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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend has caused nearly £300 plus worth of destruction

532 replies

Bunnyboilerfriend · 23/05/2025 07:49

I had my friend stay the night last night, I waved her off goodbye this morning.

I said something unwittingly last night that made her think I’m after the same man she is, I am not. He is a mutual friend. I could see she was upset and tried to clarify things, she said she understood and she was fine. We both went to bed. Me upstairs. Her downstairs.

After I have seen her off this morning, I have just noticed a number of my jewellery on the hallways console are either broken or bent out of shape beyond recognition.

They were fine last night, there is no one else here who could have done it. I could see she was not only upset but angry last night, but seemed to have composed herself and it was resolved.

I have just sent a text to her saying can you tell me what happened to my jewellery on the console?

I am so shocked and upset I’m almost shaking, I feel so betrayed and violated.

What can I do next?

OP posts:
3luckystars · 23/05/2025 08:43

nutter

end comms

roses2 · 23/05/2025 08:44

I'd warn this man she is batshit and go after him myself as petty revenge.

saraclara · 23/05/2025 08:44

Trallala · 23/05/2025 08:39

OP, did you mention in your first message to her that your jewellery is broken? Because if you didn't, it's a bit suspicious that she knew it was broken, rather than lost/ missing/ in a different place.

That. You asked what happened to it. You could have meant that it was no longer there. But she went straight to it being broken.

heffalumpwoozle · 23/05/2025 08:45

OP she's clearly mentally unwell and whether or not she confesses seems a bit irrelevant at this point as you know what she did. You need to decide how to take it forward.

I would let her know that the friendship is over for the time being, and also suggest that she find some help for her mental illness.

RubyExpert · 23/05/2025 08:45

Erm what does "nearly £300 plus" mean? Not to nitpick but nearly £300 means under £300, and £300 plus means over £300. It's either or surely.

I'd bluff that I have nanny cam/cctv footage just to spook her. Wouldn't pursue any real action though as I doubt you have any real proof. She sounds dangerous, just stay away from her after this.

AutumnLover1989 · 23/05/2025 08:45

Tell her "we both know that didn't happen (fall) so I want you to be completely honest with me or our friendship is over". And end the friendship anyway even if she tells you the truth. What a psycho 😮

Tooty78 · 23/05/2025 08:46

I would mention cctv and police in any messages if you contact her again, just to worry her and spoil her week end.
But I am petty like that.

justasking111 · 23/05/2025 08:47

I would warn the mutual friend that she's interested in.

Notsosure1 · 23/05/2025 08:48

SamphiretheTervosaur · 23/05/2025 08:10

Once, when I was about 14, a friend had the same thoughts about me and she scratched every vinyl record I owned. She was the only person other than me who had been in my room that day and she looked me in the eye and told me I couldn't prove it was her

As a 14 year old I was illogic with anger and marched to her house, into her room and trashed it. On the way out she was stood with her mother looking very angry... and you can guess what I said

As an adult I wouldn't do it, obviously, but this shows just how immature your friend is. Whether she admits it or not she won't pay up. But you don't have to be quiet and polite about it. The friendship is done, she burned it. Tell her how disgusted your are, what a childish bitch she is and then forget her... and the loss if you can!

I would probably turn it into a "How odd people can be" story that gets told often, with no names, obviously!

Why no names? Absolutely name and shame!

CalmDownCats · 23/05/2025 08:52

I think you need to tell your other friend, he needs to know how she can be before he gets into a relationship with her. He may not even like her FFS.

Notsosure1 · 23/05/2025 08:53

OP tell her you have visual proof it was her. To stop lying. You have a camera in there for security. (You’re allowed them in places where ppl don’t expect privacy - bedrooms, bathrooms, toilets). See what she says then.

Also tell all your mutual friends! It was obv her, no question -send photos of your damaged jewellery to group chats, if they include her all the better. Trash her reputation warn them of her dangerous, sociopathic behaviour before it affects them. Explain what happened without publicly accusing her in writing and ask them what they think happened? Let them draw their own conclusions.

The guy she likes would be mental to have anything to do with her.

YourSignalFadedIntoAnotherWorld · 23/05/2025 08:53

Agree with PP. chuck your toothbrush away and check for other damage. who knows what else she did when you were asleep.

user1492757084 · 23/05/2025 08:54

Put the broken jewellery down to experience.
Learn how to ghost someone, and ghost her.
Your friend is not your friend. Don't communicate again.

You could also have the pieces dusted for finger printsand keep all the evidence incase your unhinged friend needs to be issued a restaining order in the future.

Original poster
Bunnyboilerfriend · 23/05/2025 08:55

My text only asked what happened to my jewellery, and made no mention of “brake”, it is only her who has said this.

OP posts:
SpaceBunniesareCool · 23/05/2025 08:55

What has the friendship been like in the past? have there been any red flags?

I think I'd handle this carefully if I were you as she could be a lot more dangerous than you think. This seems like the actions of someone who is angry and vindictive.

I would text back something like 'you and I both know that is not the truth'.

Then end the friendship.

It might be worth having a chat with your mutual male friend under the caveat of him not saying anything to her. If she finds out you spoke to him her behaviour could escalate into bigger problems. But this sort of behaviour isn't normal and can signal much deeper problems. If he's a friend I think he should know.

CloverPyramid · 23/05/2025 08:57

I’d just reply saying “we both know that didn’t happen. Each piece was individually damaged, clearly done deliberately by someone’s hand. I don’t expect you to be decent enough to admit to it, as decent people wouldn’t do something like this in the first place. But fuck you.” And then block her.

YourSignalFadedIntoAnotherWorld · 23/05/2025 08:57

Notsosure1 · 23/05/2025 08:53

OP tell her you have visual proof it was her. To stop lying. You have a camera in there for security. (You’re allowed them in places where ppl don’t expect privacy - bedrooms, bathrooms, toilets). See what she says then.

Also tell all your mutual friends! It was obv her, no question -send photos of your damaged jewellery to group chats, if they include her all the better. Trash her reputation warn them of her dangerous, sociopathic behaviour before it affects them. Explain what happened without publicly accusing her in writing and ask them what they think happened? Let them draw their own conclusions.

The guy she likes would be mental to have anything to do with her.

I would take care with this route. She can sue you for defamation as you have no actual proof even though it's obvious who did it.

This won't be her first time at this sort of thing I imagine.

Blackdow · 23/05/2025 08:58

NotSayingImBatman · 23/05/2025 08:22

Shag the bloke. Tell her about it. Block her.

It's the only reasonable solution at this point.

Yes, do this 😂. Only if you actually want to shag the bloke though!

AutumnLover1989 · 23/05/2025 08:59

Bunnyboilerfriend · 23/05/2025 08:55

My text only asked what happened to my jewellery, and made no mention of “brake”, it is only her who has said this.

Tells you all you need to know.

HunnyPot · 23/05/2025 09:00

She sounds unhinged. Can you warn the man she is after about her behaviour?

whynotmereally · 23/05/2025 09:01

I would reply saying. We both know I didn’t fall and that jewelry wouldn’t bend or break from a stumble . You have violated my trust and obviously our friendship is over.

Then block on all platforms and maybe get a ring doorbell if you haven’t already as she sounds a bit scary.

id probably give mutual friends a heads up too, not slating her as that will make things worse but give them the facts.

TheBossOfMe · 23/05/2025 09:01

AutumnLover1989 · 23/05/2025 08:59

Tells you all you need to know.

Show quote history

This. If I got a text asking what happened to the jewellery, my first assumption would be that you were saying it had gone missing, not that it was broken.

Notsosure1 · 23/05/2025 09:02

YourSignalFadedIntoAnotherWorld · 23/05/2025 08:57

I would take care with this route. She can sue you for defamation as you have no actual proof even though it's obvious who did it.

This won't be her first time at this sort of thing I imagine.

Edited
Show quote history

OP can tell her friends what she thinks happened - I don’t think there would be a case for defaming the ‘friend’ as it’s quite obvious what happened and I highly doubt she’d want to go down the legal route. If she did I think police have something called DNA testing…?

This is also why I said don’t accuse her in writing on the WhatsApp groups as that could technically be libelous. But if she outlines what she said on here saying she and her friend were the only ones in the house and she woke to her jewellery being v neatly set on the side but destroyed, she doesn’t have to say her obviously psychotic friend did it.

BMW6 · 23/05/2025 09:02

What is a "hallway console" for jewellery??

ScandiStyle · 23/05/2025 09:02

Police won't be interested in some minor scuffle over jewellery between 2 women. If it's several pieces and they total £300 then it's not expensive stuff. If she'd stolen a £10K diamond that's different.

If you report her it risks her coming back with a brick through your window or a nasty scrape on your car.

I'd leave it. However, I genuinely don't understand you leaving /storing jewellery on the hall table. Surely you take it up to your bedroom?

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