 23/05/2025 07:53

You simply have no actual proof she did this. But if you are sure she did then end the friendship and have nothing more to do with her. It does seem an odd thing to do when she would be the obvious suspect. She is unhinged.

Who else do you imagine it was then, an alien? A ghost? A very specific burglar?

ThejoyofNC · 23/05/2025 08:04

Try and get an admission by text message and take her to small claims court. What a vile person she is.

Koazy · 23/05/2025 08:05

What a freak. Who does that?

orangegato · 23/05/2025 08:07

Do not let her in your house (or life) ever again, that’s sinister creepy behaviour, cut your losses and block.

Ellie1015 · 23/05/2025 08:09

Awful behaviour. She is not a friend. Completely irrational for her to damage your jewellery for any reason.

For me there is nothing she can say to excuse it (and I doubt she will even admit it never mind apologise). I would not be friends anymore.

CalicoPusscat · 23/05/2025 08:09

That sounds horrible 😮

She is incredibly unlikely to admit it if she did. Has she always had anger issues since you met her?

Notsuchafattynow · 23/05/2025 08:09

I'd be considering changing my locks!

Oxpeckercarnival · 23/05/2025 08:10

Seriously watch out. You can't prove your jewellery wasn't already damaged but she will most likely be spreading a narrative about you already. Talk to your mutual friends ASAP.

SamphiretheTervosaur · 23/05/2025 08:10

Once, when I was about 14, a friend had the same thoughts about me and she scratched every vinyl record I owned. She was the only person other than me who had been in my room that day and she looked me in the eye and told me I couldn't prove it was her

As a 14 year old I was illogic with anger and marched to her house, into her room and trashed it. On the way out she was stood with her mother looking very angry... and you can guess what I said

As an adult I wouldn't do it, obviously, but this shows just how immature your friend is. Whether she admits it or not she won't pay up. But you don't have to be quiet and polite about it. The friendship is done, she burned it. Tell her how disgusted your are, what a childish bitch she is and then forget her... and the loss if you can!

I would probably turn it into a "How odd people can be" story that gets told often, with no names, obviously!

Original poster
Bunnyboilerfriend · 23/05/2025 08:10

Just received a reply:

”You stumbled and fell on the console when you were going upstairs last night, I came to see what happened and you just shrugged your shoulders and went upstairs. I did not brake(sic) your stuff. I have treated you well and I don’t know why you would assume I would brake your stuff.”

I absolutely DID NOT stumble nor fall. Even so, the damage done has nothing to do with that. They are all still neatly on the table but totally damaged.

OP posts:
Fluffypotatoe123987 · 23/05/2025 08:12

Post a pic i cant visualise this.

Happyinarcon · 23/05/2025 08:12

I feel this is the beginning of a poltergeist movie.

TheMeasure · 23/05/2025 08:13

She had that neat and tidy response all ready to go, didn’t she? None of the more natural responses of, “what do you mean? What jewellery?” etc

JohnMajorsChicken · 23/05/2025 08:14

Bunnyboilerfriend · 23/05/2025 08:10

Just received a reply:

”You stumbled and fell on the console when you were going upstairs last night, I came to see what happened and you just shrugged your shoulders and went upstairs. I did not brake(sic) your stuff. I have treated you well and I don’t know why you would assume I would brake your stuff.”

I absolutely DID NOT stumble nor fall. Even so, the damage done has nothing to do with that. They are all still neatly on the table but totally damaged.

Edited

Well that's obviously bullshit. It's up to you what you do next, but I'd tell her that I know that didn't happen. The only logical explanation is that she did something out of malice, and you're not willing to accept that behaviour from a so called friend. Then block her (and tell everyone you know!)

MatildaMovesMountains · 23/05/2025 08:14

YABU for using the phrase "nearly £300 plus" 😅.

HotCrossBunplease · 23/05/2025 08:15

Were you both completely trashed? Surely if you were sober she would not telling you that you had stumbled as she would know that you’d remember it yourself.

If you were both drunk I think you either have to put it all down to wine-induced erratic behaviour and forget it, or just end the friendship.

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